ClioSport.net
Register a free account today to become a member!
Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!
-
When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Read more here.
Funniest Thing You Have Been Told By A Dealer...
- Thread starter y0z2a
- Start date
Coilovered Clio Dynamique
I know this doesnt relate to a Renault dealer but on Friday I rang up to renew my insurance on my Dads car
Company: And the details of the car please
Me: 2006 Vectra SRi XP Nav
Company: Ok is that an 8v engine?
Me: No, a 16v
Comapny: Are you sure this car is not an import?
Me: Quite certain our VAUXHALL has not been imported
Comapny: It is possible it is a Japanese Import sir
WTF?
Company: And the details of the car please
Me: 2006 Vectra SRi XP Nav
Company: Ok is that an 8v engine?
Me: No, a 16v
Comapny: Are you sure this car is not an import?
Me: Quite certain our VAUXHALL has not been imported
Comapny: It is possible it is a Japanese Import sir
WTF?
421 Cammed 172
The wipers went on mine. The airbag light is another common one. Ive had that problem several times. Ive given up now as its a few hundred quid to have it sorted each time and it just comes back!!!
BAck when I was a halfords monkey Id get asked stupid questions constantly. The one that sticks in my head is when someone asked me for a wiper blade for their car.
Me: No problem, what kind of car is it?
Them: er, its green.
They didnt have a clue about the make, model, year anything. I guessed they had someone to dress them in the morning
Should have recommended they buy vegetable oil
Almost as useless as the parts people there:
'I'd like a grille off a Renaultsport Clio... you know the 172/182 one?'
'Do you have a reg number?'
'No, I don't have a Renaultsport... I'm just buying the part'
'It won't fit'
'It will'
'(long pause).... ohhh you mean the one off a 182 cup?'
'Err yeah...'
'They are expensive you know... about 85 quid plus vat'
'...they are 45 mate now go and order me one'
(comes back literally 15 minutes later)... 'oh yeah you were right, they must have reduced them'
Seriously, if they want to make money then they should employ monkies with half a brain.
Shaun : Hello, I'd like a DS2 Xenon bulb please for a 2001 Clio
Stealer : ok sir, just hang on and I'll confirm the price ............ Here we go, they're £157.26 + vat
Shaun : Oh no sorry, I don't need the headlamp, just the bulb on its own please
Stealer : ..............That is for the bulb sir, but unfortunately we wouldn't just supply you the bulb as they're easily damaged you see, we would require you to bring in your car so we can fit it as we need to remove the bumper and fit it for you, it will take a couple of hours of labour so probably best you leave it with us.
Shaun : err............ ok? (sniggers) So what would it be all in to replace the bulb then
Stealer : hang on 2 seconds.......... Right, its 2 hours labour @ £60ph so £120 + vat, and the bulb is £157 + vat, so it will be £277 + vat
Shaun : To replace a bulb?
Stealer : Yep
Shaun : .................................. (Click)
Stealer : ok sir, just hang on and I'll confirm the price ............ Here we go, they're £157.26 + vat
Shaun : Oh no sorry, I don't need the headlamp, just the bulb on its own please
Stealer : ..............That is for the bulb sir, but unfortunately we wouldn't just supply you the bulb as they're easily damaged you see, we would require you to bring in your car so we can fit it as we need to remove the bumper and fit it for you, it will take a couple of hours of labour so probably best you leave it with us.
Shaun : err............ ok? (sniggers) So what would it be all in to replace the bulb then
Stealer : hang on 2 seconds.......... Right, its 2 hours labour @ £60ph so £120 + vat, and the bulb is £157 + vat, so it will be £277 + vat
Shaun : To replace a bulb?
Stealer : Yep
Shaun : .................................. (Click)
Yozz'd up 182
Had the same today,
Me: How much are those plugs for the washer jets holes.
Parts guy: Plugs?
Me: Yeah, they had them on the 172 cup?
Parts guy: Whats a cup?
i just told him to forget it and il come back once i have the part number.
Idiots.
