Funniest Thing You Have Been Told By A Dealer...

[Tom H]

Doesnt get any better with mercedes either... dads car had:

£1,000 worth of work billed for to replace a seal on the rear diff but not carried out and i think legal action was threatened.

Pink screen wash spilt on the old mercedes passangers seat and it was a cloth seat.

A wing mirror glass damaged by them jet washing it with chemicals to close..

And we swore they had not changed the oil filter once and the canister still had dust all over it that showed no sign of being disturbed...

It took a Merceded Benz approved repair centre 3 months to sort it out after it had the front bumper painted... came back with a dent and a scratch/scuff from another car down one side and they bottomed it out getting it off the loloader and smashed the under plastics... then they left masking tape in the paint.. then they broke the door liner removing the dent so it leaked water.. then finally they rushed it and the lacqer went cloudy.. then the area manager got involved and it was all finally sorted FOC.

We had a mondeo that had wheel trims cable tied on, it went for a service they advised the disks and pads were low with measurements yet they had not removed the wheel trims...

Autoglass.. replaced the windscreen on our old merc fitted it wonky.. left shavings trapped and viewable.. and to top it off the vin number is painted on behind the glass they scratched it up so you could not read the vin!! Same again dad had the area managed out to the house and it was sorted they had to get a specialist paint guy in to re do the vin

I got told by 3 dealers i couldnt test drive a 172/182 and couldnt dream of owning or insuring one and basicly got told i was just after a joy ride.... so they lost sales.

Its quite a list to say myself and my dad do most of the stuff on our cars ourself, like my 172's cambelt , engine mounts etc rebuilt the gearbox, front suspension, rear suspension, half the engine etc on the 106 so its very rare our cars are at dealers and it seems when they are they get damaged / poor work done on them.

Im of the opinion not many people take pride in there work on cars these days...

 

[Dan@SJM]

I had a good one the other day ordering some antir roll bar bushes for a 172.

Me: HI there, i'd like to order some anti-roll bar bushes and the clamp brakcts please. gave them the reg etc.

Dealer: Is it for a clio?

Me: yes

D:Erm, all clios have the bolt and bush set up.

M: No they dont, the sport ones due to the wider track have a clamp around the outside of the bush and arb.

D: I assure you they dont have any wider track than your regular clio.

M: Im an ex-renault specialist mechanic, they do have a wider track, Remember the old 19 16v? remember the arb set up they had fitted? well its the same on the wishbones etc.

D: like a 180degree semi circle?

M: Yes.

D: oh, yes thats the ARB Clamp, not bracket as you've described.

FFs, of course i know how renault describes a clamp rather than bracket!

 

[Markyx2cuk]

when i went lookin to buy a 172 cup i went to c one a good 40 miles from my home!! the place was down past Guildford in Surrey at some dealership in some farm. i went down with the misses in her 182 with my 2 mates, 1 owns a Trophy and the other used to own one of the first ever 172 cup cars!!

the guys heart must hav dropped when we pulled up coz the car was a shitter!! he tried to tell us that there was no parcel shelf coz they dont come with one!! when we asked to open the bonnet he was pretty protective about it but when we tried to open it we realised why!! no matter how u pulled the lever it didn't open!! he tells us that it is due to the Renault Bonnet Call Back which was the case with smaller engined models but not the Renault Sport range!!!

when asked to test drive he said only if we was to put a deposit down on the car!!! jog on

needless to say that was not the car i bought

 

[Fred@BTM]

had a shock the other week whilst in Sweden

Me: how much is a new 197

Dealer: 255,000SEK (swedish kronor) thats £20K without options!

 

[holly1_7_2]

i got told that my cup had an m.o.t so what else did i want when i asked about my warranty! also got told that my exhaust was fine it then fell off a week later and that my release bearing was just a stiff clutch this also broke about a month later! i've only had the car 3 months!! avoid stoneacre!!
also the salesman told me that all cups came with climate control and that there were no differences between a ff and a cup! tw@*

 

[Mells]

Renault Minute - Chatham - Wouldnt let me take out a 172ff on a test drive until I signed up for finance with them! ffs!

 

[marky-f1]

w***s

 

[LiquidRich]

i was told by sandicliffe ford once that a focus rs has a 0-60 of 4, yes 4 seconds

 

[Brooky182]

when i rang for a part ex price on the 330 and the guy told me there was no bmw 330 ever made with the gear shift paddels on the steering wheel and i must be wrong

i replied well what the f@ck have i been changing gear with for the last two years then??

are you sure it its just the volume button for your stereo.?

i was in nearly on the floor laughing.

 

[Timmay]

i was told by sandicliffe ford once that a focus rs has a 0-60 of 4, yes 4 seconds

flol!

