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6 Countries, 1700 miles, 1 Porsche 997T



  Turbos.
Yesterday I arrived back from Denmark. I go every year with my half Danish girlfriend to see her family. Normally we just go by Ryanfair, complete with the queue jostling and cramp, so I thought what better chance to get to know the car with a near 2,000 mile week-long jaunt? After all, it was for this sort of trip I bought it…

Now, at this point you may wish to scroll down and take a look at the photos, and leave. Couldn’t blame you. For the bored, or ones seeking a bit of motivation, you may be interested to take a look at my ramblings. I don’t possess the skill of phrase as a journalist would, but I’ve given it a go in order go give the best review of the car I can.

Due to the Eurotunnel strikes and my aversion to planning ahead, we had to get the ferry over to France. This involved an early start, so I cleaned the wheels, checked fluids and such like the night before.

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It was nice to take the car away from the driveway for a bit, as some renovations to my mum’s house are doing nothing to help the paintwork. I left the ‘new’ garage in this state, hoping for a ’60 Minute Makeover’ style turnaround upon my return.

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It was an early start, but I find it easy to get up early if I have a genuine reason too. We also got to see the sunrise and my sleep deprived inhibitions had been lowered enough to pay motorway-services petrol prices.

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You’ll be devastated to read I’ve not got any pictures of the ferry, but we got a fry up which I have to say is lot better than sharing a confined space on the Eurotunnel where the only entertainment is witnessing some bloke forlornly looking for the nearest coach with a toilet.
To elevate myself above the nether regions of society who actively choose to add an hour to their journey for the sake of a few quid, we had Priority unloading, so we were away quickly. Our first stop was the Factory Hotel in Munster; a converted old brewery. The journey was trouble-free and we arrived free of back pain; glad the original owner specified the fancy electric sports seats!

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If you’re ever around the area, the rooms aren’t much more than a Premier Inn but are much cooler! You also have access to the gym next door, and there is a basement nightclub and two restaurants.

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The next morning it was onto Denmark. I was keen to meet our resident Danish CS member Dennis, but unfortunately traffic was bad near the end of the journey. Eventually, we made it.

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Like me, I’m sure you were pleasantly surprised by the MPG reading! I basically kept to 75mph, with the occasional spurt here and there. The autobahns were pretty busy so I couldn’t really stretch her legs, but she gets up to 140mph very easily! In fact, acceleration barely tails off and the car is rock solid. It was nice to have the security of 4WD in some of the torrential downpours too.

Although the seats were fantastic, the Turbo (unsurprisingly) suffers from two major flaws similar to my Carrera S did, namely the xenons, which are like candles, and the accelerator pedal that falls to the right, which makes my ankle ache!

Having arrived at our Danish ‘Summerhouse’ we whacked on the fire and I checked out the sauna and spa bath. For those interested, it cost a few hundred quid for a weeks rental.

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The following morning, I cleaned what I could to get the car looking nice again. Over in Denmark, I believe their car tax is 100%, so any kind of nice car is a rare sight. Just think, the 911 would be well over £200k equivalent! Makes you realise that maybe we don’t have it so bad…

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Also went for a walk, and found where the cat lady from the Simpsons lives.

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Seems different people have different ideas of what a Summer House should look like. I’m not sure how an estate agent would market this, but probably something along the lines of “could do with new décor”…

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Just down the road, something far grander…

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That night, I decided to go for a drive on the local roads as the motorways had almost ruined my love for driving. You have to be careful in Denmark as cyclists are everywhere, but I had a good time messing around with the car’s settings. Sport mode stiffens the suspension and makes the throttle more sensitive, but you can operate either mode independently. Just as well, as the stiffer suspension was pointless over broken tarmac.

The big surprise was turning off the traction control, however. I assumed the car was inherently very secure, but in reality the traction systems are carefully monitoring the car and masking any clumsy inputs. Off the line it is incredible, but with TC disengaged the car slithers up the road sideways until it hits 2[SUP]nd[/SUP] gear.

