Does anyone else get talking to these utter drivellers.

[Cliocrone]

Had a mate come up to me a couple weeks a go and told me he'd had 85mph in reverse out of his corsa. I laughed and walked off.

 

[lsdzig]

I'd of said show me this "85 mph in reverse" Then laugh at him when he reaches 30 and crashes.

 

[rob_sri]

Already had this type of convo with people or lads from work, i didnt mention it because of my reply would be rather huge and the amount of torment caused.

Ive also had people that have tried to tell me the following
- that lowering my car will make it go faster.
- If i put spirits in the petrol tank that it improves the ron level thus making the car faster.
- put a rolled up sock in the exhaust on a piece of string will help it to pass MOT exhaust test (full r****d)
- waxing windows on a daily basis is the new wiper
- upgrade to 18" rather than 16" and the car will be quicker....
- smaller profile tyres improve grip, as in 205/45 to 205/25...
- remoulded tyres are just as good as brand new ones...
- why dont you use slicks on the road, you'll get more grip.
- LED's improve weight performance


Really this list could go on and on...

 

[rob_sri]

I'd of said show me this "85 mph in reverse" Then laugh at him when he reaches 30 and crashes.

just make sure you get it on video with a ''watch this!'' at the start...

thats got all the makings of a million plus views youtube hero!

 

[Cliocrone]

just make sure you get it on video with a ''watch this!'' at the start...

thats got all the makings of a million plus views youtube hero!

Will do this if he mentions it again!
£250 from you've been framed anyway! :rasp:

 

[Knuckles]

I think the most I've had is in a petrol station, two lads asking if the RedRep was a 172cup... For a start it was red... With 1.4 on the side... And no side skirts.

But tbf to them it had turinis and a cup spoiler

Today I passed a new shape fiesta gtr... I drove past shaking my head... Then I realised what I was doing and sped off lol

 

[...]

Trouble is it happens here .... alot from what i have seen , and this is not a pop at anyone but generally its because people believe what they are told .


A prime example (and its not the thread starters fault as the info he has is by reading the advert from the kart circuit )

Having looked at the Karts (and i have 30 years experience racing Karts) they are a sing honda generator engine , these are also found in lawnmowers and cement mixers (getting the picture ) , looking at the track i would estimate 45mph tops , a long way off 70mph , in fact its doubtfull a single engined 4 stroke coperate kart would ever hit 70 , in fact a twin engined one would struggle , as they will have about 8bhp , 10 tops and weigh alot as they are very solidly built to withstand corporate abuse ,and basically earn money.

on that track a very nice 30bhp Rotax Max , weighing 65kgs without its driver would struggle for 70

 

[.Tyler]

Drove to a greenkeepers yard with a golf club manager today.

Him: Oh this is a nice little car...
Me: Yeah, it's not bad.
Him (once inside): What is it?
Me: It's a Renault Clio.
Him: It's awfully clean in here, it puts mine to shame. How did you get that like that? (strokes the dash)
Me: I clean it.

 

[Knuckles]

Drove to a greenkeepers yard with a golf club manager today.

Him: Oh this is a nice little car...
Me: Yeah, it's not bad.
Him (once inside): What is it?
Me: It's a Renault Clio.
Him: It's awfully clean in here, it puts mine to shame. How did you get that like that? (strokes the dash)
Me: I clean it.

Lol!

I give a lad from work a lift the other week... When he opened the door he shouted 'f**king hell Scott!'

I almost died, I thought my recaro was ripped or something... Then he followed up with 'how clean is your car?!'

He started laughing as I was calming down over thinking about damaged recaros lol, he was laughing and making me seem anal asking 'how often do you clean it? Be honest'

It genuinely hadn't been cleaned in two weeks, I just don't have passangers often ha

 

[len_beach]

I had the guy I bought my Clio from tell me that you could go to Renault Sport and buy a small chip for £150 that you plugged into the OBD permanently and this would take you to over 200bhp and was exactly what the Cup Racers use.

Also got into a conversation with a Guy about E46 3 Series and he went on to say how the M3 was brilliant but the 330 was just as quick and you were only paying for the badge. He felt a bit of a tool when we got outside and he saw I had an E46 M3.

 

[Reko]

Also got into a conversation with a Guy about E46 3 Series and he went on to say how the M3 was brilliant but the 330 was just as quick and you were only paying for the badge. He felt a bit of a tool when we got outside and he saw I had an E46 M3.

bwahah owned

 

[Chip-mk1]

One of the things that winds me up is when people dont understand stuff they dismiss it, but a lot of the stuff mentioned as being rubbish in this thread is actually true or partially true.


Picking a list to common on at random for example:

Already had this type of convo with people or lads from work, i didnt mention it because of my reply would be rather huge and the amount of torment caused.

Ive also had people that have tried to tell me the following
- that lowering my car will make it go faster.

