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Funniest Thing You Have Been Told By A Dealer...



Iridium

Honorary Member
ClioSport Club Member
  Former R27 & Mk1 V6 owner
This thread rules :) Although I can't help but thinking that some are a bit made up to get a laugh hehe! Not that I'm complaining - everyone likes a smile :)
 
  renaultsport clio 182
when i bought my 182 (harratts wakefield) i said to the salesman i think i will check to see if its got locking wheel nuts on his reply was dont bother mate it will take you ages to take all the allen key studs off the wheel nut cover,i said yea whatever mate...(baboon).
 
this thread is brillian and im a dealer lol, luckily the 3 of us who run the dealers are ex mechanics and all still active in rallying which our service department keep forgetting when they try to bullsh*t us, they same as most garages it just a job to them and got no interests in cars etc. But on a positive note Lookers Renault in Chester has an excellent parts man who you tell him what you want or try describing the part and where it is and he knows what you are talking about and doesnt need to know the reg or vin, wish there was more people like him about as buying parts wouldnt be a hassle.

The parts guy at the one in Kirkcaldy is like that! :)
 
  1998 BMW e46 323i
Again, not a dealer, but Kwik Fit St Helens. Near my work, so I popped in needing my tyres rotating. The front just wouldn't balance properly, and I'd had them balanced the day before by kwik fit. So I asked if they could rotate the tyres. I explained again, I wanted my tyres rotated, front on the back etc... I had my receipt, the balancing hadn't worked, my wheels must be buckled or whatever. The guy was looking at me like I'd asked him to sell me his Nan! He finally grasped what I was asking, told me it would take an hour or two, could I leave it with them... The place was empty. I said it would take 10 mins... I just left. Mumbling fecking w@nker under my breath as I left. I was surprised, I'm not an aggressive person, but I almost shouted at him. I knew he just couldn't be bothered, and could feel myself getting worked up.
 
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  Mental 172 Cup
mine isnt a dealer either but a phonecall to europarts!

Me:Hello mate im after some bits for a 2001 renault clio dynamique 1.2
europarts: ok sir, what are you after?
Me: urm, clutch, flywheel and front wheel bearing!
europarts: ok sir the clutch will be £41 + VAT and the wheel bearing will be £31+VAT ill just check on the flywheel for you now.

Waits bout 30seconds

europarts:Hello sir, are you sure your car has a flywheel?
Me:urm im pretty sure it does
europarts: im sorry sir i dont stock that part here!
Me: ok thanks bye!

FLOL!
 
  VW Caddy Van
Tbh any dealers when they get performance cars in will rag them. 2 Mechanics in my work took a brand new 207 GTi 175 and an Astra VXR that was sold out onto the motorway and raced them. Also as a valeter we have fun with the cars too, theirs not really a navara or a 350z sold thro my work that a mechanic or one of the guys i work with hasn't drifted or ragged and slid about.

I can assure u i aint one of them as i treat peoples cars like my own, but it happens everyday in my work between the 2 garages and the valet shop. I wouldn't buy an ex demo through my work either it'll have had it's arse ragged out from new and from cold.

On the not of funny stories

In 2006 i bought an 04 Fiat Stilo, still under warranty as was only a year and a bit old

Took it to the dealers (now Arnold Clark in Springburn was Reg Vardy) as the driveshaft seals had burst.

Knew they would be covered under warranty but the mentally retarded woman behind the desk was adament they would need to diagnose the problem themselves besides my mechanic telling me wat to tell them. Also told me warranty wouldn't cover it and i'd have to pay xx amount for diagnostics and then the parts.

Argued with her for literally an hour to get her to phone the warranty company to confirm they would cover all costs. Her face was a picture when i left smiling as i had won the arguement.

Went bak in a few weeks later and she'd quit the job, apparently i was one of the reasons. Wasn't the first time i'd argued with her
 
  ph1 172
i picked a car up from a dealer for my dad and they rightly wouldnt let me take it. They had to call him to check and they wanted to see ID from me.

The woman informed me that 2 months previously somebody had handed over the keys to a customers brand new Range Rover that had been in for wananty work, no questions asked.

The car was never to be seen again!
 