The car’s natural stance is understeer, although the first bite at a corner feels very direct and it takes a while to realise just how much speed you can carry. There is less steering feel than on the Carrera S, undoubtedly down to the all-wheel drivetrain, but for an electric system Porsche have still judged it very well. To start an argument, it is better than the Nissan GTR’s.

I can’t say I got to the limit, as the car has stupendous grip; it would be crazy to get to a stage where the car is oversteering. I did slide it around coming out of 1[SUP]st[/SUP] gear corners, but wasn’t’ confident enough to ‘drift’ it per se. Will save that for a track day…

With the engine making little fuss though, you have to keep an eye on the speedo as I found I was going way too fast sometimes, entry speeds were 90mph+ whereas in my Smart it would be more like 40mph. And yet, it felt no different.

For enthusiastic drives, the noise, or lack of, has to be the disappointment. However, once hot and with the rear seats down (where the luggage had been laying!) you start to hear more from the car, and it reminded me of a drive in a GT2 not so long ago. You start to hear the build up and release of turbo pressure, which isn’t particularly exotic, but certainly has an aggressive overlay. The more I drove it, the more I started to appreciate it.

The Carrera models can be fitted with the popular Porsche Sports Exhaust (PSE), but there isn’t one for the Turbo. I like the PSE, but it does sound a little synthesize and unnatural to me in the way it activates – a bit like the AMV8. I haven’t decided if I’ll bother with a different system, especially when I believe the full Akrapovic exhaust is something like £8k!

At the end of the drive, I parked up near a beach and took some shots. Excuse my self indulgence…

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The next day it was time for my girlfriend to choose what to do, and she chose the AROS art gallery in the closest major town. I’m sure I’m not alone, but with any car park I spend forever looking for the perfect space. They were all annoyingly narrow! I left the car fearing dents when I returned…

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The car was never far out of sight, and no one parked next to it!

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Fear not, I’m not going to give you every monotonous detail of the holiday, so I’ll move on swiftly to my girlfriend’s uncle’s place. He has a fantastic place with something like 27 hectares of grounds! Couldn’t help but take a few snaps…

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He raced for BMC/Mini in the ‘70s, so was a fan of seeing a ‘proper’ car on Danish roads. Overall, it was amazing the attention the car got despite being – what I thought – quite a forgettable, silver shape. Funniest moment was a German guy hanging his head out of the window to have a look, whilst doing about 100mph!

After seeing the gruesome photos of his latest hunting trip in Africa, we left! Whatever floats your boat…

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When it came to leaving, there was the struggle once again to get everything back in the car. The front boot is actually reasonably spacious as long as you have ‘squishy’ bags.

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A rare shot of Mrs Englebert.

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We’d again be stopping at a hotel halfway back to England, but this time in Dusseldorf. The journey was meant to be relaxed, leaving plenty of time to enjoy the spa on our arrival. It wasn’t to be however, taking 10 hours! The sat-nav was bloody useless, directing us smack bang into some roadworks outside of Hamburg. It also didn’t know about some motorways, despite the car being only a year old…annoying.


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I thought Germans were civilized, but just like the UK there was the occasional c**t who used the hard shoulder! Also had a Bulgarian family waving at us, with the kid climbing out of the sunroof to have a gander! We allowed ourselves a quick break for the loo, but that was sadly it.

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After finally escaping the jams, it was time to make up some time. At each unrestricted autobahn section, it was a case of getting braver each time, but sadly the only clean stretch was a very badly kept dual carriageway. I lifted off at 176mph.

The car does it at alarming ease, but of course you still catch other cars at an incredible rate! It’s important to have strong brakes, as the Europeans will put out in front of you no matter the speed. But at least they pull over quickly, and don’t hog the middle lane…

Generally, people were respectful of the car, but there was the occasional guy trying to have a go. A modified matt black Skoda Octavia belched a cloud of smoke as it tried accelerating away from me, and it was actually quite quick until about 120mph, but it was like he was walking after that. Nevertheless, interesting to see how quick it is against a reference point! The only other person was a Passat CC driver (from Belgium, and in my experience the worst drivers) which was relentlessly tailgatingme. I went from about 80mph-170mph and he was literally a dot, fcuking fag.