That is true, generally speaking it will, the frontal area under the car has a big effect on wind resistance.
Also true in terms of cornering in a lot of cases as it improves the center of gravity. Although very dependant on suspension arm angles etc.

- If i put spirits in the petrol tank that it improves the ron level thus making the car faster.

Higher octane doesnt automatically increase performance, but spirits can increase the octane level, so kind of true.

- put a rolled up sock in the exhaust on a piece of string will help it to pass MOT exhaust test (full r****d)

If you partially block the exhaust it will get the catalytic converter upto temp better and therefore if its a bit borderline can help you pass an MOT

- waxing windows on a daily basis is the new wiper

At high speeds this is true, if you use a decent anti rain treatment you dont really need wipers once on the move on the open road.

- upgrade to 18" rather than 16" and the car will be quicker....

Well it depends on if you are gearing limited on top speed, most cars arent though so the reverse is normally true.

- smaller profile tyres improve grip, as in 205/45 to 205/25...

Thats true to a certain extent, less sidewall flex

remoulded tyres are just as good as brand new ones...

Better in some cases in terms of grip, a set of maxsport remoulds will outgrip 99.9% of new tyres on the market.

- why dont you use slicks on the road, you'll get more grip.

In the dry, but not great for legality, lol

- LED's improve weight performance

lol, no idea what that means


Really this list could go on and on...[/QUOTE]

 

[Chip-mk1]

Had a mate come up to me a couple weeks a go and told me he'd had 85mph in reverse out of his corsa. I laughed and walked off.

Most corsas are on the rev limit in reverse gear at about 30mph, he must have been looking at the water temp not the speedo, lol

 

[Daryl87]

'I'd rather die than drive a Clio' Go do the world a favour then.

I laughed so hard reading this Love your blunt responses.
Do you work at Halfrauds by any chance?

 

[Knuckles]

I had the guy I bought my Clio from tell me that you could go to Renault Sport and buy a small chip for £150 that you plugged into the OBD permanently and this would take you to over 200bhp and was exactly what the Cup Racers use.

Also got into a conversation with a Guy about E46 3 Series and he went on to say how the M3 was brilliant but the 330 was just as quick and you were only paying for the badge. He felt a bit of a tool when we got outside and he saw I had an E46 M3.

Did you not feel a bit of a tool for paying the premium for a badge :rasp:

 

[Daryl87]

Anyone want to by a premium quality leopard skin effect, factory standard steering wheel? Comes with additional silicone based synthetic leather coating for additional racing grip..... (based on a previous post)

I could hurt that salesman for such blasphemy

This is an awesome thread btw

 

[Advikaz]

Come accross a lot of these mongs in my line of work. Had so many classic lines it's unbelievable!

Had a decent one a while back whilest tutoring a muppet on a track day.

Me: Have you ever driven quickly before?
Knobber: Mate I own a 911, I know how to drive.
Me: I own a microwave, doesn't make me Jamie Oliver now does it.

Needless to say he put it through the litter before the end of the day.

 

[lsdzig]

What you get fron living in Essex mate just tell them to stick a go faster strip and the could easily be looking at 220bhp

That is too true, I went to Basildon yesterday and I've never seen so many chavs with the "none cool factor" for example they were parked in a line doing hand break turns while the police were going through McDonald's drive through (police didn't seem to care) to be fair it looked quite fun... But then you had some other complete heroes with the boot open and the music at fall blast with some ridiculously loud sound system, people dancing around the car.... I couldn't Believe what I was actually seeing.

The worst bit about this was while I was parked up eating a mc Donald's before going to this girls house, my car battery decided to fail me after 10 mins..... So I had to walk over to the f****** chavs and ask for a bump start, luckily one of them was able to jump start my car with leads he had in the back... I was quite ashamed lol

 

[Daryl87]

Ah Basildon, the place where hopes and dreams go to die...

You're lucky you got away with all your wheels This wasn't Bas Vegas you speak of?

 

[lsdzig]

Nah it was the flyover bit, although I did go baz Vegas to just see what the hilarious it was, wow it was something to another level lol

 

[DIDITNO]

The only funny one ive had recently was when i was waiting in a work car park for a mate of mine. A muppet pulled up in his subaru, walked up to the williams, and said "nice try at making it look like a scooby", i asked why and he informed me "cos u put gold wheels and a bonnet vent on it". He seemed quite upset when i informed him it left the factory like it, 10 years before his was built, so was he trying to make his look like mine?, i then got "fu£k off" and he walked off. Bless.

 

[lsdzig]

One of the things that winds me up is when people dont understand stuff they dismiss it, but a lot of the stuff mentioned as being rubbish in this thread is actually true or partially true.

One thing that winds me up, you're the most cringe worthy boring person I've Actually ever met, why do you actually care and have to comment on everything to make yourself sound knowledgeable, get lost.... Cheers mate.

 

[Italian_Job]

Guy in a M1 stops at the traffic lights and goes...

how many BHP?? is that the cup one with the v8 engine??
--___--


a week ago the guy at the exhaust centre...

