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"Dear Fastcar Magazine, I bought a new clio 1.2 16v which i razz round like a little micheal schumacher in. The one thing that bothers me is, ive done 14000k and somehow have used 5 litres of oil. Like i say, I razz around, but my last motor never used this much. The dealer thinks its normal, but im still not satisfied. Can you please tell me where my oil has gone?"
Answer : " John, mate, youre in luck. We did a mass email asking readers and collegues from around the world if theyve seen your oil. So far weve had two firm sightings of what could be Castrol GTX. A small pool was spotted outside the Maori Arts and Crafts shop car park, Rotorua, New Zealand and a drop has been seen at the taxis rank, outside Jesters Bar, Mablethorpe - Slim Jules"