C

Clio1.6Rxe

In reply to the guy who thought dealers should know what size tyres you have, How does he/she know if you do or dont have aftermarket wheels on?


...Self ownage imo
 
this thread is brillian and im a dealer lol, luckily the 3 of us who run the dealers are ex mechanics and all still active in rallying which our service department keep forgetting when they try to bullsh*t us, they same as most garages it just a job to them and got no interests in cars etc. But on a positive note Lookers Renault in Chester has an excellent parts man who you tell him what you want or try describing the part and where it is and he knows what you are talking about and doesnt need to know the reg or vin, wish there was more people like him about as buying parts wouldnt be a hassle.

The parts guy at the one in Kirkcaldy is like that! :)


Couldn't agree more, boy's always been spot on with my vague descriptions of parts :approve:
 
  Clio 200 Cup
Took my girlfriends fiat punto into the stealers (mangoletsi near knutsford) to have a power steering fault looked at.

We were told that the clutch was faulty and that this was causing the fault with the power steering. I asked them to explain how the condition of the clutch could influence the behaviour of the power steering. They didnt seem to have an answer.

F**king tools.

I blame my girlfriend for buying a fiat.
 
Some classics in here, I could start a thread though on 'the funniest thing you have ever been told by a customer!'
D:'Both your front tyres are down to the canvas Mr..... "
C: "they should be covered under warranty, can you replace them"
D "No they are a wear and tear item"
C "This is atrocious im writing to head office etc"

Or my favourite, customer rings up with a 53 plate clio..
C "I would like to book my car in for a service?"
D "Do you know which one is due"
C "I haven't had it serviced yet I thought it was every 4 yrs?!"
D"2yrs or 18,000 on that one, have you had it MOT'd?"
C "No I didn't think new cars had to be MOT'd"!

I have no idea how she had taxed it!
 

Haybails1980

ClioSport Club Member
When I got my 182 the used car salesman at Renault told me it had both cup packs. When I asked what the cup packs were he told me "it's basically everything".

Thank goodness for signing up on here and getting some sense!
 
  E30 318iS x2
'The new twingo uses the original twingo chassis not the old shape clios' :quiet:

Made me giggle.
 
  Yozza'd Titanium 182
my GF wants a ford KA 1.6 went to look at one, 52 reg 45000 miles and he goes....

yeh ur looking at around about 9 - 10 grand
 

Addz

ClioSport Club Member
  Trophy, TVR Tamora
following alexS's stupid customer comment...

a oldish bloke came into the autospares where i work and asked me for a headlight for a pug 306, knowing how dumb customers can be i asked if he actually wanted the whole headlight or just the bulb..
he looked at me with a blank expression and asked what i meant.. so i said do you want the little bulb which lights up for £4 or a whole headlight for £40ish.
again he looks at me and says sorry i'm not following you.. my headlight isnt working i just need a new one!
so i went to the shelf and fetched a bulb and showed it him and said right this is the bulb.. if you want a bulb its £4 or a whole headlight its £40 something...
he just looks very confused and says umm i think i'll go and look at my handbook.. he then wanders to the door and stands there looking at it expecting it to open when they arnt automatic and he pushed it to open it on the way in!

tools all of them..:rolleyes:
 

Steve

ClioSport Club Member
  ST3 8.5
A 197 Cup fully loaded sitting at stealers, returned because female owner couldn't get on with it.


I'll give you £X for it, no was the answer it will be sold in the next couple of days!

3 weeks later it's still unsold;)
 
I was told that there was a special edition of the megane R26 coming out and it was going to be a mid engined twin turbo v6....

Also when talking about the R27 he thought I was talking about the Renault F1 car....
 
  Elise S1 B&C 140
I was told that there was a special edition of the megane R26 coming out and it was going to be a mid engined twin turbo v6....

Also when talking about the R27 he thought I was talking about the Renault F1 car....


ha ha i can imagine how that went,

you: hi id like to buy the renault r27 please
dealer: ok sir ill place that on order now, thats £1,600,000 please

lol
 
  172 Cup
At Fiat with my old Punto GT, the guy at the counter looks out at my car:

D: you have a sporting
Me: No its a GT
D:looks like a sporting
Me: it a 1.4 GT Turbo.
D: they didnt make a turbo, sure its not a 1.6 Sporting
Me: come outside and ill show you.

so we go out side i start it up and give it a rev, dump valve blows

D: That dont sound right, should get that looked at.
Me: FFS Its a dump valve, just put the Reg into the system an you'll see what model it is.
D: Oh a 98 Fiat Punto GT Turbo.
Me: yeah a 1.4!

believe me that was only the beggining of my Fiat troubles lol.
 

