So I read this thread from start to finish and it all screams desperation from you to find reconciliation in this car (and the dealership) which btw sounds like the most Bradford place I've ever heard of judging by the videos and how they conduct business.
Sometimes it's so easy to get the rose tinted glasses on when something like this pops up and it can be inevitably hard for people around you to show you what's actually going on.
I am so glad that you pulled out of the sale, its got literally every red flag going for it! I just hope you use this as a bit of learning curve and not to rush into the next sale.
Indeed,
You know what its like, find a car that you like - forget all common sense. I realise I do this which is why I started the thread as a reality check. I've tried on and off over the past year to buy something I want, each time the dealer either sells the car before I get there or there turns out to be something awful wrong with the car. Buying cars now is even harder, feels like a race which you kind of need to rush into otherwise the cars are gone before you even pick up the phone.
135i coupe, sold the day I was due to pick it up
ISF, sold in the 10mins between me putting the phone down for a think and calling back to arrange viewing
E92 M3 which turned out to have been clocked
Ignoring the E92, the common theme was that I never put a deposit down on the car, so this time round I was dead set on finding something, putting a deposit down and just buying it, this morning I had absolutely talked myself into buying this car - deep down I had reservations about the dealership but (your right) wanted to convince myself they were a bunch of alright chaps, the car being CAT N I'm alright with given the price but the video they sent last just really fucked me off, that and the personal bank account for deposit.
I'm sure everyone does this to a certain extent, finds something expensive they want, talks themselves into it then looks for people around them to help convince them its a good thing to do. Actually in this instance instead of calling car mates who all would have said 'yea, sweet, do it, do it' I called my old man and put a post up here because most here seem to be (despite this originally being a Clio forum) pretty level headed and many own decent cars and can offer sensible advice.
I think if you try to talk yourself, and others who aren't emotionally involved into something and at the end everyone says - don't do it, then you have to admit that your rushing into something potentially stupid. It also doesn't help that I am set on not financing something otherwise with a 25k deposit I'm sure I could get into something quite serious, together with some quite serious repayments!
Ultimately I still have a number of shittier cars which I should sort out and sell before pissing my neighbors and Mrs off with another - my feelings are the same though, I've always had a decent job, put all my money into the flat then house and had sub 10k cars while watching mates all get really nice motors, I truly believe that if I don't get into something decent in the near future it will become harder and harder and just won't happen then I'll look back and feel stupid for not doing it 🤷♂️