The hilarious thing is at a steady 140mph cruise the car kicks down if you give the throttle a massage, and I never got over how it still accelerated that hard at that speed.

So, just the 10 hours later, we eventually got to the hotel. Be amazed by my beautiful piece of parking…


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It was already late, but 30 degrees so we ate outside where I had a nice steak and had a watchful eye on the car. Precious, much?


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I was then in a better mood when walking round the corner, to a car i quite like. I wanted to get a decent photo, but said to the missus PLEASE GOD NO DON’T LET IT BE HIM as this moron dressed in black complete with mullet unlocked it…

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Officially, NSX owners aren’t cool.

The next day it was back home and, this time, via Eurotunnel. I had booked a higher space to go in with the trucks (didn’t want to risk kerbing wheels), but the French bish re-routed me to a normal queue whilst I wasn’t paying attention. The car was fortunately narrow enough, unlike my dad's Cayenne which now has 4 kerbed wheels!

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The magnetic GB sticker said it had been tested to 130mph; I can officially say that it’s understated!

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Back in Blightly, I had to keep reminding myself to slow down; 70mph felt like I could get out and walk! To avoid temptation, we turned off and took to the B-roads. Eventually we got home, completing the mighty round-trip.

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This morning I took out all the fuel bills, about 500 quid’s worth!


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Overall, despite the traffic, I’m glad I drove. It was still an experience, and I got to know the car well. It is also now nicely run in! This morning the check oil light came on though, it was on minimum…oops. Scarily, the car has two year service intervals but I think I’ll get an oil change done soon anyway.
 

Munday

ClioSport Club Member
  RB 182, 1275GT, C220
Nice write up, enjoyed reading it. Looks like you had a great time! :)
 
  182 FF, A6 Avant
I love long European journeys! Lovely car too, always promised myself a 911 of some variety eventually!

Out of interest, is the Tiguan in the last pictures yours (or a family members?) How do you/they find it?
 
  Turbos.
Thanks guys. The car was from a main dealer.

The Tiguan is my mums. It is an Explorer model with the Sport's arches and wheels. I think it is a great car personally, although ours has had lots of engine related issues with coolant/pipes etc (bodged manufacturer, IMO). It handles like a car, you can really chuck it into bends, and yet it got through most of the snow no problems. In fact, it went a bit RWD in the snow and was huge fun! Interior feels a bit cheap coming from my dad's Cayenne but i don't know if the recent facelift is an improvement..

I drove it to Barcelona last year and it was a noble steed!
 

Poopensharten

ClioSport Club Member
  Golf R
Superb! Im stunned at the Denmark car tax thing!!!

Good write up that mate, its good to see a car as such being used as per what it was intended for! (in my head)

Missus is a looker aswell.

Winning is what you're doing :eek: lol
 
  182 FF, A6 Avant
Thanks guys. The car was from a main dealer.

The Tiguan is my mums. It is an Explorer model with the Sport's arches and wheels. I think it is a great car personally, although ours has had lots of engine related issues with coolant/pipes etc (bodged manufacturer, IMO). It handles like a car, you can really chuck it into bends, and yet it got through most of the snow no problems. In fact, it went a bit RWD in the snow and was huge fun! Interior feels a bit cheap coming from my dad's Cayenne but i don't know if the recent facelift is an improvement..

I drove it to Barcelona last year and it was a noble steed!

Thanks, I don't really use my 650 much and it's overkill for my wife to use for daily duties with the baby. So, we're looking at Soft-Roaders, Tiguan/FreelanderII/X3 etc.
 

RDH

ClioSport Club Member
Lovely read. From what you've said the 997 sounds like a perfect balance between performance and comfort!
 

Hixle

Hi Kiss Luke E****
ClioSport Club Member
  E90 M3
Awesome write up mate, I didn't even realise you'd bought this. Perfect everyday supercar.

Lol at the cats!
 

TheEvilGiraffe

South East - Essex
ClioSport Area Rep
Nice write up dude.

