Reported to Autotrader. I'm not sure if it wasn't just moved to Edinburgh to a friend to try to sell it. Would explain why there are no more previous owners, and why I received a spewing ticket in it last year... (DVLA were informed of the exact date I got rid of the car after that, making me think the V5 hasn't gone anywhere yet).
And yes you could remove the rest of the semi auto gubbins, patch up the holes in the carpet and bulk head, remove the sensor that was bolted under the car and replace or service the engine... But for that price?!