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Does anyone else get talking to these utter drivellers.



  Astra H vxr
What you get fron living in Essex mate just tell them to stick a go faster strip and the could easily be looking at 220bhp ;)
 

Dan.AS

ClioSport Club Member
  RB 182 & Mk2 GTE 16v
Also had a guy who used to work with me who was a mega compulsive liar it was unreal. One of his best gems was this...

*Conversation about the lottery*

Him: my mate won the lottery once.
Me and my colleagues: really? what like 50 quid or something?
Him: no the jackpot.
Me: NO WAY.
Him: yeah, but he only got like 20 quid because there was so many people who won it.
Me: ...Lying c**t.

Was he mates with one of the extras on Bruce Almighty?? :S
 
I know someone who thinks he knows everything abouts cars, some of the things he's said has had me on the floor laughing,
apperently he had his 1.0 corsa to 110mph!
and so he says my Clio isn't as safe as his x reg corsa
best one though is he's gona buy a type r and spend about a grand on it then it'll do 180mph :banghead:
 
  BG FF 182
"What you should do is instead of buying a new exhaust is cut the tile pipe off then drill a hole in it and put a bar in and wiggle it around, sounds so good and better MPG"
"Whats that in your engine bay?"
"duct tape"
"urm.... What about that?"
"Hose pipe"
"okay...."
 
  BG FF 182
dannygt911 remember the time he said that clios aren't used for racing or when I said about the clios coming second and sixth in Rallycross Supercar A Final and he said they don't race in rally, then went on about a mate that races and says clios are rubbish (This mate that knows everything) after much arguing he said they came last and he watched it when clearly he didn't because I watched it the day before and he said it was last month. My final reply was "okay" defiantly a :banghead:
 
dannygt911 remember the time he said that clios aren't used for racing or when I said about the clios coming second and sixth in Rallycross Supercar A Final and he said they don't race in rally, then went on about a mate that races and says clios are rubbish (This mate that knows everything) after much arguing he said they came last and he watched it when clearly he didn't because I watched it the day before and he said it was last month. My final reply was "okay" defiantly a :banghead:

Haha yh, go careful what you say though, he knows people... :S
 
  Arctic 182
Priceless thread - can't say i've had a petrol pump conversation yet, but look forward to it soon reading these!
 
  Clio 182
Had one of these at work, apparently the guy, looks around 25/26 had one of these (Clio 182) as his first car at 18 and was 200bhp from a blue-fin "chip"

Me: Chip, are you sure? Arn't Blue-fins usually for fords?

Him: Na, it worked on my 182 too!

/facepalm, ignore.
 
  Stealth 438'd 182
I know someone who thinks he knows everything abouts cars, some of the things he's said has had me on the floor laughing,
apperently he had his 1.0 corsa to 110mph!
and so he says my Clio isn't as safe as his x reg corsa
best one though is he's gona buy a type r and spend about a grand on it then it'll do 180mph :banghead:

the 1.0 corsa comment can be done tbf..my mate did something similar long run.. slight downhill..thing sounded like it was going to blow up mind and manifold blew the lambda probe out i do have pictures somewhere.. it died a horrible death not that many weeks after haha

i'm waiting for the electric superchargers and ebay sports switches to get a mention in here!
epic thread !
 
Were any of you at FCS?
the meguiars top 25 - RB 182 - the owner was saying with a map, filter, exhaust with decat he will be pushing around 210-220bhp. then the guy doing the presenting was like "yeah proper good cars these little clios it's easy to get them to 200bhp with just simple mods."

I actually lol'd.
 
  ITB BG 182
i'm waiting for the electric superchargers and ebay sports switches to get a mention in here!
epic thread !

Already had this type of convo with people or lads from work, i didnt mention it because of my reply would be rather huge and the amount of torment caused.

Ive also had people that have tried to tell me the following
- that lowering my car will make it go faster.
- If i put spirits in the petrol tank that it improves the ron level thus making the car faster.
- put a rolled up sock in the exhaust on a piece of string will help it to pass MOT exhaust test (full r****d)
- waxing windows on a daily basis is the new wiper
- upgrade to 18" rather than 16" and the car will be quicker....
- smaller profile tyres improve grip, as in 205/45 to 205/25...
- remoulded tyres are just as good as brand new ones...
- why dont you use slicks on the road, you'll get more grip.
- LED's improve weight performance


Really this list could go on and on...
 
  SQ5
- upgrade to 18" rather than 16" and the car will be quicker....
- remoulded tyres are just as good as brand new ones...

These are both true.

18" wheels would give you a better top speed.

Fred used remoulds and I've seen a few other tests with remoulds and they are on par.
 
  ITB BG 182
These are both true.

18" wheels would give you a better top speed.

Fred used remoulds and I've seen a few other tests with remoulds and they are on par.

18"s on a clio tho, srs?? would look chav an be slower at pull off?

Aint remoulds illegal?
 
A guy i know... a few other know of him on here and have prob heard these stories before (so im not making stories up) but has told us many of funny stories:

1. Fell off a motor bike at 150mph in just jeans and a t-shirt... funny not a mark on him and he cant ride a bike as he recently asked one of our mates to teach him
2. Apparently has a metal plate in his four head and a metal bollock... when i find a big enough magnet im gonna test this out
3. Apparently worked for Merc Benz, got pissed off after a month so drove his car threw the dealership... funny because it was never in the news...

