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Like a good cheddar I hope you haven't gone mouldy with age.

Does that mean he'll be in the same area code as your sister for a weekend? Without you there.

Well Hi...... All that being a c**t stuff was lies. I'm innocent. Want to hold my hand. Please be gentle though.

Do you look like your nan? -30-40 years long blone straight locks? therefore Cameron Diaz? P.S Kevwin makes the party! Welcome sir.

Your nan? Your Mum?

Are you drinking?

Well it would all depend what I had been up to over the last few weeks. I'm not making it up.

Family picture?

Let me near your sister? Thats kind of her. Awesome, you aren't needed then. Just hook me up with Mama and Nanas numbers and I'm good to go. Bet your boyfriend is jealous now.

This is the internets. They can be what I wants in my imagainations. You wouldn't let me near your sister:dapprove:

Tell him thanks and I just want to let him know I don't bat that way so if he was thinking, you.. him... me... him... you... and that kind of thing I'd prefer he wasn't involved and we sort of did you... me... a sister (but not mine).... me.... you.... I'm sure my arm can be twisted. just...

I hate it when women talk in riddles. Thanks for decoding it.

I think I'd sway more towards c**t tbh. Nice c**t though. Do you think I'm amateur? The opening comment changes each time. Have a look for yourself. No two introductions are the same.

Sober for 37 days actually.

When I finally have sex I will find out.

I just wanted to point out I won't tell your mum about the making love part, but me and your father will hi-5 about it over a pint in the pub later on.

Hello Lyndseyy may I welcome you to this friendly club. We have lots to offer including great advice and technical know how. Anything you need to know drop me a PM and I'll see if I can help. If it takes a while to reply it is probably because I'm out doing some charitable work for meals on...

I'm a loser. I did go and look to get the car out but it was covered in dust. Going to give it a scrub this weekend.

Lucky Blondie.... I told a lie I won't be there, I'm going out earlier than I thought. Have fun.

Well I might be there, I might not. Depends how lazy I am. The car does need a run out so it might just be a quick stop in after I get some petrol. Who knows.

You'd need to throw in your trouser tool aswell.

I'll bring the hammer and post. Will pop along for an hour then as i heard you wanted to buy a new car.........;)

What are the plans for this one? I might pop around for an ickle bit I got to go out about 8:30?

I might pop along if I can be bothered to ge tthe car out the garage.

Have you ever lezered it up when you are drunk?

Leigh I saved three whales last week from Japanese harpoons.

Love it so much you came across it? Hope its laminated;)

XXX rated baby. When I rub a lady with my magic hands I can make a genie pop out their anus. Its a skill not everyone has.

Central heating or massage? there will be an export tax of course.. Note: If you have the massage you won't need the central heating

I'm sorry. I only help the most needy and as you are both Southerners like myself you do not need free Central Heating. Only people who are less fortunate than ourselves sucgh as Eskimos or the Scottish would be entitled to such amenities. I can however offer you both free massages to help...