Cookie's (wife's) new Nissan Juke

[Cookie]

Behold it's creepy glory

Has a g meter, because Godzilla

Testing out the bluetooth streaming with appropriate tunes

115 bhps!
Arrived today with 196 miles on the clock (grey top had driven it down from the dealer in Telford). It's a flat white 1.2 DiG-T, trim is acenta premium (which has just changed trim names, so I think it corresponds to n-connecta, or bo selecta, one of those)
It has many features, such as sat nav that probably functions, a g meter, a turbo noises, 1 third the power of my M3 and a large boot.
Also has a reversing camera so she can look backwards as she destroys my bumper. I've not even driven it yet, she makes growling noises at me when I say I'm taking it for a spin. I have however sat and worked out all the functions so that she doesn't have to

You can tell how excited I am at having to keep a white car clean.

My first impressions from the passenger seat are that it actually has compliant suspension and can handle bumps, and it's quite high up for a normal car. I don't mind the looks, but then I dress like a mong. The stop start works, but my wife doesn't notice that the engine is off. I'm looking forward to driving the M3 back to back with it, and probably crashing
f**king slow as s**t though.

 

[Goodj]

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

 

[Cookie]

Oh and because I'll get asked, I think she's paying £158 a month for it, 10k pcm, 2 year lease through G2L (finance company is Arval)
Leasing is still the devil, but I'm not paying for this one so....

 

[fairm010]

D-Mode. Whats that then eh?

 

[Daz.]

I think they're nice to drive, dog slow as you say but a nice place to be.

 

[Cookie]

D-Mode. Whats that then eh?

You can swap between normal, sport and eco. I think they are all slow.
Tbh @Daz. the one we test drive was perfectly pleasant to drive, I just don't really drive normal people cars that often so I struggle to be interested with them

 

[Daz.]

Built in tunes by the look of it

 

[ForceIndia]

You can swap between normal, sport and eco. I think they are all slow.
Tbh @Daz. the one we test drive was perfectly pleasant to drive, I just don't really drive normal people cars that often so I struggle to be interested with them

It affects how guilty you feel while traveling slowly.

 

[TheEvilGiraffe]

D-Mode. Whats that then eh?

When Mrs Cookie wants the D .. she presses that and Cookie's phone beeps, thus alerting him to the situation.

 

[Cookie]

When Mrs Cookie wants the D .. she presses that and Cookie's phone beeps, thus alerting him to the situation.

I just sit and I wait for the beeps
Apparently the eco mode scores you! I'm aiming for zero.

 

[fairm010]

Whats the lowest MPG you reckon you can get out of it?

 

[Sir_Dave]

Please clean your neighbours car.

 

[fairm010]

Please clean your neighbours car.

I was just about to say that 😂

 

[mace¬]

Hate it when you see a thread title that only displays the first couple of words and then you are disappointed of content when you open it up.

 

[Daz.]

Oh I couldn't live with one daily - noooooo no no no.
I wouldn't even let the wife have one as I'd end up driving it on 'family outings'

But as a car to get me home - it was nice to drive

 

[JP83]

I quite like the Jukes. Especially the R edition. Well played.

 

[Cookie]

Please clean your neighbours car.

It hasn't moved since we moved in July 2014, it's been sat there longer than that. My neighbours are weird. Car doesn't run, she won't fix it as she has an i10, so it sits there. I'm not cleaning it though, it's bad enough I mow her front garden for her.

 

[Cookie]

Whats the lowest MPG you reckon you can get out of it?

25

 

[mace¬]

it's bad enough I mow her front garden for her.

You are using all the right words in this thread and delivering nothing.

 

[Goodj]

You are using all the right words in this thread and delivering nothing.

I suspect he's forgotten where he's posting and, thus, is just setting up all the lines without thought for the consequences

 

[Cookie]

I suspect he's forgotten where he's posting and, thus, is just setting up all the lines without thought for the consequences

Intentional, I just don't care
The neighbour isn't attractive, Mace

 

[Sir_Dave]

It hasn't moved since we moved in July 2014, it's been sat there longer than that. My neighbours are weird. Car doesn't run, she won't fix it as she has an i10, so it sits there. I'm not cleaning it though, it's bad enough I mow her front garden for her.

