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Keys in the ignition? Or where are they? Bend top of door out, wedge, get hook i.e coat hanger and hook up keys. if not, try press the button on the dash.
I solved my brothers "rattle" the other day, said its been like it for a few months.. the heatshield had fallen off and was litterally sitting on top of the exhaust, how it didn't fall off i'll never know.
I kind of understand where you are coming from, not totally though,if you're left with no money in the bank after buying them, then you can't afford it, I know I couldn't. Plus I wouldn't want the £200 a month taken away from me when I could be running around in a £1000 shitter and paying near...