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Funniest Thing You Have Been Told By A Dealer...



  Skoda Fabia vRS
when buying my girlfriends 1.6 16v mk2 clio i told the salesman it needs new rear disks.

he tells me it doesnt as its just been thru the workshop for a safety check that picks up these things and if they are legal then they arnt changing them. i said no im not saying i think it needs rear disks im telling you it needs rear disks. he seems disgusted and says ok ill put a workshop note on it and have it checked out.

i take it a test drive and get the huge droan of a rear wheelbearing, i tell him this after the test drive and he tells me its because its just had new rear pads, and they make a noise as they touch the disk. again after an argument he agrees to have it checked out.

so we go ahead and put a deposit down on the car and get a phonecall later that afternoon, yes you were correct its having new rear disks and wheelbearings fitted along with new brake pads all round and new front disks.

all very well but what kind of safety check do arnold clark do that MISSES the fact a car needs ALL the brakes changed?!?!?!?

sounds to me like your salesman was talking crap at first, seeing as he said it had already had rear pads, and now its getting pads again, it sounds to me like the car hadnt been into the workshop yet for its check, things like brakes are always replaced if they need doing
 
  Skoda Fabia vRS
a lady in renault parts department told me last week that she had to advise me to fit a brand new o/s drive shaft rather than a reconditioned one because fitting a reconditioned one could set the drivers airbag off!!! wtf. i asked why and she said "i dnt know thats what ive just been told". i laughed and just asked her to order me a reconditioned one

your not supposed to use recon shafts on the 172/182's, it doesnt say why but there is a note on the system saying they should not be used
 
  clio 182 sport
im trying to get a test drive in a 200 cup at reno durham.the salesman rang me today hes called rupert he said hes strugling to get one and said would a test drive in a 197 do. i said ive drove one when they first came out and i wasnt impressed. so wait for it he then says to me if i can get a 200 i need to know if its worth it it might sound forward but if you drive it and like it do you think yuoll buy one damm cheek.
 

Bluebeard

ClioSport Moderator
  Whichever has fuel
im trying to get a test drive in a 200 cup at reno durham.the salesman rang me today hes called rupert he said hes strugling to get one and said would a test drive in a 197 do. i said ive drove one when they first came out and i wasnt impressed. so wait for it he then says to me if i can get a 200 i need to know if its worth it it might sound forward but if you drive it and like it do you think yuoll buy one damm cheek.

Not really. Thats called a sales process! lol.
 
  1.4 Dynamique
im trying to get a test drive in a 200 cup at reno durham.the salesman rang me today hes called rupert he said hes strugling to get one and said would a test drive in a 197 do. i said ive drove one when they first came out and i wasnt impressed. so wait for it he then says to me if i can get a 200 i need to know if its worth it it might sound forward but if you drive it and like it do you think yuoll buy one damm cheek.


im test driving a 197 at the weekend. Not sure if the £1700 insurance is worth it though might hold off a few years. Anychance you can reply to your PM's aswell i have sent several?
 
  3 Series xdrive
When test driving my current 182, was a bit of a noise coming from exhaust (loose bracket at cat pipe) the sales guy was like, "ye listen to that.... great little noise eh? all thes clio sports make that noise, its the dump valve that makes that sound" made me lol
 
Ok so i thought i'd add my wonderful experience, not a dealer, but the car did end up at a dealers due to someones stupidity (and not mine lol). Sorry its a bit of a long one.

So it was time to get the Cup MOTed. The independant garage i normally use was overrun with work and couldnt fit it in so i took it too a garage that had done some work for me previously.

So i dropped the car off on a Friday morning then went off to work pretty confident the car would pass no probs. So about 14.00 that afternoon a phone call.

