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Whats wrong with your car right now??

intermediate shaft is knocking .. will get it fixed but seems a lovely £200 for the part and a few hours in the garage:) greatt!
 
Cat fitting kit seems to have had it yesterday now the exhaust touches and make a squeaking noise which is really annoying!!
 
Exhaust is blowing badly from Cat to Center join.

tried fixing it a few times, but blows again within a week
 
Trying to cure a misfire. New plugs fitted along with leads as old ones were found to be crushed / melted in parts. Still no joy so on to injectors next
 
Driver side headlight washer has given up the ghost 1 day after replacing the passenger side (typical) Nearside driveshaft has killed its itself Renaults don't we all just love them !!
 
Mine has a boost pipe that likes to pop off occasionally. Annoyingly the last time it happend was on the M1!!
The standard rubber doesn't seem to like 18-20psi. Some new larger, silicone and alloy intercooler pipework is now on order (2.5" instead of 2").
 
1) Crank Pulley is squeaking. Getting it replaced next week.
2) Mysterious knock from front off side when lifting off throttle at low speeds. Possibly driveshaft or engine mount.
3) Off side driveshaft cv boot has a tiny nick in it and a small amount of cv grease has leaked out.
4) Passenger window regulator is failing. Have a s/h one ready to go on.
 
Burning oil somewhere.

Blue smoke when I start it and for a minute or so after when giving it a Rev. Fine after it's been driven for a minute or two.

Turbo seals ? Valve seals ? Anyone any ideas. Megane dci btw.
 
Immobiliser issues - turn the ignition on and the red immobiliser light flashes at me. Sit in the car for 5 mins turning the key until it decides not to flash and let's me start the bloody thing.

Clutch is on it's way out.

Knocking noise coming from rear brake whilst braking at low speeds.

Front caliper is binding slightly.
 
Rear wiper arm snapped off, rip in driver seat that's been there since I bought it, alternator whining, dephaser rattling, hasn't been cleaned since November, wheels need a refurb.

Luckily most of those things I can fix when I get off my arse. Have all the parts sat here waiting.
 
Driver side indicator playing up....not usual click..click..click....and the throttle keeps jumping up,suspected dirty throttle body sticking??
 
Strange knock from front that myself, 2 mechanics and 2 Renault technicians cant seem to locate, a poorly fitted back box that blows and a windscreen that's got no less than 3 chips.
 
Well it was well over due a oil swap so done that lastnight and the pre cat 02 was causeing limp mode so swapped that out, Eml light is still on but its fixed :D ,so touch wood right now theres nothing i know of thats wrong ( Except the hazed headlights).
 
Also got the flashing immobiliser light on the dash when i try and start it...getting to be a pain now will try and sort it soon before it totally fails.
Driver side indicator playing up....not usual click..click..click....and the throttle keeps jumping up,suspected dirty throttle body sticking??
 
Squeaking sunroof and driver's door, no spare tyre (had to use it at work), needs 4 new tyres anyway, full of crap and needs a good clean inside and out. Oh and the sunroof leaks as well.
 
Horrendous vibrating sound when accelerating.
Massive stone chip on bonnet.
Drivers seat will not move to let people out of the back.
 
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