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i bet it didn't hit a dog really. It wouldn't have been written off. Either that or it was a very big dog. Just because he is your mate doesn't mean he is telling the truth.
if you remove the nut and spray some WD 40 where the thread is they will come loose eventually takes a long period of wiggling the wiper though, with the tool on the clio it usually wrecks the scuttle from my experience.
i don't think your going to have too much of a problem, least there is no weight been thrown around when the rear does step out a bit so it should be fairly straightforward to correct. Foot on the Loud Pedal FTW!!!
risk it, could get caught the moment you fit it, could get caught never, 30 quid fine first time, if you continually get caught your looking at getting the plate revoked, oh and it should fail an MOT