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Christ almighty, I look like a 70's open university lecturer that's been living like wild man in the woods.

A night vision photo was taken on someone's phone of me and Ali pissed as arseholes trying not to fall over, anyone got that? It basically looks like she's caught Bigfoot.

Make sure you're at CSS you daft c*nt, 70 people confirmed camping, it's going to be utter carnage!

You are one of the most mellow blokes i've ever met Gus, it's like you're permentantly stoned, I swear that vape pipe you were sucking on had something funky in it, you're are a proper 90's space cadet.

Pair of c*nts.

...and the front...and whenever you speak.

Nob

I look like an axe murderer.

There was nothing left in the field, someone will have it.

It'll be a two day recovery, you were f*cking hammered!

The most florescent man in the world. Did a good job of keeping the flies away, the swarm seemed to like your neon arse the most.

I didn't puke at all, Ron's not looking too good though, he was f*cking ruined last, did a cockney walk to chas and dave and everything.

I'm still pissed.

It's their attempt at a family car, front engined, 4 seats, with decent boot space, I quite like them.

Ferrari FF?

That someone is always me, in every situation. Truth or dare, spin the bottle?

Very very frightening....

Your poor girl sounded well upset, that would bother me more than the car.

Is your car fixed, did you finish the man BBQ?

There isn't a part of my alloys that isn't curbed, chipped, dented, scratched or generally smashed to f*ck, so no that wouldn't bother me.

Double tap, only way to be sure.

I put wicker shoes on the list but I couldn't find a store douchebaggy enough.

I've made a list of all the stuff I need and most of it's the dogs.

You really go the extra mile for a load of internet dickheads.

I though you meat VW's for a second, i'd rather be covered in insects than hang out with a load of Bettle owners.

Hoovered most of the gravel, dirt and dog hair out the car, engine oil topped up, gearbox oil topped up, wish I had some coolant to top that up but it's above minimum so that'll have to do. Nice to see you lot are already missing me and felt the need to ring me so you can hear my voice, benders.

Full face helmets are so hot even on a cold day, I don't know how racing drivers don't die in hot countries.

Took me three months of binge watching to watch all the MCM vids, I discovered them around the time Moog had a Honda.

The less other random people there the better, that way they won't get pissed of when Alex starts screaming like a child after half a shandy.

Ahh right, so they've basically given us the run of the place?