A red missile
In the Daily Mail of all places this time, now i never read the daily outrage but some tw*t came up to me at work this morning going oh dear your cars sh*t look at this. Now the offending journalistic arsehole is one Michael Hanlon.
Big headline Clio: what a carry-on, then the good stuff The engine is a screamer - but not always, mentions the power and the 1050 kilo weight. Then he describes the car as a shopping trolley - and this is still the good bits!!!
Then he states that he doesnt have the skill to exploit the cars capabilities - fair enough except he then goes into 10 paragraph rant about what he doesnt like about the car and says This car simply wasnt that fast!!!
Then the car develops a mis-fire and eventually breaks down which he mentions near the end of the article was down to a faulty water temperature sensor - its no f**king wonder the thing wasnt performing like it should then - c**t.
Now correct me if im wrong but if you review cars for a living then actually being a decent driver would help a bit?? The two paragraphs that made me want to extract this tw*ts liver with a sh*t covered axe went thus :-
OK, the ugly. Something felt not quite right about my Clio. It pulled like a train from the off, but then change up and.... nothing. There seemed to be a flat spot at around 4,000 rpm.
I put it down to a peaky (eh??) engine and a lack of talent for matching ratio and revs on my part. But the truth is that once I spun the engine up it seemed to run out of puff. This car simply wasnt that fast.
Now the car had a problem with a sensor, so why not mention that fact BEFORE talking absolute b****cks about the cars performance, and a flat spot at around 4,000rpm?? could have fooled me? This guy is a prize tw*t!!!! Oh and heres another one you younger guys will love, he describes the car as looking cheeky and having attitude. Quote - The boys on the Southend seafront will love these. Thankfully, at group 17D, they wont be able to afford the insurance - arrogant f**ker.
So im going to contact the Daily Outrage and protest loudly and offer said Mr Hanlon the chance to be my passenger round a track - and if he takes me up on that one hell regret it, ill have the gimpy looking tw*t dropping bricks.