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The 'I work in I.T' thread
- Thread starter Donny_Dog
- Start date
Advikaz
ClioSport Club Member
Krarl
ClioSport Club Member
You should see some of the c***s I've got applying for an entry level role
You'd think I've asked some c**t to build me a spaceship with the shite on their CVs and LinkedIns 😂
Donny_Dog
ClioSport Club Member
Jim's rejects
Let me know if you want to discuss my application m9
Krarl
ClioSport Club Member
Advikaz
ClioSport Club Member
Krarl
ClioSport Club Member
It's horrific mate
Had people say they're comfortable working on site and commuting.. yet they live in London applying for a role in Leeds
I've been so concise with all the information but yet fucknuggets decide to still apply. I've been ruthless today, had to sort through 33 people that applied over the weekend. Most of them got marked down as a no
.Joe
ClioSport Club Member
Completely agree with @Krarl
Recently had a listing up with 100 applicants, after requirements filter it was down to 7
Job required driving and site visits in and around london.
One applicant only had one arm and a leg.
Another hasn't stayed in a job more than 5 months at a time.
the other 5 couldn't drive.
recruiters don't help themselves offering up anything they can throw out there
Krarl
ClioSport Club Member
So far I'd had 101 applicants
5 of those people were a suitable fit just from flicking through their CV. 1 of those people was a past employee who was a total prick but I had to put him as a suitable fit for the role because he'd already done it before 🤣
5 of those people were a suitable fit just from flicking through their CV. 1 of those people was a past employee who was a total prick but I had to put him as a suitable fit for the role because he'd already done it before 🤣
Ay Ay Ron
ClioSport Club Member
Advikaz
ClioSport Club Member
Ah.
I think we are talking about the same thing. I’m not exactly ‘Mr Current affairs’ tbh
We have roles out we are struggling to fill, s**t loads of candidates, but not the right ones. The skill shortage seems to still very much be a thing, but it’s hard to see the wood for the trees when you’re getting so many applicants.
Few guys I know are looking atm, all skilled and at the top of their game. Also struggling to get through any doors, possibly for the same reasons perhaps ..
I think we are talking about the same thing. I’m not exactly ‘Mr Current affairs’ tbh
We have roles out we are struggling to fill, s**t loads of candidates, but not the right ones. The skill shortage seems to still very much be a thing, but it’s hard to see the wood for the trees when you’re getting so many applicants.
Few guys I know are looking atm, all skilled and at the top of their game. Also struggling to get through any doors, possibly for the same reasons perhaps ..
andybond
ClioSport Club Member
You are moving one problem to another. Cyberark is a fancy password manager and RDP agent. You still grant via delegation using AD groups, roles , permissions etc
Krarl
ClioSport Club Member
Donny_Dog
ClioSport Club Member
Jim's rejects
Already drafted my linkedin post
"[Insert overly descriptive emotion e.g DELIGHTED] to announce I'll be joining Kyle's data centre as [insert job title no fucker knows what it means and didn't exist on a census even 2 years ago].
Can't wait to get started at the [describe new employer as the best company ever, even though I have no clue if they are - as I've not joined yet have I] and work with the most talented people [consider name dropping mate who got me the job - as I can't really say they have the best staff as I've not even f**king worked there, but only had a half hour interview].
Sad to be leaving PCworld, as I loved cables, espech gold HDMI's. But looking forward to [use descriptives to sound like Indiana jones like challenge or chapter or adventure - when really ill just be doing patching and holding open cabinet doors FFS].
"[Insert overly descriptive emotion e.g DELIGHTED] to announce I'll be joining Kyle's data centre as [insert job title no fucker knows what it means and didn't exist on a census even 2 years ago].
Can't wait to get started at the [describe new employer as the best company ever, even though I have no clue if they are - as I've not joined yet have I] and work with the most talented people [consider name dropping mate who got me the job - as I can't really say they have the best staff as I've not even f**king worked there, but only had a half hour interview].
Sad to be leaving PCworld, as I loved cables, espech gold HDMI's. But looking forward to [use descriptives to sound like Indiana jones like challenge or chapter or adventure - when really ill just be doing patching and holding open cabinet doors FFS].
davo172
ClioSport Club Member
TCR'd 172
If you deleted the bullshit off most people's CV only thing correct would be the name on it!🤣
Recruitment agencies are thick as f**k too, most seem to be ex "buisiness development executives" (had 10 sales jobs in last 12 months and was s**t at all of them).
Recruitment agencies are thick as f**k too, most seem to be ex "buisiness development executives" (had 10 sales jobs in last 12 months and was s**t at all of them).
Congrats Donny_Dog - Wishing you every success!
KitsonRis
ClioSport Club Member
Maybe this is where I have gone wrong recently as I’ve sent a few CVs to adverts on LinkedIn and got nothing back. But I’ve got pretty much a “basic” CV as I don’t have the corporate grovelling in it, just saying what I’ve done with no extra crap. It’s so easy to spot the rubbish people make up. But why do recruiters lap it up?!
Or I’m just s**t at working and should quit and get in the dole line.
Krarl
ClioSport Club Member
I prefer looking at a very basic CV
I hate the ones that are like 3 pages long and full of buzzwords. How bout get fucked
KitsonRis
ClioSport Club Member
You get to page 3 and continue reading? Goes straight in the no pile if I get to the end of page 2 and there is more.
Krarl
ClioSport Club Member
Nah I scroll quickly and go "NEEEXXXTTTTTT"🤣🤣
botfch
ClioSport Club Member
Clio 182
I think a lot of companies aren’t actually hiring either, I know we have several job ads listed for jobs that don’t really exist.
Pretty sure the company just wants cv’s on file for when things pick up and they do need to hire.
Advikaz
ClioSport Club Member
That's a properly c**ty thing to do. I know loads of firms do it as well
Donny_Dog
ClioSport Club Member
Jim's rejects
"1st day at the new job and I can already tell [insert organisation] cares about it's customers and products. [Attach photo of lanyard]. Kyle is such a hands on people manager, I know I've made the right choice and excited to start contributing to this great business. Now for some online HR training and a glass of red. X #great1stday".
I actually feel sick, writing this s**t
I actually feel sick, writing this s**t
Advikaz
ClioSport Club Member
KitsonRis
ClioSport Club Member
I have never done this….. 👀
Matt Cup
ClioSport Club Member
Leon Cupra
charltjr
ClioSport Club Member
I’ve done some cloud guru training, it was decent. The hands on bits with your own sandbox were very useful.
Krarl
ClioSport Club Member
.Joe
ClioSport Club Member
Well someone at the soc is majorly salty today
New Policy Old Policy
I Guess it's just there to look pretty i guess
New Policy Old Policy
I Guess it's just there to look pretty i guess
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