Quote: Originally posted by NickN182 on 02 August 2004
First thing to do is go and purchase a few plastic canisters of petrol and a few signal flares. Place a couple of cans of gas (with a flare tied to each can) in the boot, one in the passenger footwell and one in the drivers footwell. Catch the little pikey and give him a bit of a slap about so he is semi-concious. Then tie him in the drivers seat (using rope and gaffer tape) and tie his foot to the accelerater, again using tape. Now using another piece of rope attach one end to the accelerater loop it round the brake and up to the driver head rest so that when you pull the rope the accererater pedal depresses by itself.
Now here comes the tricky bit. Yank the accelerater rope all the way to the bottom and quickly tie it to the headrest. You should find the engine revving quite nicely. Ignite the flares, lean in through the passenger window and slam the thing into gear. Watch as the car roars into the distance with the flares burning through the petrol canisters until both your old car and the chap who vandalised it disappear in a huge explosion (for a good example of this in practice study the film "The Crow" before embarking on your crusade). Then go home, phone your insurance company and claim for the loss of your vehicle and have a nice cup of tea.
Remind me never to p*ss you off...!!
I reckon the way forward is to scare the f*ck out of him without ACTUALLY doing anything (tempting though it is)
6 mates, kidnap him, dump him in the middle of nowhere, then say you want your stuff back by tomorrow or next time youll do the same but break his legs ..and assorted other threats.