where do I start

[Captain Slarty]

nooo nooo.. this is pure science in the search for a new add-on product...

In my eternal search for nirvana, I pronounce that the DDH (EDDD/CaptnS enterprises PLC !) solution may even be the answer to perpetual motion.. heres why.. Because the above description of DDH is based on scientific fact, it becomes aparant that due to the occupation of -s (Minus Space) of DDH, that you could actually induce a void within the clio cockpit.. simply by adding MORE DDH !!.. this will cause a partial massless area and bend or curve interier cockpit space (As Einstein actually predicted !)... if we were to ADD a DDH generator to this minus space area, then both the volume, and weight would be ofset by the -s and LTH (Lighter than air) nature.. if the DDH generator were set to work, as output increased, both mass and weight would reduce. If we could control the generator to only reduce mass to the point that take off actually becomes probable, then we could have a power to weight ratio that is currently unheard of. Applying positive feedback AFTER the point of take off (PTO) we could even hover.

If surplus DDH was used to increase power.. then eventually a turbo charged effect would occur, (as the DDH reconstituted and expanded, and cooled!)

In other words, the pressure would rise exponentially, so would the power, but the cooling effect of the burn to dynamic adiabatic increase could be effectively neutralised (Free Power !!)

So, we have a method of reducing weight and increasing power......

Now, to market it...



criteria..


got to be less than £50 (Target audience loose change)
got to either look like a dump valve or a turbo.. and.. most importantly.. have
a farting sound ascociated with it lol
Offer a moneyback guarantee to ensue genuine comittment and instill confidence.
Enlist the help of 2 companies (one who no longer exists - and one that has a big name, but the review is actually written by a service manager we met at the local boozer and slipped him a monkey...
Have a description that beggars belief and claim it will have your babies...
EDDD ?? you in ??

also looking for people with loadsa dosh to contribute in a totally carefree manner.....

Joe oops

 

[Lucy]

arnt you all supposed to be talking about my motor ?? you all sound like students or cleaver people !! p.s captain s the letter has gone off I have enrolled with the IAM ... arnt i the responsable citizen !

 

[Captain Slarty]

I bow to your purity and sensibility...



oh, yes, yer motor.. well, when you done the course.. you wont wanna mod it.. just enjoy it.. its not about fuddy duddy volvo flatcaps.. its about making progress, striaghtening out the bends, raising your vision, knowing the surfaces and vehicle systems.. !

you will love it, and be a far happier driver, and quicker when you want to be - in safety - and have more fun into the bargain...

I bet you a tenner lol... you WILL come back here after the course and proclaim it as SUPERB !...



thats how much it helps. !.. I got mine free from the ambulance service, but even at the price they charge. its a bargain..

great news.. have fun.. let us know.



bye



Joe.

 

[Captain Slarty]

ps, lucy, not a student, I am an old git... getting a volvo next.. sob, sob...

 

[Ben H]

So how much does an AIM course cost? Ive been meaning to look into this for a while. Do you get an instructor sitting in your car, or do they supply a car too??

Cheers

 

[Eddd]

Hey, Im the old git here. Yep Im in. The thing is definitely going ahead. Bill Gates eat your heart out! Same to our buddies in the Middle East!

With minor tweaking, light speed travel could be possible. In a Renault! Lucy might be able to travel back in time with the knowledge gained from the driving school and undo the accident!

Were going to have to keep a tight rein on this thing and not let those nasty car companies in on the secret. All they will do is pay us lots of money to keep it quiet.

Yeah the pricing strategy seems about right.

Seriously, we have to keep this thing quiet until we get the details sorted. I dont want to get scooped on this like I did on that Ecotek thing...

 

[TB1]

Joe,

i thought that no one could take an IAM course for a minimum of 3 years after passing your test (or the test atleast) and thats one of the reasons they introduced this pass plus thing (well after my time BTW).

The IAM course is excellent but you can also do the Rspoa? courses too?

I also think that the IAM one is the course where you have to go and retake the test every 2 years too? and you get graded bronze thru to gold.



Tony

 

[Captain Slarty]

hmmmmmmm.. yep, understood..

we will have to exchange briefcases at Euston after tripping over a discarded ice cream cone.... yep. that would do..

