Help! My Car is dead :(

[ollie]

I'd forget the mechanic tbh, get a new battery for it anyway as the chances are the dude is going to want to charge you more for it then a shop would.

Also remember, if you have the standard HU (radio) in the car you'll need the code to put in when you change the battery.

Decent batt - from £80 - £200

Pmsl !!

Pretty much what I said to her lol.

 

[.Gem.]

gawd OK OK OK OK Ok scrub mechanic

wheres best (cheapest place to get a battery then!! And which one do I need?) AND HOW DO I CHANGE THEM OVER LOL hellp

 

[mattjk]

can ollie not help you need a socket set and a 8mm spanner

 

[ollie]

gawd OK OK OK OK Ok scrub mechanic

wheres best (cheapest place to get a battery then!! And which one do I need?) AND HOW DO I CHANGE THEM OVER LOL hellp

Just go to halfrauds and they will have a database of what battery each car uses, and they'll probably fit it if you ask nicely. DO NOT be showing flesh for free fitting either

But TBH if you can't change a battery you shouldn't own the car :rasp:

Or wait and I'll do it Just jack the moaning old cow's electric wheelchair from a few doors down to use in the mean time.

 

[.Gem.]

gawd OK OK OK OK Ok scrub mechanic

wheres best (cheapest place to get a battery then!! And which one do I need?) AND HOW DO I CHANGE THEM OVER LOL hellp

Just go to halfrauds and they will have a database of what battery each car uses, and they'll probably fit it if you ask nicely. DO NOT be showing flesh for free fitting either

But TBH if you can't change a battery you shouldn't own the car :rasp:

Or wait and I'll do it

TUT and

 

[AlexS]

Mechanic will add some sort of mark up to a battery and if you buy one yourself you will know its brand new and will get a receipt with it and therefore any warranty it may have.
Just get a like for like one.
Radio code is on the inside cover of the manual I believe.
Halfords sell batteries, I would probably go to my local A1 motor store though but only because there is a really good one near me and he knows his stuff.
Get Ollie to fit it lol.

 

[ollie]

Mechanic will add some sort of mark up to a battery and if you buy one yourself you will know its brand new and will get a receipt with it and therefore any warranty it may have.
Just get a like for like one.
Radio code is on the inside cover of the manual I believe.
Halfords sell batteries, I would probably go to my local A1 motor store though but only because there is a really good one near me and he knows his stuff.
Get Ollie to fit it lol.

Not seeing her until Wednesday though, and she's got work on Monday+Tuesday :/

 

[AlexS]

They will probably fit it at halfords for her, have you seen the adverts on Dave, that seems to suggest they do fitting.

 

[.Gem.]

Halfrauds ftw then

 

[AlexS]

That or your local Motorists centre they are usually alot more helpful in my experience.

 

[ollie]

New battery FTW. Then you can brap Down the road bouncing off the limiter at 10mph...

 

[.Gem.]

I just did 35 in a 30 tho man........gonna hand myself in

 

[ollie]

I was just going down the road (one way) doin 140 in 5th dropped it into reverse and popping flamez n dat.

 

[.Gem.]

I was just going down the road (one way) doin 140 in 5th dropped it into reverse and popping flamez n dat.

braaaap n tingz

 

[cat171]

Get a fooking room !!!!!

 

[Terry172]

Regarding the dash resetting itself, it appears it does do... So more than likely a dead battery?

Well I would say its most likely the battery that needs replacing,

1) Scrub the mechanic
2) Get down to Halfords, get new battery and get them to fit as I am sure if you ask nicely some geek will be more than happy to fit it to make his day lol

Chuckled at the mechanic in the CSL boot post lol

 

[Fred@BTM]

13mm socket, long extension and a rachet, plus an 8mm spanner

job done

 

[.Gem.]

Regarding the dash resetting itself, it appears it does do... So more than likely a dead battery?

Well I would say its most likely the battery that needs replacing,

1) Scrub the mechanic
2) Get down to Halfords, get new battery and get them to fit as I am sure if you ask nicely some geek will be more than happy to fit it to make his day lol

Chuckled at the mechanic in the CSL boot post lol

Cant get them to fit it without towing car down there tho....am gonna have to wing it and attempt it myself :approve:

 

[Bloooor]

just remember when connecting it up it may spark... Always makes me scared tbh

 

[SBV116]

Right, get the correct battery and tools that fred said, 13MM socket, longish extension bar, that clamp holds the battery in place, undo the 13MM nut and take off the clamp.

Make sure the doors are shut and the keys are out of the car, being over safe but better that than sorry, Get your 8MM spanner and undo the negative (-) firts, then undo the positive the same way.

Take the old battery out and refit in reverse order, so put the live (+) on first and tighten it up, then the negative on after.

If there is no drain on it there should be no spark worth a toss really!

In theory you should just have to reset your clock and radio code if you have a standard radio!

Battery should cost around £40-50 i would say, depending on where you get it from.

 

[mattjk]

id love to see you fit an engine LOL but seeing as your a bird ill let you off!

 

[Bloooor]

I got my 1.6 heavy duty clio battery from halfrauds, was £71!!

 

[SBV116]

I got my 1.6 heavy duty clio battery from halfrauds, was £71!!

I have an oversize battery in the cup, piad £39 for it from vauxhall, just cos there good batterys and cheap!