Homo spec mazda
You get loads at halfords.
Customer: Hi id like a headlight bulb
Me: Okay sir what car is it for
Customer: Ford escort
Me: what year is the car?
Customer: 2003
Me: are you sure?
customer: yes
me: well the escort was replaced in 1998 for the focus
Customer: Well I must have a private plate
Me: okay whats the registration number
customer: xx03 xxx
Me: Okay thats come back to a ford focuse
customer: no its an escort, get me your manager
Me: ofcourse hang on a second
Manager: How can I help sir
Customer: this boy is telling me my car is a focus not an escort
Manager: thats odd sir, is your car parked outside so i can take a look
Manager, myself and the customer walk out, he points at a green focus
Manager: but sir that is a ford focus
Customer: no its not
Me: yes it even says it on the back
Customer: no its a special edition ford escort focus
me: oooookay
Manager: ooooooookkay
Me: either way it looks like a H7 bulb, would you like it fitted
Customer: im not letting you incompetant baboons do it
Me: okay sir not a problem
He buys the bulb, then 30 minutes later
Customer: i bought this bulb of you before and you gave me the wrong one.
Me: really? how odd, bring in the old one.
Customer: i Cant get it out
Me: so how do you know its wrong
customer: it wont fit
Me: maybe theres another bulb in the way?
Customer: I know but i cant get it out
Me: so you want it fitting?
Customer: no i need the right bulb
Me: okay sir il take a look
Get outside and all covers and clips are still on after a minute or 2 i have the bulb in my hand
Me: its the same bulb, were you just trying to get one of the baboons to make up for your mistake
Customer: No its not right
Me: okay il let you finish then sir
further 30 minutes later he comes back in
Customer: the service in this shop is dreadfull, can i have the number for your customer services
Me: sure sir its xxxxxxxxx
he snatches and walks off, moral of the story is, just because you repeat yourself, doesnt make you right.
BAck when I was a halfords monkey Id get asked stupid questions constantly. The one that sticks in my head is when someone asked me for a wiper blade for their car.
Me: No problem, what kind of car is it?
Them: er, its green.
They didnt have a clue about the make, model, year anything. I guessed they had someone to dress them in the morning
As a halfords b**ch myself, i'm continuously amazed at peoples lack of knowledge of the cars they are driving round.
On more than a few occasions people have no idea what make or model of car they are driving or what the registration is.
Remember this happening vividly, its not an isolated case either:
Her: I need some oil for my car
Me: Right what car is that for madam?
Her: I dont know, its outside.
Me: Oh right, do you know the registration then?
Her: No. Its outside if you want to look.
I find her car and look up what oil she needs. It was a 2000 fiesta.
Me: Right then how much do you need? just a 1L top up?
Her: Erm, well i'm not sure, my son looked at that dipstick thing and there was no oil on it so told me to come here
Me: There was no oil on the dipstick at all?
Her: No
Me: Ah.
After she had bought a full 5L bottle, she asked if i could show her where the oil goes as she had no idea.
the car took somewhere in the region of 4L of oil, which on a small engined fiesta must be somewhere close to the entire sump capacity. It had to have been virtually bone dry, with no telling how long she was running it like that for.
Amazing.
Never underestimate the morons halfords seems to attract.
I once had a nice young man ask me if the tailpipe trims give you any more power.
I took every fibre of my being to tell him no.
I once had a nice young man ask me if the tailpipe trims give you any more power.
I took every fibre of my being to tell him no.
Flol If I had of been there seeing some armley pikey eyeing them up in that little glass cabinet then asking that I don't think the laughter could have been contained.