Garage: Hi there Miss Williams, Its Mike from the garage.
Me: Hi, so how did the car get on?
Garage: It failed on a couple of things. The o/s rear shock has had a serious leak and needs replacing, and the rear brakes are showing little or no effort.
Me: Ok, well go on and replace both rear shocks, and you guys only replaced the brakes all round 2000 miles ago so something is not right there.
Garage: Oh yes we did, i remember now. must be a seized caliper or something. Dont worry Miss Williams as we only replaced the brakes 2000 miles ago we will sort that for you.
Me: Ok, good. Just to check you do know about the rear brakes on my car dont you?
Garage: Yes of course Miss Williams.
Me: Ok good, so what time are we looking at having it all finished?
Garage: Well thats where we have a bit of a problem. As you car is a "special" model we cant get hold of the rear shocks for two weeks.
Me: What, you have got to be kidding me, i could get some tomorrow or Monday at the latest.
Garage: Oh, ok. Well we've got our supplier looking for some for you and we will get back to you later.

So i left them to it and i got busy at work and forgot to ring them back before closed.

So i ring them Saturday morning.

Me: Hello, its Emma Williams. Im ringing about the blue Clio you have in for MOT. How did you get on with sourcing some shocks?
Garage: Not good Miss Williams. Still going to be two weeks.
Me: Right ok, i will source my own shocks. Have you looked at the brakes yet.
Garage: No not yet, it will be easier for us to do all the work at once so if you would like to pick you car up until your shocks are here thats no problem for us and the retest will still be free.
Me: Ok no probs. I'll come get my car now.

So up till now it hadnt been too bad. I could get my owns shocks and save myself some money and i had my car. So a quick call to K-tec and new shocks on their way. Two weeks my ass!!
So the Tuesday my shocks turn up ring up the garage and its booked back in on the Thursday.

So drop the car back off on the Thursday morning. A few hours later the phone rang.

Garage: Hi there Miss Williams, its the garage about your Clio.
Me: Ok good, all done yeh?
Garage: The shocks are all on ok. But we had a look at your brakes and the pads, discs and calipers and they are fine.
Me: Right ok then.
Garage: When we had it up in the air the mechanic noticed part of your braking system must have just fallen off which is why your rear brakes are recording little or no effort.
Me: Right ok, would that be the actuating arm by some chance?
Garage: Yes it is. I was just going to steal the part we needed to get it through the MOT from another Clio we have here but the part is different.
Me: Thats how its supposed to be. Was never connected when it left the Renault factory, and what have you borrowed of my Clio to get other cars through their MOT's?
Garage: I dont think so Miss Williams. Ive never seen a Clio without the arm. And thats not normal practice we was just going to do it for you as we've messed you about a little.
Me: Right ok, if you look on the internet there is an official VOSA article explaining this problem and what to do.
Garage: With all due respect Miss Williams i have been a mechanic for 30 years and i know what im talking about. Without this part your rear brakes wont work.
Me: Right ok i will print off the article and show you. I will be there in five minutes.

So i turn up and he refuses to even read the article and is convinced he's correct. So i demand my keys back which he gave over without a fight tbh.

Took it straight round to a stealers. Oh and surprise surprise it passed first time lol.

I never did get a bill for them replacing the rear shocks. Im guessing that he then read the article i left with him and realised he made himself look that a right donut in front of several customers. Im not sure if its funny or scary that he was going to steal parts from another car just to get mine through the MOT, and that he refered to my car as "special" lol and two weeks to get rear shocks, he must have a rubbish supplier. What a tool (sorry for the essay content)
 
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Addz

ClioSport Club Member
  Trophy, TVR Tamora
I've just put a deposit on a Cooper S Gp.. the saleman told me they had to be de-tuned because they came with over 300bhp and would do 195mph.. right.
 
  320d
I've just put a deposit on a Cooper S Gp.. the saleman told me they had to be de-tuned because they came with over 300bhp and would do 195mph.. right.

I wonder if he actually believed that himself?

Getting back in a MCS then? Had enough of the Vee?
 

Addz

ClioSport Club Member
  Trophy, TVR Tamora
I wonder if he actually believed that himself?

Getting back in a MCS then? Had enough of the Vee?

Yeah want to get into track days so don't really fancie chucking the vee round!
 
  Facelift R53 Cooper S
I've just put a deposit on a Cooper S Gp.. the saleman told me they had to be de-tuned because they came with over 300bhp and would do 195mph.. right.

I really would have considered not buying the car after that comment.
 