Nice car mate! I had a 172 special edition (what??) running at 210bhb with custom exhaust + air filter + remap

no comment on that

 

[Z3RO]

It was special! ahhah lol

During a car meeting some years ago.. I was with a friend which got a toyota celica 2.0l N/A . We were talking with other guys, when popped up a guy which said:
guy: is yours?
mate: yes!
guy: nice car! is the gt4?
mate: -__- not..
guy: aah!! anyway nice but don't put a turbo in it or the engine will explode!
mate: O____O
me: O____O
guy: yes a friend putted a turbo in his celica and blowed the engine
me and mate walked away

so drastic... hehe

 

[mjf93]

I have a Clio 172 Cup, have a friend with a 1.2 5 door. Always informing me and anyone we meet together we have 'the same car'. But hers is better because it has a sunroof. Anoying to say the least lol

 

[mjf93]

Same friend also says 'warming up a car makes no difference and im being stupid' and 'why would you check your oil so often?' I check it twice a month :/

 

[DannyR]

It was special! ahhah lol

During a car meeting some years ago.. I was with a friend which got a toyota celica 2.0l N/A . We were talking with other guys, when popped up a guy which said:
guy: is yours?
mate: yes!
guy: nice car! is the gt4?
mate: -__- not..
guy: aah!! anyway nice but don't put a turbo in it or the engine will explode!
mate: O____O
me: O____O
guy: yes a friend putted a turbo in his celica and blowed the engine
me and mate walked away

so drastic... hehe

Putting a turbo on the n/a lump wouldn't last very long lol!

 

[Z3RO]

Putting a turbo on the n/a lump wouldn't last very long lol!

yup but "explode" sounded a bit too much.. I think if you make a conversion like that you would change stock rods and pistons at least.

 

[DannyR]

Well you'd just put the GT4 lump in.

But he is right with exploded.

 

[Begbie]

Had my mate say to me "Could do with a little cheap run around like this" "Nice little 1.2 to pottle around in" Que me hammering it around a bend, with a shocked face looking at me.

Then had to explain, I wasn't a chav and no I didn't put the body kit on or add wheels.

 

[DanielJames]

You've got to remember if average joe gets told its 200bhp, then he will tell people its 200bhp. So what if he's full of s**t lol

I had a guy in the gym the other day telling me about how fast his mates VXR Nurburgring is, saying how nothing on the road will beat it.. I tried telling him my Ibiza would put up a good fight (it would probably win tbf) but he was having none of it!

Wasn't even his car FFS!

 

[Gandi69]

Dreamers and plebs. Had someone telling me his Saxo VTR 8v would keep up with a 172, and that he "hired" one and got 45mpg when thrashing it

 

[imprezaworks]

You've got to remember if average joe gets told its 200bhp, then he will tell people its 200bhp. So what if he's full of s**t lol

I had a guy in the gym the other day telling me about how fast his mates VXR Nurburgring is, saying how nothing on the road will beat it.. I tried telling him my Ibiza would put up a good fight (it would probably win tbf) but he was having none of it!

Wasn't even his car FFS!

Lol. Yeah i love that when people tell stories about how good a car is that they dont own.

 

[jhot80]

Buyer: "It's a shame about the melted steering wheel on such a nice condition car"
Him: "Interesting comment, it's a common misconception actually. It's just a leopard skin texture standard from the factory, I don't know why they do it tbh?"
My brain: FLOL. CS would have just broken if they heard this.

I'm sad that this isnt true. But what else must have been wrong with this car to make tell so many lies to sell it.

 

[jhot80]

I hate the people with diesels that believe they are mega fast because theres a bit of a surge to it.

Meet one guy with a mk4 golf tdi that had been remapped that would keep up with fiesta st no prob. My xr2 with a very tired 1.6 went no prob past it.

I need to get me some remapping kit as you can make a fortune doing it. Flash the ecu and they come up with the figure for you.

 

[imprezaworks]

To be fair a mapped golf is quick, prob quicker than you think.

 

[Martin.]

Someone I know has a 182. With filter, back box exhaust, remap and cams.

APPARENTLY it's 220BHP.

 

[Chrisgti6]

To be fair a mapped golf is quick, prob quicker than you think.

I have to agree, the mk4's can easily see 180bhp with very little cost and will still return 40+mpg all day long. Having said that, they still handle like a boat unless you throw cash at the suspension!

A mapped one should easily see off a Fiesta ST

 

[BREMBO]

I had my first bodykit comment a few weeks ago, some German guy on a bike lol

 

[jhot80]

I have to agree, the mk4's can easily see 180bhp with very little cost and will still return 40+mpg all day long. Having said that, they still handle like a boat unless you throw cash at the suspension!

A mapped one should easily see off a Fiesta ST

Yer but its a diesel 180 and although feels quick and has a good torque figure to go with it soon runs out. Although st's arent very fast i think even a 180 golf would have to work hard to see one off.