Monaco 53/468
Me and my best mate used to be salesmen in the same Renault dealership, every week the same woman used to come in for a hot chocolate and just ask silly questions then sod off til the next week, we took a deposit from her many times only for her to cancel the deals every time. One day she came in and sat in a new clio, she said
"I can't see the bonnet, its not safe"
my mate replied "Not safe!?, Renaults ethos is safety. In fact the reason why you cant see the bonnet is because of a safety feature called CRV"
"whats that then?" she replies
"Complete Road Vision" he says, "So you can see more of the road instead of the bonnet"
"ooooh thats clever, I like Renaults"
"I can't see the bonnet, its not safe"
my mate replied "Not safe!?, Renaults ethos is safety. In fact the reason why you cant see the bonnet is because of a safety feature called CRV"
"whats that then?" she replies
"Complete Road Vision" he says, "So you can see more of the road instead of the bonnet"
"ooooh thats clever, I like Renaults"
Monaco 53/468
she did want one but we wouldn't accept it due to her previous!
She had a pearler P plate Clio in Naples Red done about 11k miles at the time, had it washed every week when she came in to waste our time!
She had a pearler P plate Clio in Naples Red done about 11k miles at the time, had it washed every week when she came in to waste our time!
180.5 bhp 172
I went into a Dealers when I tinted my side repeaters to get a spare set just incase i cocked it up.
Anyway....Convo went like this....
Me: Hi, I'd like a pair of lens's for a 2005 Clio please
Dealer: Sorry sir, we dont sell the lens's on their own, you'll have to buy the bulbs and some wiring for them aswell.
Me: No, I just want to lens's please.
Dealer: We dont sell them on their own, sorry.
*I went outside, sat in my car, and went on the internet on my phone and found a part number for a pair of Lens's*
Me: Hi, I want this part please *Gave him the part number*
Dealer: Whats this for?
Me: A Pair of Lens's
Dealer: I'll have a look on the system, but I said 5 mins ago, we dont sell them without the other bits.
*Puts part number into his PC, waits a few seconds*
Dealer: Bear with me sir....
*Goes out the back for 30 seconds, then comes back with a pair of Lens's*
Dealer: Sorry sir, thats £19 please.
:lolup::lolup::lolup:
Anyway....Convo went like this....
Me: Hi, I'd like a pair of lens's for a 2005 Clio please
Dealer: Sorry sir, we dont sell the lens's on their own, you'll have to buy the bulbs and some wiring for them aswell.
Me: No, I just want to lens's please.
Dealer: We dont sell them on their own, sorry.
*I went outside, sat in my car, and went on the internet on my phone and found a part number for a pair of Lens's*
Me: Hi, I want this part please *Gave him the part number*
Dealer: Whats this for?
Me: A Pair of Lens's
Dealer: I'll have a look on the system, but I said 5 mins ago, we dont sell them without the other bits.
*Puts part number into his PC, waits a few seconds*
Dealer: Bear with me sir....
*Goes out the back for 30 seconds, then comes back with a pair of Lens's*
Dealer: Sorry sir, thats £19 please.
:lolup::lolup::lolup:
Monaco 53/468
/\ /\ /\ /\ /\ thats hilarious, same as our old parts dept - funkin useless
Addz
ClioSport Club Member
Trophy, TVR Tamora
More stupid customers...
a guy at work the other day insisted that his micra was a 1947 year, when i asked if it could possibly be a 1997 he said "no, i think i know what year my car is young man..." righto then!
a woman came in the shop the other day and asked for screenwash, i got a 5L one and put it on the counter and she asked, "that is the stuff you put in your radiator isnt it?" to which i looked at her in amazment and said "umm no screenwash is what you squirt at your windscreen to wash it, you want antifreeze..."
good god.
a guy at work the other day insisted that his micra was a 1947 year, when i asked if it could possibly be a 1997 he said "no, i think i know what year my car is young man..." righto then!
a woman came in the shop the other day and asked for screenwash, i got a 5L one and put it on the counter and she asked, "that is the stuff you put in your radiator isnt it?" to which i looked at her in amazment and said "umm no screenwash is what you squirt at your windscreen to wash it, you want antifreeze..."
good god.
421 Cammed 172
I don't know whats funnier. The story or the price!!
180.5 bhp 172
needless to say, I took them back for a refund as I didnt need them in the end!
