Funniest Thing You Have Been Told By A Dealer...

[ukaskew]

Nothing funny but I did have lots of fun when I rang around 15 or so Renault dealerships to get service quotes for my Cup. Most use your numberplate to generate a quote, but mine wasn't on their system as its a private CUP plate.

Can't remember exactly which branch this was but it went on forever...

them: registration please...
me: S25 CUP
them: is that 1999?
me: no its a private plate, its a 172 Cup, Dec 03
them: so its not 1999 then?
me: no, Dec 2003
them: do you have the original registration?
me: no, why would that help?
them: would be easier, could you explain what car it is then please
me: Its a Clio 172 Cup
them: is that one of the sport ones?
me: yes
them: whats the engine size please
me: 1998cc (being pedantic, I was bored)
them: ok I think I've got it now, what is it that you require?
me: first service
them: is that 18k?
me: no its 12k
them: we have 18k on our system...

...and you get the idea, I got there in the end though, it goes without saying that I didn't ask the poor lass to justify the ridiculous cost she quoted me! I know everyone can't know everything, but a bit of basic product knowledge isn't hard to come by. I worked at a garden centre part-time for 3 years, I hate plants but within a week or so I quickly got a good grasp of what was what, its not rocket science. Do Renault not do product training courses?

I guess they all use different systems too, because I've since had to explain my car and plate twice, once at Bournemouth and once at Trowbridge.

Oh and in 2002 Platinum Bath told me a convertable Clio was being tested and would be out within a year.

 

[ziggy_mini]

I went up to manchester last week to view a willy 2 in a dealers.
The passenger floorpan was soaked & stunk of damp when I asked him about it he said "oh that's where it has just been washed"
"are you in the habit of washing them inside then"? I asked

Stupid man

Jaine

dealer was brittania cars warrington

 

[Ads_172]

I went into a dealer to ask if they had any Mk1 172's, or whether they could get hold of any... the receptionist looked at me like I had shot her Grandma and shat on her head, before getting a Salesman.

 

[welsh182]

I had two good ones relating to the tyres on my 182

Stealer "Your car needs two front tyres sir"
Me "Yes I know, but I have ordered them elsewhere as you are very expensive"
Stealer "How much are you paying?"
Me "£75"
Stealer "Ours are £75 also"
Me "Great, if they are the right tyres, fit away"
Stealer "What do you mean if they are the right tyres?"
Me "Well apparently (big can of worms about to blow) my car has special exalto 2's with stiffer sidewalls!"
Stealer "No sir you are incorrect"
Me "Well there better be, as I paid for them along with the cup suspension pack"
Stealer "I'll go and make some calls, and be back with you asap"
10 mins later
Stealer "OK sir the tyres you want are in stock at £120 each please"
Me "As I said I will get them elsewhere, by the way what was I going to get for £75"
Stealer "195 Contis sir"


And another

Me "Where are my cans of foam for punture repair?"
Stealer "What foam sir, you have a spare wheel in the boot?"
Me "No actually I dont even have a spare wheel well"
Stealer "No sir, you need to look under the boot carpet"
Me "Please demonstrate to me"

Out we go, myself and two salesmen, whereupon they look under the boot carpet in amazement

Stealer "You dont have a spare wheel sir!"
Me "No Sh*t sherlock"

Salesmen shouts across to senior salesman "Where's the punture foam stored in theses 182's"

Senior Salesman "There's a spare wheel under the boot carpet"

Help!!!!!!!!!!

 

[theduck]

Me: I'd like to order a rear washer jet for a 172 please
Dealer: Whats your car registration?
Me: Its R4** OVT, but its not a 172
Dealer: Well whats the registration of the car the part is for?
Me: Its for my car...
Dealer: But its not a 172?
Me: I know its not, but thats the part I need as I have a 172 spoiler
Dealer: Well i cant order it for you unless you have the registration or part number
Me: But the part I need is exactly the same as the one on ALL of the Renaultsport clios, and on the dynamique range.
Dealer: No it isnt sir
Me: Yes it is, check your little computer while I walk outside to get the reg of the 182 outside

I walk off, come back

Me: Its...
Dealer: Thats ok, its £6.22 sir, and it will be here saturday

 

[makavelli]

when my car went n for its 12k service i mentioned how a lot of the lines on the heated rear screen were broken!
the deaer told me that they couldnt fix it and
"it doesnt matter anyway because you should be going that quick that it doesnt matter if you can see whats behind you or not"

hummmmmmmmm

 

[Lagerlout]

me : thats not an eighth.

dealer : it is when you include the bag.