 

[Rob22]

Me: my emissions light has come on, i'm pretty sure it's just a faulty lambda sensor

Ren: ok we'll look at it for you

phone call 2 hours later- Sir its a petrol fault we will have to drain your tank sort out the light and refill it again

Me: ermm so thats covered under the warranty then?

Ren: your car as an X plate sir so no

Me: it's an 06 just with a private plate (X88 RJH)

Ren: oh right it's not anyway as it's a fuel problem so that will be £365 would you like us to start work on it now?

Me: er no thanks i can't really afford that and i'm pretty sure it's not the fuel thats the problem

Ren: ok well you shouldn't drive your car until you can afford it

Took it to the garage i bought it from (Rogate) very helpful, looked at the car for 30 mins
'Sir its just a faulty lambda sensor and your covered under warranty for the work you can pick your car up in 2 hours'.
Sure enough lambda sensor gets changed, light goes off, i don't spend a penny and it's been perfect ever since

 

[martynrg]

Went looking at a 182 a couple of months back at a used car garage..........

After about 40 minutes of grilling the guy with questions about the car, and me inspecting every inch of the car, I asked (on a reasonably dry day).......

Me: So, is there any chance I can take it out for a quick drive, jus to see how it feels.

Him: Er, er, well, er.......

Me; You can be in with me, don't worry about that.

Him: Er, er, er well you see, erm.....we don't let 'punters' take the cars' out because we don't want them to get dirty!!!


OMG..........DIDN'T WANNA BUY IT ANYWAY!! lol.

 

[nth]

'your front tyres are fine,the engine is really heavy at the front, so thats why they look as if they are low on air'

 

[n2x]

My story wasn't about telling me something utterly crap but was way more funnier. I got to the stealers, had to wait for several hours before receiving my car despite the fact that when i called them, they said it would be ready in 20 mins. So after a long wait i get my keys and get in the car only to find out that my first gear is actually reversing the car :lolup:. I went in again and before i could say anything, i burst out laughing. So another 2 hours of waiting and i got to go home :F. Whole day wasted ftw.

 

[Chris V6 255]

Was asked "where I got the body kit from"!!!!! Was in my standard mk1 172 at the time!
Then............... "Thats never a 2.0L"

God only know's what he would have said if i turned up in the Vee.

 

[cat171]

^
That's why i'll probably never take mine to renault dealer.

 

[Djw John]

Was asked "where I got the body kit from"!!!!! Was in my standard mk1 172 at the time!
Then............... "Thats never a 2.0L"

God only know's what he would have said if i turned up in the Vee.

Same! Apart from the vee bit!

 

[fUbAr]

i was asked if I would be removing the bodykit from the car before I trade it in... this was also a Ph1 172.

Told him the car is standard apart from the exhaust... and he looked suprised. To be fair he was a good bloke, and they rarely see a RenaultSport car in the dealer as the areas full of old people so they don't bother getting them in.

They love it when i take the 182 back in there... heh

 

[Stevie]

Dealer: I guarantee you'll get a girlfriend with this car mate! (Trophy)

must think we are all mugs and guess what... yes I'm still single ladies.

 

[cat171]

^ Pmsl !!

 

[Beef-Mc]

Forgot how funny this thread is!

Anyone got any more to add?

 

[Neal 182]

It's all fixed now

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

 

[suckmykiss]

ill give you 8.5k for ur v6 sir was the best one

 

[scott7912]

Took my first clio FF182 in for warranty work years ago, they asked me for the reg, i told them and they said,
"oh yes a clio S, so is that a 1.2 or 1.4 engine"
I said, "No its a 2ltr"
They replied, "We dont make a 2ltr clio"
I thought it was funny anyway, even when i tried to explain it was a renault clio sport 182, 2ltr, they still didnt seem to understand.
Another funny one was when i took it in for the service light coming on and they assured me it was fixed and they explained what they had 2 do 2 fix it. I then went outside and got in the car, started it up and the service light was still on.
OK renault dealers you know what you doing, NOT!!

 

[ditz]

booked my clio in for immobiliser coding at renault romford, got a phonecall from renault ilford on the day asking where the car was.
the reply to "are you fcuking kidding me" was something to behold

when renault romford did finally get my 1.2 clio in and they opened the bonnet well that just confused matters further

i did get a further 10% off ontop of trade discount and a free carwash after my monumental rant though lol

 

[jazzap]

Me: hello i would like to order a 172/182 RS grille
Parts: thats the 51 dynamique 1?
Me: no it comes on the 172 and 182
Parts: really? *walks off*
Parts: are yes what your registration number please?
Me: kr*****
Parts: so how are you finding the Kangoo?
Me: What?!
Parts: How are you finding your renault kango
Me: I dont have a renault kango?!
Parts: It says here you do
Me: Look out the window m8
Parts: sorry i get the clio and the kangoo mixed up somtimes

- Most of them dont have a clue!

haha

 

[fuel_slut]

''Hello sir would you like to test drive the new 192''

He was refering to a 197 of course!

