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Does anyone else get talking to these utter drivellers.



  182 FF sport clio RB
lol The amount of people I meet randomly who try to tell me rubbish, 2 examples here, 1st is a guy in a petrol station.

Him: Is that a 182? (This is racing blue btw)
me: yea it is
Him: Nice I've got a silver 172
me: cool
him I've recently just had it off the dyno actually running at 208 BHP
me: Niceeee! What you had done to it.
him: a piper cross air filter, miltek exhaust system and a remap.
me: Is that it?
him: yea remaps on these engines see people past 200BHP
me: Right, that's insane. I've got a yozza on mine, so you telling me I just need a air filter and remap to see past 200BHP?
him: yea
me: Cool, at which point I left thinking to myself..... Wow how can you lie like that to some ones face!

Another situation today at work, EXACTLY the same actually

Me: is that a Miltek exhaust you've got
him: Yea it is, just got this car off my sons mate and its running at 201 BHP
me: Blimey, What you had done to it?
him: 1 of them big air filter things and a remap (exhaust too obviously)
me: rightttttttt...
him: Was a bargain actually only paid £2000 for it

He's got a black gold 182 (complete dog actually) paid £2000 for it pretty awful condition and massively curbed alloys, no cambelt done with 0 service history and told me he can't stop putting his foot down.

Then tried telling me it's a bargain lol. The only decent thing about it was the mileage (70k which is ok to be fair)

Many more situations like these ones too..

Is it just me or does anyone else get these complete drivellers try to tell you something that just isn't true?
 
  Nissan 350Z
Its not just you.

In my experience, most people I encounter are pathological liars. They lie so much they don't even know they're doing it.

Move on and get on with your life. Its just not worth even giving people like this time of day. It is infuriating though, knowing how many people are basically dishonest.

I'm pretty sure the seller of my car had plenty to hide judging by the number of bills I've had in such a short space of time.
 

TheEvilGiraffe

South East - Essex
ClioSport Area Rep
You can make a dyno over-enthuse the results.

Also people believe what they are told...

I could sell my car saying it's got 250hp as it's been remapped, and you wouldn't know without taking it to a rolling road. If you didn't go and check, you'd never know, so you'd tell your mates you'd bought a 250hp car.
 
  2007 clio dynamique
I was in wilco motorsave today , just went in to pick up an airfreshner i got looking at the car cleanin stuff, next the employee is asking me what i was after during the conversation he told me clay barring my car would remove the scratches and then the 25 quid electric buffer was AMAZING value for money when i said " but its never going to give results like a proper da " he replied yes its just as good and does the same job at that point i left lol
 

Michaelfoz

ClioSport Club Member
  Ph1 oddy, e91 325d
boy that i work beside.
holy f**k the stories he has told me. i'll give you a couple of his best:

1. If you decat a car putting a k&n panel filter on it will fix this. Thus allowing it to pass an mot.
2. he was explaining what his pans were for the evening. said he was going to change the clutch on a car.
i replied "In one night!!"
Him. Yeah it my mates evo 9
I just went a long with it then spoke about the horrendous turbo lag that they showed you on top gear once.
He said he fixed that by fitting a turbo to each cylinder...... wtf srsly??!!
3. he speaks fluent arabic

many many more. It makes the day so long
 
  182 FF sport clio RB
Jay, so do I lol. yeaaa that is a classic situation glowworm although I'm quite shocked you wasn't being told that useful information in halfords!
 
  Clio k4j - Clio 200T
a guy at the gas stations (is maybe the preferred place for that kind of people?) after looking at my car said that he previously owned a oper corsa opc (the 1.6turbo) which used to pass 260kph in 6th gear

I just make a little laugh smiling, and drove away...
 

DaveDreads

aka Philomena Cunk aka Barry Shitpeas
ClioSport Club Member
  172, Golf PD130
I want a turbo fitted to each of my cylinders now, i'll probably get over 600bhp and make a fortune on ebay when I sell it!!! :S
 
  Clio k4j - Clio 200T
I just went a long with it then spoke about the horrendous turbo lag that they showed you on top gear once.
He said he fixed that by fitting a turbo to each cylinder...... wtf srsly??!!
:) that's a cool approach at the problem.. specially if you think things like that a turbine needs 3 cylinders for a constant flow.. and XD that with 4 turbines you need to fill 4 times the volume so is a good way to have the worst turbolag ever! ahhahaha (other than it cannt work)
 
  172
I refrain from sharing this experience with CS any longer. An independant car dealer had this to say during a test drive (182 cup). There are literally too many to name, but the highlights include:


Buyer: "is there any difference between the 182 and 182 cup engines?"
Him: "Completely different mate. Aggressive cams, different ECU, different throttle bodies, different manifold, better airbox"
My brain: All of that and it gained/lost precisely 0 PS.

Buyer: "It's a shame about the melted steering wheel on such a nice condition car"
Him: "Interesting comment, it's a common misconception actually. It's just a leopard skin texture standard from the factory, I don't know why they do it tbh?"
My brain: FLOL. CS would have just broken if they heard this.