I must admit, the revelation of the light speed theory is appealing Eddd M8..

aint considered that angle.. but hey....

if a piece of kit expands the known quotient of the visible universe, then kewl by me !.. I do think Einstein was relatively correct though.....

but dood.. HOW do we induce time travel..... hmmmmmmmmmm



hang on, this joint is working......

so, its all clear to me now......

we need to induce an inverse tachyon field from the main deflector (say, a metalised crisp packet) strapped to the front bumper....



then.... here comes the good bit...



we could , from the induced reflective dissemination (r-d factor0 (from the inverse tachton field), see what OCCURED.. then, by placing a reciever that is EXACTLY 180 degrees OUT OF PHASE, we could deduce future occurences....

simple really, yep, its a goer ..



dood.. do ya wanna join my sect.. its all about, truth, profanity, youth, and having fun in the least expensive ways lol >!

Dont involve any WAKO style parties thou !



Joe/........... ps....... that light speed theory and time travel MAY be possible by opening the ecotec by 1/4 a turn.... yes !!!!!!!.. the answer to life, the universe, and everything. !!!!!!! Slartybartfast .... !!! its your fault

"For a moment or two the old man didnt reply. He was staring at the instruments with the air of one who is trying to convert Fahrenheit to centigrade in his head while his house is burning down."

"What? he said.
The masters of Krikkit, said Slartibartfast again, and if his breathing had been sepulchral before, this time he sounded like someone in Hades with bronchitis."

"One of the interesting things about space, Arthur heard Slartibartfast saying to a large and voluminous creature who looked like someone losing a fight with a pink comforter and was gazing raptly at the old mans deep eyes and silver beard, is how dull it is."

"No, said Slartibartfast, gravely, our course is clear. He furrowed his brow until you could grow some of the smaller root vegetables in it. He stood up, he paced around. When he spoke again, what he said frightened him so much he had to sit down again."

"He pushed himself up onto his thin and wasted shoulders; his eyes stared wildly. His white hair seemed to be waving at someone it knew in the next room."

Joe......................................

 

[Ben H]

Are you Hitckhiking your way around the Galaxy? Ive got a guide you could read

 

[Captain Slarty]

has it got LARGE, FRIENDLY LETTERS on the front with......



DONT PANIC !

written on it ????

and, do u sell babel fish ???



Joe..

 

[Ben H]

No, but I hear that a certain Dent, Arthur Dent might be able to help with your enquiries.

 

[Lucy]

oh my god how scary are you guys !!??!!! I really hope you guys are not on drugs theyre REALLY bad for you and could make you go a bit mental. never mind about the volvo captain s we all get old at some point but im sure as you are a man you would be forgiven if you bought a ferrari or somthing ridiculous like that ...just blame it on the midlife crisis my dad did. Take it easy I will let you know how I get on with the driving course and court (yuk!)
p.s
love the time travel theory makes me soo happy to think that maybe just maybe (only because of people like you working on the idea) one day it could be possible

 

[Ben j]

LUCY,

i dont think there on drugs....

but we are all a bit mad on here.... ull learn to love us! http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/new/cookie3.gif

IMPORTANT BIT:

hey... your a girlie yeah????

girls get away with anything... cause they can.....

just tell em in court..... it was your fault and u are guilty but...

it was your time of the month , and therefore had some pains at the time... which may hve distracted you slightly....

the judge will always take pity in those circumstances... especially if its a bloke!

sorted... let off lightly .... learned your lesson

 

[HongKongClioman]

Even if you have prepared to plead guilty, you should insist that it was your inexperience and other factors that led to the accident AND you are taking remedial actions to improve your competency. You did drive with due care and attention. A reasonable court would agree that full attention and due care can not garantee no accidents.

Having said the above, do let me know in advance if u are planning to visit this part of the earth and intend to hire a car.

 

[Captain Slarty]

A reasonable court would agree that full attention and due care can not garantee no accidents.

HKCM, thats an interesting point.. however, the IAM Roadcraft manual is based on the premise of the system of car control

if you drive to the system, you will never have an accident that is your fault !.

and that, is accurate. So, the court may not take that view.. accidents can occur due to other factors, but there will not be an accident caused by the driver, IF the system is applied.

Joe.

 

[GR7]

Ben J how come you know so much about womens problems then? Are you a gynaecologist or something?

 

[OutKa5t]

Lucy, I have pmd you. May be able to help with the charges against you!

 

[Captain Slarty]

gr, most of us blokes know all about womens problems - you have to remember, you dont have a monopoly lol !!... its us that suffer, not you..



hee hee... ooooops, Jayne just slapped me !

 

[Captain Slarty]

and, there is a guy down the road here thats a gynaecologist.. I know as I caught him papering his hall through his letterbox.............

 

[HongKongClioman]

I have no idea about this IAM thing. But I believe there is no 100% safe system. Thats why Windows was replaced by Windows 95 then 98 then 2000 so on. Anyway, just wanted to help Lucy to lower the fine.