LOL!

I've been told a few beauties.....

Renault "Your on your second centre section inside 3 months Sir, we think there may be an underlying problem"

Me "OK, what are you planning to do to resolve it"

Renault "Replace your centre section Sir."

Me "Genius!"


Monkey's!!!

 

[dalla]

This is so funny!!!

 

[Graham Gooch]

The Service Manager, Mr Darren Flowers (Olympian, New Milton):

"Im afraid the problem with the engine mounts is related to the uprated tyres you have fitted producing too much torque, the mounts cant cope. This means they wont be replaced under warranty."

Me:

"Oh rite, since when did TOYO T1-S tyres produce extra torque?"

Darren:

"Well in the case they are, so you have to pay for the 2 mounts we've fitted"

Me:

"You were supposed to change all 3 mounts under warranty"

:approve:

ahhhh olympian new milton.....................................LOLOLOL

 

[Martin_172]

they wanted to give my mum £1500 trade in for my car 6 months ago, £1500 for a 3 year old car! it might have had 117,000 miles but its in perfect condition! hence why i got it instead of them!

 

[Nafoff]

am still loving this thread

 

[TomS]

Myself and a friend went to test drive the 182 (Cup packed).....

During the drive we commented on the suspension and the difference the cup packs made......

ME: "Id deffo have to get the cup packs if I was buying one"
SALESMAN: "This isn't a cup, its a 182"
ME: "Yes but the 182's have cup suspension options"
SALESMAN: "Yes, your right.... not this one unfortuntately"
ME: "umm this has the cup packs"
SALESMAN: "This is the 182..... has it got the cup pack? how exactly do you tell?"

MY MATE (DRIVING) started pissing himself laffing

I then explained the ways to tell it had the cup packs..... he then stated he actually knew all this already......

The we asked him how to activate the cruise control.....

"Sorry mate, no idea.... it will be in the manual"

 

[Mike@Rentech]

LOL at this thread, pure quality.

I had a phone call asking for tech advise the other day from a dealer.

 

[Lee]

"I'd like to place an order for a Clio Trophy please"
"There's no such car sir, don't you mean the Megane Trophy"
"No, the Clio Trophy, have a look on www.renaultsport.co.uk"
"Oh, I didn't know that existed, can you tell me more about it"

Obviously I had to pop down and educate the salesman at that point.

 

[richy]

lol have to agree, we do have some stupid salesmen at our place!, but u do get alot of customers who talk s**t lol

actually had 1 lad the other week who owned a mk2 ph2 1.2 clio, saying to me if he fits this resistor to his alternator he will gain 20bhp lol along with his spitfire plugs

 

[myleS16]

I took the 306 s16 in to a fast fit type place
Mechanic... ive done your exhaust for you but ive noticed that the rear shocks are leaking oil, they need changing as the car is dangerous.
Me... they are filled with gas.
Mechanic... oh

 

[theduck]

lol, i like that one ^^

 

[YoShImUrA]

lmao all of it ^^

sweet post!

 

[Dan@SJM]

Me: Hi there can i have a price on some piston rings for a F7P 704 engine.

Dealer:ah the williams engine

Me:No, the 1.8 16v lump

Dealer:Ok, We dont do the pistons sperate,

Me: I Wanted piston rings!

Dealer: Ah, rigfht well we dont do those separate either, you have to buy the block.

Me: No you dont, I've seen the part no. of them separate, but cant remember it,

Dealer: Sorry sir, but it is not availiable separate. Good Bye.

Then hung up!!

 

[clio-lane]

Superb

 

[Day]

I bet the dealers have more stories about stupid customers then visa versa...

 

[LegoHead]

Me: The trim around my window seems to be falling off.

Dealer: oh , its supposed to do that.