Buyer: "Sorry to ask as I've only standard 182s with the cup packs added, is that plaque above the air con standard?"
Him: "Yeah it just says "Renaultsport" "
My brain: Completely ignoring the wrong combination of letters, it's too many words and the wrong shape to say Renaultsport FFS!

Buyer: "Are these speakers standard?" (badly installed 6x9s in parcel shelf with large JBL logo across the centre)
Him: "Yep, standard upgrade on the cup version"
Me & Buyer: Speachless.

Him: "I took this corner at 100 MPH on my way home yesterday"

Buyer: "Any difference between the 182 FF and 182 Cup in terms of handling?"
Him: "Yeah massive difference, I've taken this apex at 100 MPH on my drive home this week, you couldn't take it at 60 MPH in a standard 182"

Buyer: "fresh MOT on purchase?"
Him: "The whole thing will get torn apart mate. I'll give you new timing belt kit, aux belt, bushes, pads, discs, filters AND put all the old stuff in a bag in the boot for you to see"
My brain: thousands of pounds worth of motorsport-level prep - for free. Right.


Was this the dodgy inner city dealer who told us to "pull up outside this house a minute, I've got to run an erand" mid test drive? Oh no, this was the well dressed, newly built, sw**ky looking independant in the Oxfordshire country side with a mint looking 225 on a raised platter in the front door. Some of the stuff I heard that day was unbeleivable.
 
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DaveDreads

aka Philomena Cunk aka Barry Shitpeas
ClioSport Club Member
  172, Golf PD130
It's actually a leopard skin texture standard from the factory, I don't know why they do it tbh?

Flol, that's a relief, I always thought mine was f*cked. haha
 
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Always get asked if its a 182, when its obvious its a ph1.

Also been told several times that a certain company can remap the 182 to over 200bhp.

I always go along with it.
 

banderson

ClioSport Club Member
  05' BG 182FF
I had one a few months back, pulled up in the BP to get fuel and see a mk1 1.2 pinnache (is that right?) full of 17-18 yr old chavvy looking farmer kids the other side of the pumps, got out and thedriverwas staring...

Him: Corr now that is a nice car mate
me: tthanks
him: is that a williams? (I have a BG 182)
Me: lol no!! It's a 182
him: oh is that one of them turbo ones (WTF?)
Me: nah mate it's a standard-ish 182, they didn't do a turbo from factory (he obviously ignored that comment)
him: oh my mate had one of them but it was the turbo one they made
me: oh, okay then.

I then went in and paid before I screamed at him like a little girl! But he followed me in!
He started dribbling about them clios again!

Me: I had one of them mk1 16v's same shape as yours kinda (his was facelift, ph3)
Him: what the Williams? I'd love a mk1 williams
me: nah it was the 1.8 16v, was quite quick actually!
Him: oh, yeah them Williams are the 1.4 16v turbo aren't they!
me: (I just stared at him in disbelievement and then just said...) NO! They are 2.0's!! And walked away

t**t! Lol
 
  Clio
a contractor at work came in and clamied his mate has a clio 200 with a remap and is now running 240?
i just agree tbh haha
 

DrR

ClioSport Club Member
  VW Golf GTD
The one i get with my new car is amazing lol

How can you afford to run it etc lol, it's cheaper to run in everyway than my clio was, and didn't cost much more to buy.
 
  SQ5
I was talking to a lad at a local motor factors who told me he had a Clio 1.8 16v that was N/A and running 274bhp.

I made an excuse and left quickly after that!
 
  Clio 182
I have a friend who hasnt got the slightest clue about cars or engines. He has a vauxhall corsa VXR. he once said to me in the middle of a conversation, and i quote 'all i know is with a re map i can get 600bhp out of this engine.' I laughed harder than a fat asian man and said 'yes Jordan.' (Jordan is his name lol)
 
  BG182FF
you have to wonder sometimes, do they know they are talking utter s**t? and just continue because they think it sounds good.

:facepalm

Personally I go along with it and think after, WTF is he/she on about.
 
  Clio 182
Also had a guy who used to work with me who was a mega compulsive liar it was unreal. One of his best gems was this...

*Conversation about the lottery*

Him: my mate won the lottery once.
Me and my colleagues: really? what like 50 quid or something?
Him: no the jackpot.
Me: NO WAY.
Him: yeah, but he only got like 20 quid because there was so many people who won it.
Me: ...Lying c**t.
 
Buyer: "It's a shame about the melted steering wheel on such a nice condition car"
Him: "Interesting comment, it's a common misconception actually. It's just a leopard skin texture standard from the factory, I don't know why they do it tbh?"
My brain: FLOL. CS would have just broken if they heard this.

That is priceless.

I've also had the turbo thing at work. Apparently the RS 182 Clio range has a turbo in it's line up, so mine isn't top of the range. I nodded and agreed politely.
 
Favourite from a dealer was that Renault are making a special edition megane called the r26.r, it's going to be the new Clio v6 with a mid mounted twin turbo v6 engine...
 

