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I'm picking up a hooker, having sex with her, and then putting her in the boot doused in petrol. We'll sort something tomorrow or i might pop along later if I have time.

What we doing about Saturday anyway? Am I meeting you somewhere?

Might do. Got football but its later on. Depends what time I am home from work.

Re: Burpspeed Go-Karting Meet - PAYMENT IN CASH ONLY ON THE DAY!! Ahh right. I paid 20 I think. Who knows! Good luck organising the rabble on Saturday!

If I turn up you got nothing to worry about. It will look imaculate.

Re: Burpspeed Go-Karting Meet - PAYMENT IN CASH ONLY ON THE DAY!! So we owe...... £33.50? Do we have a plan for what happens Saturday? Whats the racing plan? P.S Daniel, don't punch me Saturday if I tell you something please.

Welcome mate. In the first picture you could be 13 foot tall. In the last pic you could be about 18 inches tall?

Tight ass! But I suppose with petrol prices the owner might be struglling. i just thouht he was being a lazy git!

Can I ask why he went to all that detail but never took the wheels off to clean them properly?

I'll send a cold shiver down your spine. I shop in Iceland sometimes. Apparently thats why Mums go to iceland.

Sorry this is the best one I can find. It was taken on a date i went on one night.

You've obviously never had me touch your feet. Most girls say what you did to start with. You'll be begging me to suck your toes come the end. I'll see if I can dig a picture of myself out. It will probably be one taken on my iPhone4 though.

FLOL, not guilty! I'm a gentleman. We'd have dinner. I'd cook. We'd watch a film her choice. I'd massage her feet. Tell her how beautiful she is. Its just standard dinner dating with me. Her parents would love me. We should date.

Suppose I did, I at least wanted some sort of half arsed attempt to justify it! I will try and get one before the end of the month.

lol Jason.....and January blues is.........

Roof and splitter for me. Awesome car though.

You learn something new every day. Maybe I should spray a little fall out remover on the Mrs next time I gag her. I didn't realise there was so much involved. I've done a little clay, polish wax before in my life but that all seems a little OTT.

Whats the difference between de-fallout and clay? I thought thats what a clay was for? I would ask my detailer but he doesn't speak English and only has a hose and sponge.

^^^^ Really like that. January Blues pretty much narrows it down to any picture taken in january lol.

You put wax on your hair, Put Sealant on your fence And you Glaze your creme brulee

Keep in touch Jedi Junior. I like to think of it more as a grope than a touch.

this is to easy. Your name is Dave you are 58 and you are looking for a dogging partner? You don't have a doll do you?

Excellent work. How do you know where to start when the thing comes in looking like it did?

Don't build me up. I'll only disappoint.

When I said i wanted something special for xmas you never had to give me AIDS! So I officially posted the most useless post ever!

You click on something somewhere up the top in one of the things I think. Normal fee = £10 Pics of you = £10 but you get special membership status.

You are more like a wet salmon than a shark now.

you were one of the best man!

Nothing wrong with being dirty.

All pictures are taken on my iPhone5 i have this problem. Somethimes the mother loves me more than she should and I end up in her bed. Not my fault though.