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I get what your asking for a pops and bangs map that isn't so obvious. Tbh just get a nice exhaust and enjoy the sound it makes, making it pop and crackle as you describe is likely to sound fake/broken so i'd not bother.
It's loud, chavvy, annoying, and will eventually destroy your engine and exhaust system.
And no-one in the whole world will believe you've got anti-lag on your clio.