I couldn't face that every single day lol.
I'd have to either clean it or offer to buy it off her to move it!! Its devaluing your property FFS 😂
Perhaps your lawnmower could catch fire next to it next time you mow the lawn?

 

[Goodj]

Please clean your neighbours car.

I just thought that is the condition cars come in if they're not detailed with gaybars and double-entry polishing every 3 days....5 if a thread is made about it

Devaluing your property

Essex

 

[Sir_Dave]

Essex

Oh. Maybe just put the M3 on axle stands (again) and park a caravan on the drive to complete the look?

 

[Cookie]

Oh. Maybe just put the M3 on axle stands (again) and park a caravan on the drive to complete the look?

Half way there

 

[Goodj]

Oh. Maybe just put the M3 on axle stands (again) and park a caravan on the drive to complete the look?

Ideally it shouldn't be left on hard-standing either.
kick a window out and leave it on bricks on the grass....preferably the grass should be patchy at best and mostly mud.

 

[cat171]

Clio needs setting on fire. How the fook anyone can leave something like that is beyond me!

 

[Goodj]

You do, of course, appreciate how some people don't have such an anal mindset for their vehicles.

As strange as it may sound, some people just put petrol in them and drive them to places they need to go.

That's right, they haven't even thought about doing something simple, like silvervisions. Madness, I know. I know.

 

[Cookie]

You do, of course, appreciate how some people don't have such an anal mindset for their vehicles.

As strange as it may sound, some people just put petrol in them and drive them to places they need to go.

That's right, they haven't even thought about doing something simple, like silvervisions. Madness, I know. I know.

I see you've met my wife

 

[Sir_Dave]

As strange as it may sound, some people just put petrol in them and drive them to places they need to go.

Seems they don't use it to get from A to B though, so maybe just put petrol on it? Then light a match ...

 

[Cub.]

Based on my experience, "D-mode" is engaged when the driver wants to try to drive like someone with half a brain.

I'd say "D-mode" is rarely used in 99 % of the gashguys I've seen on the road.

Never mind Cookster, at least it works.

 

[cat171]

You do, of course, appreciate how some people don't have such an anal mindset for their vehicles.

As strange as it may sound, some people just put petrol in them and drive them to places they need to go.

That's right, they haven't even thought about doing something simple, like silvervisions. Madness, I know. I know.

It doesn't matter, there's no way she can look out of her window see that mess looking back her & think 'yeah the Clio's looking good today' I bet she looks like sh*t & her house does too!

Sorry for the OT.

 

[Cookie]

Based on my experience, "D-mode" is engaged when the driver wants to try to drive like someone with half a brain.

I'd say "D-mode" is rarely used in 99 % of the gashguys I've seen on the road.

Never mind Cookster, at least it works.

I'm never driving it in whatever normal or eco modes are, I don't see the point. Why not have all the power all the time?

 

[Goodj]

Why not have all the power all the time?

Like a 'fun'-size Mars bar.
Either you have the entire, meagre amount all in one go.
Or you meter it out over a few bites and feel just as unsatisfied.....but it took longer.....


...hang on, that's a familiar story.

 

[Ben.Block]

I'm never driving it in whatever normal or eco modes are, I don't see the point. Why not have all the power all the time?

Eco mode will stop planet earth from melting.

 

[Cookie]

Drove it today. Ugh. I don't like normal people cars.

 

[Goodj]

There's nothing normal about a Juke.

 

[Ian_182]

It will be good a what it does and that's a-b driving.
Personally I like them and my wife would have one in a heartbeat.

 

[Cookie]

There is no steering reach adjust. Feel like I'm being crippled every time I drive it. Awesome!

 

[Ray Gin]

I hope you have a pair of white moonboots to wear whilst driving.