McGherkin

ClioSport Club Member
'You know what you should get for yours? One of them big induction kits, they make you way quicker' Piss off.
'You should slam that on the ground' My splitter's already come off, if I was any lower I'd need a new front bumper as well. Piss off.
'French cars break down constantly' My breakdowns: 0. Your shitty Golf's breakdowns: 5. Piss off.
'You should totally get fogs for that and wire them into your headlights' Piss off.
'You've got fake HIDs, they're not real, they just look real' Piss off.
'I could carry as many people on my bike as you can in your car' He was being serious. I told him to piss off.
'I beat a Clio last night' You don't even have a driver's license, you just get someone to drive your 1.0 Corsa around. Piss off.
'I'd rather die than drive a Clio' Go do the world a favour then.
'What's Normally Aspirated?'
'You can pay to have any numberplate transferred to any car'
'You should just cut the top off that [aerosol can] and pour the contents out'

I have to work with these... People. You have to deal with them on the street, I have to deal with them at work every day.
 

DaveDreads

aka Philomena Cunk aka Barry Shitpeas
ClioSport Club Member
  172, Golf PD130
My default reply to those kind of people is 'Wow I wish I was you, it must be great!?'
 
  ITB BG 182
I had several concerning members on here.

them - how is the ITB's
me - fine and loving the sound plus abit of power
them - what power is it making now?
me - 199 some thing on the dyno
them - thats a bit crap, what was it making before
me - my engine was fooked, making only 165 for many reasons
them - thats crap mapping for you
me - why is that then?
them - my friend at (not mentioning trader) can get them to 210bhp
me - ive literally only had the ITB's with a map and service
them - still go see ****** and they'll make it see 210
me - right, how?
them - just by mapping it better
me - oh ok then
them - you need to be careful as it might be a dangerous map
me - how can it be dangerous
them - your car might blow up or one of the ecu wires might melt and set fire in the engine bay

To which I didnt reply to this conversation and forwarded all convo's on to ktec for their attention.
I'm now on 48,000 miles from when it was all done and the car is fine. No problems apart from the suspension.
(do maps cause problems to the suspension??)

Other convo's ive seen/heard

them - dude, thats a sweet skyline
mate - what?
them - your skyline, its nice
mate - are you blind?
them - nar man...
mate - positive
them - how much is it running
mate - what, my skyline?
them - yea man, my mate over there has 1100 bhp and nos on his.
mate - my skyline is running 0bhp and 0 torque
them - (on looking very strange) oh thats funny man.
mate - get lost kid, its a 200sx not a sodding skyline!
 
  DCi 80 DieselSport
This thread needs sticky'ing.

Incredible.

Highlights include a turbo to each cylinder.

Carry on....
 
I have a friend who hasnt got the slightest clue about cars or engines. He has a vauxhall corsa VXR. he once said to me in the middle of a conversation, and i quote 'all i know is with a re map i can get 600bhp out of this engine.' I laughed harder than a fat asian man and said 'yes Jordan.' (Jordan is his name lol)

Need not say more :)
 

Jonnio

ClioSport Club Member
  Punto HGT Abarth
I heard someone say their blatantly standard 182 was a 2.0 turbo once.

I guess he was told that by whoever he bought it from and just has no clue.
 
You can make a dyno over-enthuse the results.

Also people believe what they are told...

I could sell my car saying it's got 250hp as it's been remapped, and you wouldn't know without taking it to a rolling road. If you didn't go and check, you'd never know, so you'd tell your mates you'd bought a 250hp car.

Exactly probably just repeating crap the have been told by the rr place.
 
  BG 182
At the petrol station on the other side of the pump was this green 106 with a poor copy of what appeared to be an f1 style spoiler and an exhaust the size of a wheely bin. The guy filling up looked across at my clio and said...

Him: I like em clios mate, good cars ent they
Me: Yeah I like them.
Him: Whats it running on then?
Me: (the temptation to say, unleaded petrol mate was huge) but resisted and said pretty sure they come out the factory new around 75 but its a few years old so probably under that now.
Him: Nah mate, smaller engine cars hold their bhp and in some cases it goes up after leaving the factory cause the engine gets run in.
Me: ...
Him: Yeah you see my 1.2 here im running it around 100 now. Got this custom exhaust which is way better than off the shelf ones, been remapped, and got those air filters from halfords innit.


At that point I thought i'll finish filling up another time and went and paid.
 

terryc101

ClioSport Club Member
Get these sorta things a lot, but here's a couple of my favourites. Again most of these take place in petrol stations.

Pull in the petrol station and fill up, transit full of blokes filling up next to me. As i walk in we have this great conversation...

Him - that a williams?
Me - kinda yeah (valver with cammed williams lump)
Him - nah it aint lol says 1.2 on it
Me - i put them there
Him - why would ya do that
Me - to fool people
Him - oh, how much you had out of it then?
Me - top speed?
Him - yeah
Me - not a lot really
Him - probably aint a williams then
Me - silence

Next occured after making saab 93 thing look silly on a private runway and pulling in to get fuel.

Him - whats in that then?
Me - 2.0 williams engine
Him - lets have a look

*opens bonnet*

Him - thats not a williams engine
Me - it is
Him - nah mate, all the williams engines have gold covers
Me - silence
 


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