 

[Fred@BTM]

i went to go pick up my clio after its 36K service

upon looking at the invoice i see 1hr labour @£68.50

i question the service manager

ME - "Whats this 1hr labour charge for?"
IDOT - "Let me go check"
ME - "ok"
IDOT - "the mechanics had to remove your front bumper to change the headlight bulb"
ME - "erm why?"
IDOT - " its the ony way to change the bulbs"
ME - "your winding me up aren't you?"
IDOT - "no sir"
ME - "Follow me to the car park"

we go outside, i pop the bonnet, remove the bulb and re fit it in under 60sec

ME - "are you sure about charging me 1hr labour??"

Priceless

plus i made him remove the £1.16 i got charged for washer fluid (i HATE when they do that!!)

 

[pecan]

Absolutely priceless, I could read these all day. I have one but it's not Renault it's Mazda...

After my Dad had sealed the deal to buy his new RX8 230 and whilst dealing with the paperwork, the salesman pipes up:

"You know that's faster than a BMW M3, don't you?" - I just giggled.

 

[pecan]

oh and I've thought of one I had at a Ford garage:

ME: Hi, I'd like to buy four of those black caps that fit over the window bolts for a Fiesta Zetec-S.
DEALER: Yes, they're £4 each, sir.
ME: Are you sure? I bought some for my Ka at something like 30p each the other week
DEALER: Yes but they're a different part
ME: No they're not they're exactly the same. Ok just give me four for the Ka
DEALER: Ok that'll be £1.20, please.

Went home and fitted them to my mates car later that day.

 

[Taiko]

Not really something funny, just absolutely heart wrenching. A friend went to pick up his new Black 230 RX-8, and once all the final paperwork was done, the dealer goes
"I'll just give it a clean for you, it's a little dirty"
My friend then walks out to onto the forecourt, where he sees the dealer cleaning his fairly dirty Rx-8 with a DRY towel! It absolutely ruined the paintwork, it had swirlmarks all over it. After a lot of rage, he managed to make the dealership to pay for the damaged panels to be resprayed.

 

[Fred@BTM]

i was also told that my car was "excessivley low" and that i'm causing damage to the driveshafts

i've still got the original shafts in, done 87K on them!

(they couldn't get it on the lift!)

 

[The Fatty]

lol these are all v.good! lol

my dad had a Scenic 1.6 on 3 year rental. when we took it in for the service, i checked the car all over and took pictures of all the sides (knowing how lame the dealers are..) anyways, we gave car to them, waited 5 hours before we got it back...

D: heres the car sir
Me: was it ok then?
D: well theres a few things, the left fog lamp is broken/cracked, theres 2 deep scratchs on the bonnet, and the oil lamp has a problem, it keeps coming on.
Me: it was perfect when i bought it in....
D: well it cant of been sir,
Me: well iv got these pictures i took outside here 4 hours ago!....show her the pictures...
D: ah, i see...let me just check with the mechanic...
**wait another 10 mins**
D: apparently they had an accident on te ramps...sorry about that.
Me: well your gonna pay for it!
D: yep well get that sortted out for you, however that dosnt help the oil light problem...
Me: did they check the oil?
D: yes im sure they did...
**Me not taking a word she said to be true, when to check...the oil was below the min mark!**
Me: then whys it below the min mark?! it was half full before i drove here today!
D: oh yes. the machanic must have forgot to put the oil in after the oil change....

how stupid can these people be! its like talking to a friggin computer...and a slow one at that! another story happend just the other day at the parts counter >>

Me: Hi, im going to be puting my engine in later today, but i need some new exhaust manifold to head bolts, the ones with thread on both sides.
D: yes, whats your registration?
Me: PAZ6474, and its a D7F engine
D: yep, can i ask why you need them?
Me: because im putting a new engine in...i just said that!
D: ok, there £somuch each.
Me: ok i'll take 8
D: all parts take 2 day to come....

wtf!

 

[MarkCup]

PMSL at all these

I've never had a problem at Renault dealers as Mike (Rentech) has always looked after my Cup for me.

Hendy Ford Chichester though...

"I'd like a luggage net for a Mondeo Estate"
After 10 mins of looking on the computer - "that's £89 sir".

"What the f***?!?. Ok, I also need a roller blind luggage cover for it"
Another 10 mins - "well, they're £269"
"You are taking the piss...aren't you?!"