Porsche turbo - nice and subtle. Classy. Auto however ? :(

Danish missus - top man points there.

Took me 3 attempts but I think I found 10 cats in the first photo - second pic of the kitteh is SO cute !

176mph and still going ? Jebus. You should email the GB sticker company and let them know...

Denmark is lovely. I need to go back there again soon :)
 
Good write up, the missus is fit, I like your car of a Beetle and that coloured bit on top of the museum looks MINT!
 

Pep

ClioSport Club Member
  M2,XJS,S1000RR
Good stuff.
Always nice to see amazing cars like this with plenty of pictures and write up etc, keep it coming!
 

Rob

ClioSport Moderator
A great read Rob, haven't seen a decent write up in a while so it makes a change. (Makes me silly Clio euro trip seem a bit pants mind...)

Car's awesome, this is the first time I've seen any pics of it I think. I'm not jealous, at all....
 

R-Sport.

ClioSport Club Member
  Mint 1*2's for sale-
nice thread- all the more annoying to see a Porsche Turbo get 5MPG better than a Clio 200

LOL
S
 
  Turbos.
I'm surprised, only one comment on the gearbox! Can't say i regretted the move when stuck in a couple of hours of stop start traffic ;)

And yep, the MPG is amazing, especially when you consider it is a 5 speed, not like i have a hundred gears to work with...

Would certainly recommend a weekend trip to Denmark to anyone, cheap to get there and a nice feel about it. Feels like the UK did about 10 years ago, when people were nice to each other LOL.
 

Rob

ClioSport Moderator
The gearbox is upsetting but it's just so pretty.

5 speed? wtf!

how old are you?

Far to f**king young

EDIT: I meant to ask Rob, did you have the "posh" breakfast upstairs in the restaurant???

We did, and it made the journey 50x better than just sitting down in peasant class.

Not to mention unlimited coffee and toast. Mint.
 
Last edited:
  Megane GT
Nice car and good write up. Like the little jokes in there too :) and some good photography!
 
  FN2 Type R +MK6 Golf
Great little write up and a good trip.Always been pleased to see the mpg returns on such a powerful car.My mates was the same as yours but black and on a 58 plate.he got 32mpg on a trip up and around scotland.

Do you lease it or did you buy it out of intrest,my mate leased his as the actual cost and depreciation over 2 yrs it was actually cheaper to lease it.
 
  Oil Burner
Good read Rob, sounds like an entertaining trip!

Tbh im shocked at the MPG your getting, very impressive!
 
Straight out ballin'

Proper high roller. That wheel base makes me a little bit sadder each time I see it though. They look like those squashed photoshop cars that were all the rage a while ago. I'd have it though.
 
  ITB BG 182
Great write up and good to read.

One quick question for you, did you get the 60 minute make over on the garage or aint you poor enough for the cast to turn up?
 
  Turbos.
J'adore Danmark It's wonderful. Where did you go ?

Skaering, just outside of Aarhus.

how old are you?

26

EDIT: I meant to ask Rob, did you have the "posh" breakfast upstairs in the restaurant???

We did, and it made the journey 50x better than just sitting down in peasant class.

Not to mention unlimited coffee and toast. Mint.

Naturally, can't turn down a fry up. Annoyed they just gave it to you, i was looking forward to fried bread :dapprove:

Did you go on the bouncy castles?

You don't know how much i wanted to!

One quick question for you, did you get the 60 minute make over on the garage or aint you poor enough for the cast to turn up?

No, unfortunately my sob story of struggling to pay off a Porsche didn't compete with having one-legged kids who are currently living in the kitchen because their dad died trying to knock through a wall.

Brilliant write up mate. It's these little gems that make coming on here still worthwhile.

IMO

Thanks mate, and thank you all. Should i be getting some sort of award?
 

Gally

Formerly Mashed up egg in a cup
ClioSport Club Member
Great write up Fenn. The Turbo really is an all round Car. Like I said it's the exact reason my boss has had 3. Can take it anywhere, can park it anywhere.

Mind and give me a shout if you ever decide to bat for the other team. <3

More pics required of the OH. ;)
 


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