He is but if you're going to halfords tomorrow then I know Rich's default answer by now. Print this method off and take to halfords as a shopping list! lol
Firstly rinse car. Then,
You will need 2 buckets, fill one with Meguiars gold class shampoo diluted in warm water. Fill the other bucket with cold water.
Wash the car with a lambswool washmitt, dipping in the shampoo then washing a part of the car, then dip into the cold water to get any dirt off mitt, then into shampoo bucket and keep going in that cycle untill whole car is clean.
Rinse the suds off when clean.
Now using Meguiars Quick Clay and spray detailer, clay the car to get all contaminents off, following the instructions on the box...spray detailer generously then rub clay over the surface doing a bit at a time and rinsing off. Keep are that is being clayed well lubricated.
Rinse off when finished and dry with Microfibre towels, not a chamois leather.
If there are light swirls and scratches purchase Meguiars Scratch X and follow directions to apply.
Now, Auto Glym Super Resin Polish, applied to whole car with a cloth and buffed off with a microfibre towell. Once all buffed off apply a thin coat of Auto Glym Extra Gloss Protection alow to cure for around 45mins to an hour (giving you a good chance to hoover inside etc) then buff off, if you wish, for more protection, apply another thin coat now leaving 45 mins - 1hr again)
Now you can wax the car using a carnuba wax (if available from halfords, if not the best wax option they have) then buff off with a microfibre.
Finally using Auto Glym Trim & bumper and Meguiars Endurance tyre Gel dress the tyres and plastic trim to finish the car off perfectly.
For the Wheels, wheel arches/liners and your engine bay you want Auto Glym Engine and machine cleaner.
If you don't fancy all of that then you could miss out the clay and scratch x stages and maybe even the AG EGP stage, but like you said it deserves bringing back to glory at least once. And, once you've done one good thorogh clean it will be soooo much easier to clean and keep on top of in future. Is a long days work and fairly expensive but definately worth it.
Now, I just know I'll press 'submit' now and someone will have copied and pasted something similar from somewhere else after me typing all that!!....