  Stripped yozza'd cup
I've just put a deposit on a Cooper S Gp.. the saleman told me they had to be de-tuned because they came with over 300bhp and would do 195mph.. right.

Not only is that not true.... But i defy you to find a car with 300hp that will do 195. lol. What a moron.

I got told by a guy at the honda dealership, when taking a CTR out for a test drive, that I should be careful when driving it as the turbo will kick in a 5,500 rpm..... Righto.
 
  182 Trophy
Whilst picking my car up after having a tracking issue fixed.....

Me: could you tell me how much 4 black centre caps for my 200's speedlines would be please?
Parts: (checks with computer out the back) yeah they are £100!
Me: (now smiling) £100? You know which parts I'm talking about right?
Parts: yes, they are £25 each. Should I order them for you?
Me: (turning to service advisor) can I have my keys please?

£100 for 4 pieces of plastic the size of chocolate coin??? WTF
 
  ford cougar 2.0 16v
We got told by the dealer that we are ripping him off, im sure we were. We werent but we sounded iffy, as we said we need a car today as we are going back to the rock and dont have time.
 
  328, MK1 Clio 1.4
When me and my brother were looking at M3's for him, we went to one Garage owned by two Heavy's.

Brother: Can I take it for a drive then?
Heavy: I need some commitment really.
Brother: Sorry?
Heavy: You can drive it if you are going to buy it.
Brother: If there's a problem you can come with me. If I am happy with it I may well put a deposit down.
Heavy: It's a high performace machine, but obviously I am taking a risk letting you drive it.
Me: How are you supposed to decide if you want a car if you can't drive it? We need to make sure it drives straight, and there are no problems.
Heavy: There is nothing wrong with it.
Me: You know what, you can shove it mate. You may well have just lost out on a big sale there.
Heavy: Don't come back here again will you?!
Me: Believe me, I won't.

Why do people still try to sell cars like that?
 
  1.2 16v
Mine has to be...
Mr Beasley the car you've brought is in perfect condition its passed an MOT with flying colours..
Yet it has no back lights no dash lights the brake shoes had snapped the sun roof was leaking (common i no) and a relay was out under the glove box.
yes mr dealer the car is in perfect condition
 
  Clio GT
i went to Renault Garage in Chorley and they told me that Renault hadnt made a Clio GT and ther was no such thing even tho my car was sat outside and the asked if i had put GT sticker on :s ! x
 

Bluebeard

ClioSport Moderator
  Whichever has fuel
When me and my brother were looking at M3's for him, we went to one Garage owned by two Heavy's.

Brother: Can I take it for a drive then?
Heavy: I need some commitment really.
Brother: Sorry?
Heavy: You can drive it if you are going to buy it.
Brother: If there's a problem you can come with me. If I am happy with it I may well put a deposit down.
Heavy: It's a high performace machine, but obviously I am taking a risk letting you drive it.
Me: How are you supposed to decide if you want a car if you can't drive it? We need to make sure it drives straight, and there are no problems.
Heavy: There is nothing wrong with it.
Me: You know what, you can shove it mate. You may well have just lost out on a big sale there.
Heavy: Don't come back here again will you?!
Me: Believe me, I won't.

Why do people still try to sell cars like that?

I do that.

If i've got an expensive car (or just a fast car) I don't want messers turning up and driving it willy nilly. A) because thats my fuel you're using and B) its just been cleaned and you want to go and get it dirty. I want to know that if they drive it and they like it, they will be putting a deposit on it. The amount of people that kept coming in just to drive the last M3 I had was unreal. When you're selling that sort of stuff, you need to adapt your sales process slightly.

''Can I take it for a drive?''

''The car drives like new. There is nothing wrong with it. Lets say you drive it and you can't fault it, will you leave me with a £500 deposit today?''

''No, i've not done any insurance quotes/spoke to my bank about a loan/had my part exchange valued/asked my wife yet''

''Then no you can't drive it''

(I appreciate you were probably a bit more serious than that, but you get the jist)

Selling higher end stuff is a ball ache.
 