 

[cg172]

Went to have a look at a C2 GT for a friend who was buying it. I asked the salesman if he would put four matching tyres on it, as opposed to the 4 COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ones that graced the corners. "Why?" he asked me. "So that it's not dangerous" I replied.

He went on to tell us how he ran remoulds on all his cars, and they all handled great...

And my mate still bought the car anyway. Muppet.


Different dealer, when me and my lass were buying our first car:

Me: "When was it last serviced?"
Salesman: "Isn't it weird how spiders always build their webs between the door and the wing-mirror?"
Me: "Ok.... Bye..."
Salesman: "Where are you going? Don't you want to buy it?"

Idiots.

And the classic:

Dealer: "That 172's got a brand new engine in it."
Me: "So it's been ragged then."
Dealer: "No, we just put a new one in as a precaution..."

WHERE DO THESE PEOPLE COME FROM?

 

[cat171]

Some great classics here, keep up the work folks.

 

[theduck]

I had a postcard from ArnoldSharks before my Punto was even a year old saying its first MOT was due and they had pre-booked me an appointment!

 

[scott7912]

Them:- You need ball joints both sides.
Me:- How much.
Them:- £400 fitted.
Me:- WHAT!
Them:- Yes.
Me:- How much do the parts come 2?
Them:- £118.
Me:- So your charging £300 to fit something that should take a qualified mechanic 1 hour?
Them:- It will take 1 day.
Me:- OK, order me the parts and i will fit them my self.

It took 1hr 30mins to fit both suspension arms and ball joints.
£300, tisssss, little man!
Fcuking STEALERS!!!

 

[3doorpete]

4 years ago I had a 3 year old Lotus Elise. I went to the Porsche dealer in Tonbridge to look at Boxter S's wearing jeans, old t-shirt and a couple of day's of stubble. I walked in after parking up in the Elise.

I walk over to a Boxter in the showroom.

Salesman 1 : 1 day if you win the lottery eh mate?

Me : Pardon.

Salesmen 2 hears this and walks over who must have seen me park up : That's a lovely colour Elise - are you thinking of switching to a Porsche?

Salesman 1's face was a picture!! Couldn't believe what an arrogant comment he'd made?!

2nd story is when I bought my 182 - not a dealer, but a full blown row with Elephant insurance when transferring my policy.

Insurance woman : What model is it?

Me : Renault Clio 182 with Cup packs.

Insurancce woman : What are cup packs?

Me : Factory options - lower firmer suspension etc.

Insurance woman : So you modified it - lowered it?

Me : No

Insurance woman : Is it a coil over conversion or a strut brace you've done.

Me : I've not done anything - it's a factory option.

Insurance woman : We have to class it as modified as it's not standard on a 182. I'll need to refer it to the underwriter.

Me : Metallic paint is not standard either. Would that be classed as modified?

Insurance woman : No - that's just an optional extra.

Me : So are the cup packs.....



This went around in circle for a bit, before she classed it as "factory fitted sports suspension", but still says she would have to list it as a modification which I wouldn't get my money back for in the event of a claim?!?!?! I didn't even bother to go into the cup spoiler pack!!!

In fairness, I don't usually go near dealers when buying cars, but I've heard more b*llsh*t spouted by private sellers than I've ever heard from dealers.

 

[Davey182]

^ I had that EXACT same problem with elephant... Even more worrying when they said that the 182 had 15" wheels as standard so mine must be modified... I must have been on the phone to them for over an hour explaining that the cup packs were not modifications.

No surprise I changed insurers.

 

[DebV6]

4 years ago I had a 3 year old Lotus Elise. I went to the Porsche dealer in Tonbridge to look at Boxter S's wearing jeans, old t-shirt and a couple of day's of stubble. I walked in after parking up in the Elise.

I walk over to a Boxter in the showroom.

Salesman 1 : 1 day if you win the lottery eh mate?

Me : Pardon.

Salesmen 2 hears this and walks over who must have seen me park up : That's a lovely colour Elise - are you thinking of switching to a Porsche?

Salesman 1's face was a picture!! Couldn't believe what an arrogant comment he'd made?!

2nd story is when I bought my 182 - not a dealer, but a full blown row with Elephant insurance when transferring my policy.

Insurance woman : What model is it?

Me : Renault Clio 182 with Cup packs.

Insurancce woman : What are cup packs?