Gally

Formerly Mashed up egg in a cup
ClioSport Club Member
At Fiat with my old Punto GT, the guy at the counter looks out at my car:

D: you have a sporting
Me: No its a GT
D:looks like a sporting
Me: it a 1.4 GT Turbo.
D: they didnt make a turbo, sure its not a 1.6 Sporting
Me: come outside and ill show you.

so we go out side i start it up and give it a rev, dump valve blows

D: That dont sound right, should get that looked at.
Me: FFS Its a dump valve, just put the Reg into the system an you'll see what model it is.
D: Oh a 98 Fiat Punto GT Turbo.
Me: yeah a 1.4!

believe me that was only the beggining of my Fiat troubles lol.

Fix It Again Today.
Fix It Again Tommorrow.
 
  Golf
Being told me car was fine when it wasnt, It had a intermitent starting problem. told is next time it didnt start to take it to the garage so the could have a look :S

In the end the kept it 3 weeks and replaced all the wiring under warranty, still had bother and fixed it by replacing me battery thanks to the advice from CS
 
  Racing Blue 182
OK, old thread, but just came across it!

Subaru Dealership Parts Dept. when taking my Legacy 3.0R Spec.B for a service - Mechanic said it was an Import, I disagreed and informed him I bought it from a Subaru Dealer, he still wouldn't have it - to the point of raised voices. He only conceded after I gestured him over to the Spec.B that was in his own showroom. And he didn't mean import as in 'Made in Japan' either!

Needless to say, my trust in the guy to do a decent job on my car was extinct immediately.
 

Sir_Dave

ClioSport Trader
My girlfriend took her TT into Audi the other day for a service, went to pay and saw that they had replaced one of the Zenon bulbs at £135. The conversation went like this:

Sarah: Why have you replaced my bulb, theres nothing wrong with it.
Service monkey: ah yes, the filament was wearing and needed replacing.
Sarah: xenons dont have a filament, im not paying
Monkey: yes you are we replaced it
Sarah: get your manager

Monkey: ill go get the boss then
Manager: your filaments gone, we replaced, you pay
Sarah: they dont have a filament
Dave: ill go get the Audi workshop diagrams
Manager: oh (s**t)
Dave: you see, using your own workshop manuals, they dont have a filament, you fail
Manager: oh, maybe your right
Monkey: doh
Sarah: refund please ... oh and your valleters have destroyed my freshly pc'd paintwork despite me asking you not to clean it!!! ... (another story)

Moral of story, just because you pay twice as much, doesnt mean they have twice the knowledge ...
 
  1998 BMW e46 323i
i asked arnold clark to fit me 2 new tyres they had in stock. Said i'd need it done in 45 mins, cos i had to work. Books it in, comes back and says there's no way he could have it done in time! Drove round the back and all the mechanics were doin sweet f.a. I could do it myself in less than 20 mins if i had the gear. Knobs.
 
  1998 BMW e46 323i
and i was told they couldn't change my bonnet catch until it failed! When i was dead on the side of the m'way i said and walked out. Ren UK sorted it in the end. Funkin knobs. Steer clear of main dealers.
 
  Nike Lunar Elite's
Me: I'd like to book my car in to have the bonnet catch sorted as per the recall.
Renault: Of course, that will be £1258.43!
 
  Renault Clio S
Call number 1
Me: Hi, can I speak to someone in mechanical repairs please.
Renault Customers Services: Sure, I’ll put you through now.
Renault Parts Dept: Hello, parts!
Me: Er, I was being transferred to mechanical repairs?
Renault Parts Dept: Sorry, you’ll have to call Customers Services; we can’t put you through direct.
Me: oh, thanks.