 

[The Fatty]

adding to my earlyer post - i think we should 'name & shame' the bad ones!

my experience was with renualt at marsh barton, exeter. and renualt at barnstaple, both in devon!

 

[Fred@BTM]

Renault Solihull for me

 

[Ads_172]

Mine's Bristol Street in Marsh Barton as well...

 

[Big Iain]

took the 172 in to the dealer after I noticed the spring on the drivers side was hanging out of its seat on the strut, yes I could have fixed it myself by compressing the spring but why was it like that in the first place? so in it went, well iain what exactly were you doing at the time? I said it was on a ramp whn I noticed it, (having decat put on) he said do u drive it hard though? I said of course I do its what its there for. ALL DUE RESPECT SIR ITS NOT A SPORTS CAR is what he said as I turned around at looked at the 172 in the showroom with a big SPORTS banner al over it. t***s.

 

[Dan@SJM]

Kings in taunton

 

[Don]

I went into Lookers Stockport to buy a blanking plate for the 172 cup. Asked the bloke in parts how much they cost, he first told me that the 172s all have headlamp washers. The continued the search, and then realised that they have blanking plates. He quoted me something like £55 including VAT, I asked him if I'd get a blowjob for that as well...his reply "Well Sir, they are painted!"

WTF???

 

[Leeshez]

Well slightly different I took my clio for warranty work on friday. The steering on the drivers side sometimes clunk so i took it in. While it was in i told them there was a rattle on the passenger door, i know this coz i can hear when i turn the radio up and my brother said he could hear it. No it is not the radio or speakers or anything in the pockets. I picked it up they had done a 20 odd mile test and the fault was still there and i noticed they jammed all my cds in the glove box threw my keys out of the drivers door on the floor and all my pens was scatterd all over. When i rang them they said come back and go out with an engineer because this is the 3rd time back.

 

[jonnyboy]

This ones more a demostration of the brainless service you get, again from renault pontefract....

On the megane we have rubber sucker things that hold the engine cover in place, when you remove the engine cover they come flying off and sometimes you loose them so you have to get replacements

Renault being renault they dont sell the sucker seperate for the 225 but you can order a similar part thats actuallty from a traffic van that does the same job, so I went and ordered this part just walked in with the part number and ordered it. Went back about a week after to pick it up and one of the service guys said that he had recoignised me when I came in to order the part and knowing that I had a 225 asumed I had ordered a wrong part so he cancelled the order! They never rung me and told me or anything so I ended up waiting about 3 weeks for the fecking thing in the end .

While I was there I gave him a breifing on the megane RS F1 which nobody knew anything about lol clueless.

I think a common theme in these stories is that all dealers are run by witless morons but they think they know it all, a dangerous combination!

 

[jonnyboy]

ps someone should print this thread off and send it to renault HQ as a training document!

 

[polarbert]

i've got a good un' for you all.

when i was looking for a 182 i went into SUNWIN NOTTINGHAM garage, and spoke to a salesman called MATT MELLOR who had only been working there 6 days bless him.

Me: So what sort of a deal could you do if i bought a 182
Him: Well when it came down to ordering we might be able to throw in the cup spoiler pack for you
Me: Kidding arent you? thats 170 quid off
Him: Well they are in high demand
Me: But i can get a brand new one with both cup packs from the internet for £12500
Him: It wouldnt be a Uk car
Me: It is
Him: It wont have a 3 year warranty
Me: It does
Him: Well it wont come with everything that ours do
Me: Oh but it does.

Also i asked him about the trophy (this was around a few weeks before it was coming out)

Me: So whats the special edtion clio like then?
Him: I didnt know there was one
Me: yeah its called a trophy based on the cup i think
Him: Oh yeah its a limited edition one
Me: so whats different to it over a standard 182?
Him: Nothing really, its in a special colour and has different wheels
Me: I heard that it had some different suspension
Him: yeah it is different to the 182, it has 182 cup suspension
Me: But i thought it had special more expensive suspension?
Him: No just the same as on the cup


suffice to say, didnt go back there, i doubt i would get my car serviced there from what i have seen from other salesmen.

 

[polarbert]

the receptionist looked at me like I had shot her Grandma and shat on her head, before getting a Salesman.

funniest thing i've read all day!!!!