  Disco 5 ,Monaro VXR
When was working for a compnay selling high end stuff we would ask for proof of finance or funds before we let anybody drive the cars ( but i am talking 60k plus cars)

I dont think asking the question is the problem its HOW you ask it

Did you brother get an m3 in the end??
 

Bluebeard

ClioSport Moderator
  Whichever has fuel
When was working for a compnay selling high end stuff we would ask for proof of finance or funds before we let anybody drive the cars ( but i am talking 60k plus cars)

I dont think asking the question is the problem its HOW you ask it

Did you brother get an m3 in the end??

What ever happened to that job?? I never knew you left?!
 
  320d
I do that.

If i've got an expensive car (or just a fast car) I don't want messers turning up and driving it willy nilly. A) because thats my fuel you're using and B) its just been cleaned and you want to go and get it dirty. I want to know that if they drive it and they like it, they will be putting a deposit on it. The amount of people that kept coming in just to drive the last M3 I had was unreal. When you're selling that sort of stuff, you need to adapt your sales process slightly.

''Can I take it for a drive?''

''The car drives like new. There is nothing wrong with it. Lets say you drive it and you can't fault it, will you leave me with a £500 deposit today?''

''No, i've not done any insurance quotes/spoke to my bank about a loan/had my part exchange valued/asked my wife yet''

''Then no you can't drive it''

(I appreciate you were probably a bit more serious than that, but you get the jist)

Selling higher end stuff is a ball ache.

I can understand what your saying, you're not running a free car experience day. However if you were trying to decide between say a M3, RS4 or C63 AMG you'd want to drive them all before deciding, its a decision making process that most people do to find out whether they like a car or not.
 

Rob

ClioSport Moderator
I do that.

If i've got an expensive car (or just a fast car) I don't want messers turning up and driving it willy nilly. A) because thats my fuel you're using and B) its just been cleaned and you want to go and get it dirty. I want to know that if they drive it and they like it, they will be putting a deposit on it. The amount of people that kept coming in just to drive the last M3 I had was unreal. When you're selling that sort of stuff, you need to adapt your sales process slightly.

''Can I take it for a drive?''

''The car drives like new. There is nothing wrong with it. Lets say you drive it and you can't fault it, will you leave me with a £500 deposit today?''

''No, i've not done any insurance quotes/spoke to my bank about a loan/had my part exchange valued/asked my wife yet''

''Then no you can't drive it''

(I appreciate you were probably a bit more serious than that, but you get the jist)

Selling higher end stuff is a ball ache.


Yeah you did that to me with the 172, well it was a bit different, more like: "here's the keys, see ya in a bit.."
 
  Lionel Richie
A good one i had last year was as follows:

Needed a new lambda for one of the murcielagos, no biggie i thought, the boss said just get one from lambo

Me- Hello, i need a new lambda sensor for an 04 plate murcielago
Dealer- £800 (something around that figure)
Me- just for a bosch lambda sensor?
Dealer- Well yes, but it is lamborghini specific sir
Me- is it F1 spec machined Inconnel?
Dealer- erm.......
Me- I'll try elsewhere i think
Dealer- its dealer only
Me - fancy a bet?

at this point i left, back to the workshop, removed the sensor, called maynard off here and gave him the bosch part number.................

Maynard - Yeah mate that number is for a VW Passat, £55+vat
Me - Hahahahahahahahaha
 

Rob

ClioSport Moderator
Superb! Got to love super car's

Maybe owning them isn't as expensive as people like to make out, it's just none of the owners have a clue/the balls to get a part not from a dealer?

(I wish)
 
  Lionel Richie
Superb! Got to love super car's

Maybe owning them isn't as expensive as people like to make out, it's just none of the owners have a clue/the balls to get a part not from a dealer?

(I wish)

A ferrari 360 is cheaper to run than a V6 clio (in terms of parts), no arguement - fact!

genuine brembo discs are cira £125 each, pads are approx £90 (same front and rear pads), cabelt changes are easy etc etc
 

aucky

ClioSport Club Member
I went to look at a 200 today..

''I've got a 182 trophy at the moment''

-'Oh yeah, we had a blue trophy in last month'

Only a minor thing, but the cluelesness continued...
 


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