Call number 2
Me: Hi, can I speak to someone in mechanical repairs please.
Renault Customers Services: Sure, I’ll put you through now.
Renault Parts Dept: Hello, parts!
Me: Ar, you again. I was being transferred to mechanical repairs?
Renault Parts Dept: Oh, well you’ll have to call Customers Services again I’m afraid; we can’t put you through direct.

Call number 3
Me: Hi, I want to speak to someone in mechanical repairs, BUT YOU KEEP PUTTING ME THROUGH TO PARTS!
Renault Customers Services: Oh, well I’ll put you through now.
Renault Parts Dept: Hello, parts!
Me: FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST!
Renault Parts Dept: Oh it’s you again. Can I take your number and I’ll get someone to call you back.

Call number 4
Me: Hello?
Renault Mechanical Repairs: I understand you would like a quote?
Me: Yes, how much to replace an electric window motor and relay system on a MK2 PH1 Clio, driver-side please?
Renault Mechanical Repairs: We can’t provide a quote I’m afraid as we don’t know what the problem is!
Me: I’ve just told you what the problem is
Renault Mechanical Repairs: Oh, around £350 then
Me: Around?
Renault Mechanical Repairs: Yes, around 350?

JEEEESSSSSUUUUUSSSSSS!
 
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  Clio 200 Cup
These storys vary from funny to outrageous to scary. I think the moral is that if you can find a good local independant garage then stick to them - they often survive on having a good reputation.

I'd actually think twice about purchasing a car that had a "Full Main Dealer Service History" over one that had been serviced regularly by an independant. Am I being silly?
 
  ph2 iceburg 172
got a new one yesterday haha!
i went up to the renualt garage near me for a noisey to see if they had any 172/182 in then at the side there was a 172 cup sitting there so i aproached one of the salesmen to ask if it was for sale, he said nah its one of the employees cars:( so i was asking about the cars in general then hit him with "how much am i looking at roughly for a 172?" the the funny part "well..... ur not gunna get much change out of £8000/£9000!"
 

ripp

ClioSport Club Member
  182 FFAT
the day I saw my 182 for the first time at the dealer:
asked the guy there to turn on the engine to have a listen..

him:
(revving the engine) hear that? it's the turbo charger

I remained quiet :))
 
  Better than yours. C*nt.
Sorry, those aren't the standard wheels so the locking wheel nuts will be different.

On a standard Mk5 Golf GTI Pirelli.
 
  Turbo LY R27
the day I saw my 182 for the first time at the dealer:
asked the guy there to turn on the engine to have a listen..

him:
(revving the engine) hear that? it's the turbo charger

I remained quiet :))

If that would of been me i think a single tear would roll down my cheek as i try my hardest to contain my laughter!

Classic comment.
 
  Renaultsport 200
Went into Renault as my Engine Management Light was coming on my 197

Her "Can you explain what is happening please in your own words?"

Me "Yes the Engine Management Light is coming......."

She buts in at this point

Her "In your own words please, actually can you point the light out on this card"


When I had a 206 GTi the wiper linkage went. I spoke to service desk man no1 who said they would have to order the part from France. "Ok" I said, no problem. I had to leave the car with them as it was dangerous to drive if it rained.

1 week later I phoned to ask them why they hadnt called me about my car, and what was going on. The guy on the phone told me that the factory in GERMANY was having supply problems.


Before I got the 197 I went to test drive a corsa VXR (thank the lord I didnt buy it, it was sh1t). Anyway, when we got back to the dealer and started talking numbers, as you do he proceeded to tell me that the corsa would cost me £475 a month. I made a rather rapid escape after telling him I could probably get a porsche for that.


And not really a dealer story but car related. I went to the MPH car show in Birmingham. I spotted a woman eagerly making sure kiddies didnt go near her shiney new American Roadster crap. I didnt even recognise the car tbh. Anyway, when I looked at it it was covered in swirl marks, and I mean covered. I asked her who washed this to which she replied proudly in a foreign accent "me". I proceeded to tell her she had made a bit of a mess because "look at all this" pointing to the swirl marks. She said "no no, you see it looks like that because It isnt just a show car, I drive it outside"
I didnt have the heart to tell her she has brillo padded her car when washing.
 
  Renaultsport 200
Oh and ive just remembered, I called RUK about the kangaroo thing in my R27.

He didnt know what an R27 was!!!
 


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