He has so many more storys... but mate told me a good plan for ever time he talks bullsiht which is:
- Let him start for a few mins and play along
- Once he's half way into the story turn round and say "youve told me that story before" - This then shuts him up as he then wont carry on the story just incase he told it different before
 
  Clio 182
The hero Corsa story is possibly true...

My first (and previous car to the 182) was a 51 plate 1.2 sxi; had an indicated 112 on the way back from Thorpe Park about 6 months after i got it. Me, 4 passengers and bags in the boot, slightly downhill on the M20, so perhaps more momentum than anything. that was in 2005 on 35ish thousand miles, traded it in April just gone with 98000 miles, never broke down once. Like I said HERO Corsa! Loved that thing... :eek:

On topic, I've never heard anything glaringly bad, a neighbour of mine had a 172 which he thought was supercharged from the factory. No.

Other than that, just glaring falsities; I'm sure most people on here have some strange ability to recall facts and figures about cars, like horsepower, engine size and type, 0-60s etc for performance cars. When someone gets it wrong, i have to correct them, I can't help it!
 

Silent_Scone

ClioSport Club Member
  Evo 5 RS
I had an S14 owner ask me about my car and then tell me his is over 300bhp. It definitely wasn't...people just inflate everything.

What's it they say in American Pie about the rule of 3? lol
 
I had an S14 owner ask me about my car and then tell me his is over 300bhp. It definitely wasn't...people just inflate everything.

Could be if turbo'ed and matter on the turbo'ed upgrade... but would be rare!

One the basis of the 3 rule... if he was male it was only running 100bhp... if she was female drive it must have been 900bhp ;)
 
  Suzuki Jimny
I once gave a lift to someone I work with when I had my 172 cup, 'This is the one with the engine in the back yeah?'

He turned around and looked at the rear seats....

'Yeah it's under the seats!'
 

Silent_Scone

ClioSport Club Member
  Evo 5 RS
Could be if turbo'ed and matter on the turbo'ed upgrade... but would be rare!

One the basis of the 3 rule... if he was male it was only running 100bhp... if she was female drive it must have been 900bhp ;)


It looked a shed and from friends having silvias I know they're not that easy to get to 300bhp. Plus it wasn't that fast...:)
 

davo172

ClioSport Club Member
  TCR'd 172
This happened at the traffic lights once.

Young chav on a scooter the hoover powered effort (He was fully kitted out in sports directs finest threads an argos's finest bling ! ), pulled up and said "nice car chap is it a sport"
(clearly a genius:rolleyes: ) followed by "Is it fast ?" " THEN the final "My bruvver has one his is runnin 240bhp tho he gorra a chip booster on Innit "
I did not reply just put the window up and drove off smiling.
 
  Clio 182
Once got offered to race in my 1.2, by another 1.2 owner. I lolled and drove off. Would of been the slowest race in history.
 
Once got offered to race in my 1.2, by another 1.2 owner. I lolled and drove off. Would of been the slowest race in history.

I love it when i get 1.2 say do you wanna race... normally i respond with "nah its ok, my cars slow, your prob beat me ;)"
 
  Astra H vxr
A guy i know... a few other know of him on here and have prob heard these stories before (so im not making stories up) but has told us many of funny stories:

1. Fell off a motor bike at 150mph in just jeans and a t-shirt... funny not a mark on him and he cant ride a bike as he recently asked one of our mates to teach him
2. Apparently has a metal plate in his four head and a metal bollock... when i find a big enough magnet im gonna test this out
3. Apparently worked for Merc Benz, got pissed off after a month so drove his car threw the dealership... funny because it was never in the news...

He has so many more storys... but mate told me a good plan for ever time he talks bullsiht which is:
- Let him start for a few mins and play along
- Once he's half way into the story turn round and say "youve told me that story before" - This then shuts him up as he then wont carry on the story just incase he told it different before
It's not jay of inbetweeners isit lol ;)
 
  Clio 1.2 Mk2 Ph1
this thread is quality. Im taking mine to k-tec for a remap in a few weeks. My mate who works for NASA reckons ill get at least 150bhp from my 1.2 16v?
 
this thread is quality. Im taking mine to k-tec for a remap in a few weeks. My mate who works for NASA reckons ill get at least 150bhp from my 1.2 16v?

Wow... does he know about the new HD Leads (replacement for HT Leads)... apparently the quatiltys amazing and you can add up to 40bhp... that near as much bhp as adding a chav sticker to the back window ;)
 
  Clio 1.2 Mk2 Ph1
Im actually taking it there for a remap too lol! Im only expecting 10% gain after speaking to ktec at FCS. :)

Are HT leads those cables that go to your lights? ;)
 
  Clio 1.2 Mk2 Ph1
My money to waste. I intend on keeping the car for a while so why not? I'm not a total fool I know that I'm better off with a more powerful car but I'm not bothered.
 
  Clio 1.2 Mk2 Ph1
Oh and bhp is not the only thing that matters. I'm not about to gloat at my gains lol. I just want to piss of the 18 year old kids in corsas and fiestaa lol
 


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