Jon.L
ClioSport Club Member
911 GT3 & Audi Q8
had my fan belt tensioner replaced and got told that there was a problem with my car the old owner has "PUT AN ENGINE IN THATS TOO BIG AND NOT MEANT FOR THE CAR"
me: No its a clio sport 2 litre
Him: Are you sure
me: Yes its my car
Him: Well we cant get the belt back on
me: erm okay well you go it off so you need to put it back on
2 days later i get my car back
Moral of the story: DONT USE THIS GARAGE AGAIN!
me: No its a clio sport 2 litre
Him: Are you sure
me: Yes its my car
Him: Well we cant get the belt back on
me: erm okay well you go it off so you need to put it back on
2 days later i get my car back
Moral of the story: DONT USE THIS GARAGE AGAIN!
Ultra Blue R26
Had a couple when looking my R26.
Phoned local dealer and asked if they had an R26 I could test drive? Answer: What's an R26?
Found one listed on Autotrader so phoned up and booked a test drive for 3pm that afternoon.
Arrive at dealers at 3pm and say "I've booked a test drive in that" pointing at the R26.
"Oh! We haven't had a call about a test drive. Who did you speak to?"
"Adam" I reply.
Young guy walks over and says "Well I'm Adam and I didn't take the call"
So I obviously made it up and just happened to pick this guys name out of thin air!
Anyway I got my test drive eventually, but didn't buy from them!
Phoned local dealer and asked if they had an R26 I could test drive? Answer: What's an R26?
Found one listed on Autotrader so phoned up and booked a test drive for 3pm that afternoon.
Arrive at dealers at 3pm and say "I've booked a test drive in that" pointing at the R26.
"Oh! We haven't had a call about a test drive. Who did you speak to?"
"Adam" I reply.
Young guy walks over and says "Well I'm Adam and I didn't take the call"
So I obviously made it up and just happened to pick this guys name out of thin air!
Anyway I got my test drive eventually, but didn't buy from them!
Clio 182
Had my best one at Renault Wirral when i got my new Laguna 2.0T.
After having the car for 1 week and 180 miles on the clock the interior light fell out.
So after taking it back over 7 times to get fixed i was so not happy when it fell out for the 8th time. On asking them to fix it properly this time the Dealer said that Renault are now aware of this problem and have made a part to hold the light.
How happy do you think i was when i drove out the dealership and went over the speed bump to have the light fall out along with half a milk carton that had a hole cut out of it.
After having the car for 1 week and 180 miles on the clock the interior light fell out.
So after taking it back over 7 times to get fixed i was so not happy when it fell out for the 8th time. On asking them to fix it properly this time the Dealer said that Renault are now aware of this problem and have made a part to hold the light.
How happy do you think i was when i drove out the dealership and went over the speed bump to have the light fall out along with half a milk carton that had a hole cut out of it.
Monaco 53/468
no way!!!
Clio 182
Ye was fixed after that.
Am in the middle of a new one at the moment with my Clio 182s auxiliary belt tensioner. Will let you know how i get on.
Suzuki Ignis
Went to halfrauds to get a set of wiper blades,looked in the book and when I got home relised I must have picked up the wrong box. Anyway go back the next day and ask to change them. Couldnt find the ones I needed and ask for someone to check if they were in the back or anything. He just looked at me and the convo went like this,
Me: Hi, bought these, there wrong, I want to exchange them for the right set.
Him:You can just get a refund as the front desk you know?
Me:Yes but I need new blade at the others are perished.
Him:Well get a refund and check back in a few days when we have been through the stock.
Me:OK bye.*Drives to another place*
Dont know why I bothered, knew I wouldnt get any help there.
Me: Hi, bought these, there wrong, I want to exchange them for the right set.
Him:You can just get a refund as the front desk you know?
Me:Yes but I need new blade at the others are perished.
Him:Well get a refund and check back in a few days when we have been through the stock.
Me:OK bye.*Drives to another place*
Dont know why I bothered, knew I wouldnt get any help there.
Similar threads