 

[ollie]

Right, get the correct battery and tools that fred said, 13MM socket, longish extension bar, that clamp holds the battery in place, undo the 13MM nut and take off the clamp.

Make sure the doors are shut and the keys are out of the car, being over safe but better that than sorry, Get your 8MM spanner and undo the negative (-) firts, then undo the positive the same way.

Take the old battery out and refit in reverse order, so put the live (+) on first and tighten it up, then the negative on after.

If there is no drain on it there should be no spark worth a toss really!

In theory you should just have to reset your clock and radio code if you have a standard radio!

Battery should cost around £40-50 i would say, depending on where you get it from.

Halfords seem to be around £40

Thanks for given her advice lol, safe knowing she's not going to blow herself up

 

[.Gem.]

Right, get the correct battery and tools that fred said, 13MM socket, longish extension bar, that clamp holds the battery in place, undo the 13MM nut and take off the clamp.

Make sure the doors are shut and the keys are out of the car, being over safe but better that than sorry, Get your 8MM spanner and undo the negative (-) firts, then undo the positive the same way.

Take the old battery out and refit in reverse order, so put the live (+) on first and tighten it up, then the negative on after.

If there is no drain on it there should be no spark worth a toss really!

In theory you should just have to reset your clock and radio code if you have a standard radio!

Battery should cost around £40-50 i would say, depending on where you get it from.

Halfords seem to be around £40

Thanks for given her advice lol, safe knowing she's not going to blow herself up

Spark???????????? oh god. Sh*t the bed tbh. Am gonna dieeeeeeee

 

[SBV116]

Halfords seem to be around £40

Thanks for given her advice lol, safe knowing she's not going to blow herself up

Spark???????????? oh god. Sh*t the bed tbh. Am gonna dieeeeeeee

Basically there are some consumers that are always live!!, ie the clock, radio for memory etc, so when you put the negative lead on, there maybe a little spark or crackle, dont worry thats perfectly normal!!!!

Thats why i said to make sure the doors, boot and ignition are off etc, the more things that power up when you touch the earth, the bigger the spark!!!

You will be fine!

And dont forget to take the keys out!!! It shouldnt lock or anything, but i have seen it! So put them on the wipers out of the way until the job is done! Print this page off and take it with you if it makes it easier to check through etc!

 

[.Gem.]

Spark???????????? oh god. Sh*t the bed tbh. Am gonna dieeeeeeee

Basically there are some consumers that are always live!!, ie the clock, radio for memory etc, so when you put the negative lead on, there maybe a little spark or crackle, dont worry thats perfectly normal!!!!

Thats why i said to make sure the doors, boot and ignition are off etc, the more things that power up when you touch the earth, the bigger the spark!!!

You will be fine!


And dont forget to take the keys out!!! It shouldnt lock or anything, but i have seen it! So put them on the wipers out of the way until the job is done! Print this page off and take it with you if it makes it easier to check through etc!

Cheers for the advice...Im sure Ollie will let you know if I die...hate to think what the gravestone would say loll......will try tho :S

 

[ollie]

Changed battery and immobilizer has took a s**t so car wont start...


... What to do?

 

[Gray]

Changed battery and immobilizer has took a s**t so car wont start...


... What to do?

hmm random, tried disconnecting and reconnecting the battery?

That should just reset everything?

 

[ollie]

Never mind she can't be arsed.

 

[.Gem.]

Never mind she can't be arsed.

Oh Cheers!

Not cant be arsed!! Dont know what Im doing and dont have the correct tools to get the bastar*ding thing off do I!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Fred@BTM]

lock/unlock the car a few times?

 

[SBV116]

So you have the new battery on? what happens??

 

[Gaz_]

Road trip?

 

[Bloooor]

I had the same problem when I changed my battery, immobiliser wouldn't let me start it. Think I either left the key turned a couple of clicks for abit and tried again or locked and unlocked it whilst stood outside of it

 

[.Gem.]

I had the same problem when I changed my battery, immobiliser wouldn't let me start it. Think I either left the key turned a couple of clicks for abit and tried again or locked and unlocked it whilst stood outside of it

Ive tried everything in the alarm/immobiliser manual to disarm and override it but nothing is working Cant get battery disconnected as dont have a teeny spanner or pair of pliers to unscrew to chuffing thing, and dont know what to do!!!! Forked out 50 quid for new battery and now facing however much else to sort this out. Not happy bunny. Wine ftw tbh

 

[.Gem.]

So you have the new battery on? what happens??

The car is trying to start, engine is ticking over, everything inside the car is working fine, but the immobiliser just wont let it kick into action

 

[SBV116]

Right, so the battery isnt dead then? it turns over just wont fire?!
When you turn the key the red roumd light in the middle of your instrument cluster should come on and stay solid, then go out, whats it doing? have you got a spare key?

 

[.Gem.]

Right, so the battery isnt dead then? it turns over just wont fire?!
When you turn the key the red roumd light in the middle of your instrument cluster should come on and stay solid, then go out, whats it doing? have you got a spare key?

Ive had a new battery put on today! All the lights are working fine! Seems to be the SIGMA immobilser thats the problem. Yeah ive got a spare key

 

[SBV116]

Try the spare key, so that little red light doesnt flash rapidly?