Me : Factory options - lower firmer suspension etc.

Insurance woman : So you modified it - lowered it?

Me : No

Insurance woman : Is it a coil over conversion or a strut brace you've done.

Me : I've not done anything - it's a factory option.

Insurance woman : We have to class it as modified as it's not standard on a 182. I'll need to refer it to the underwriter.

Me : Metallic paint is not standard either. Would that be classed as modified?

Insurance woman : No - that's just an optional extra.

Me : So are the cup packs.....



This went around in circle for a bit, before she classed it as "factory fitted sports suspension", but still says she would have to list it as a modification which I wouldn't get my money back for in the event of a claim?!?!?! I didn't even bother to go into the cup spoiler pack!!!

In fairness, I don't usually go near dealers when buying cars, but I've heard more b*llsh*t spouted by private sellers than I've ever heard from dealers.

I had almost the exact conversation with Elephant about the cup packs.

 

[AndyT23]

Elephant are robbing BarStewards anyway!!

When someone drove into the back of my Astra SRi and wrote it off I went throughh all the usual hassles and troubles of making a claim, telling them to piss off when they quoted a ridiculous settlement figure etc.

The thing that annoyed me most was when the cheque arrived and it's £400 short. So I get straight on the phone to ask why

Me: I've just received my settlement cheque and it's £400 short
Elephant numpty: Can I have your details
Me: Yep (reels em off)
Elephant numpty: Ah yes, the £400 is your policy excess
Me: And why exactly have you taken my excess?
Elephant numpty: We always take the excess
Me: WHAT?!! But my claim is a no fault claim, whatever i'm paid the Elephant legal team are claiming back from the 'at fault' driver. So it doesn't affect my no claims bonus or my excess, that's what was agreed
Elephant numpty: No we always take the excess out of the settlement figure
Me: I don't think so, can I speak to your supervisor
Elephant numpty: I'll just get him on the line
Supervisor: Hello sir what's the problem
Me: Elephant skimming £400 off my settlement figure that's what, why am I having to pay my excess if the claim is going to be recovered from the other party's policy
Supervisor: Ah.... very sorry, there'll be a cheque for the remaining amount in this post this afternoon.

I wonder how many people fall for that trick and take the first word as gospel?!

 

[DrR]

To be honest i wouldn't even think of telling the insurance company my car had cup packs.

 

[Wizbit]

Great thread... here's some that I can think of...

Reanult Nottingham - I had snapped an off-side front spring on my Williams2 so I went to the parts department to get a replacement. When I told them what I wanted they said that the Williams can have various types of spring fitted. News to me, I thought, so I asked him how to find out which one I had and apparently there are some painted stripes on the coil itself. Unfortunately these are at the top and only visible when you take the spring off - which of course they offered to do for me... Just went to an independent garage in the end.

Honda in Derby - Many moons ago, I enquired about a Honda Integra Type-R they had for sale. Was told that they didn't do test drives on that model and everyone bought one without driving it first. Righto...

 

[AndyT23]

DrRollo. Trouble is they'll use any excuse to get some money out of you, my SRi had a few vauxhall options and because they were on it from new I hadn't declared them. I had to pay an additional 'admin' fee to add them to my policy prior to the claim being processed.

Was to do with the fact my car had to be assessed by a Norwich union assessor after the Elephant one because of everything coming off the policy of the 'at fault' driver and not mine. All the info had to add up so Elephants legal peeps could claim back the settlement they'd paid me.

That's how I understood it anyway.

 

[davebem]

Ive got another Renault Leicester one. Was looking at Clio 1.2s when a Renaultsport spider pulls up in the carpark and a salesman points at it and goes "what the hell is that". More annoyingly the saleman at ceder motors refers to my 172mk1 as "your 182 thing".

 

[rojer386]

When my Trophy went in for a cat back exhaust to be changed under warrenty, I was in the workshop ensuring the mechanic didn't fcuk it up. He said:

Ren: Nice colour this wee Clio.

Me: Yeah, I do love it, looks great when clean.

Ren: I noticed when I drove the car into the workshop that you had changed the seats, how much did they cost?

Me: No I haven't! They are standard in all Clio Trophys.

Ren: Clio what?

Me: Clio Trophys. Ltd Edtn RS Clio. Only 500 made.

Ren: I was wondering why you had a ''random'' numbered plaque on the seat runner!

Me: Any chance you could hurry up and get that finished???


Doesn't get much better with Honda parts department. Ordered some silicone grease to treat all the seals where the roof meets the car. Girl on the parts desk asked me why I need to do that. Explained it stops squeeks etc. ''My roof doesn't squeek'' she said. I said ''you have an S2000 also'' ''No. Ford KA''

LOL!