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Does anyone else get talking to these utter drivellers.



DaveDreads

aka Philomena Cunk aka Barry Shitpeas
ClioSport Club Member
I had a MK4 Gti absolutely sh*t on me the other month,
it sounded like it was running some serious boost if the turbo whistle and waste gate noise was anything to go by.

Looked completely standard from the outside aswell,
certainly took me by surprise on one of the many duel carriageways around Coventry.
 
  182/RS2/ Turbo/Mk1
To be fair a mapped golf is quick, prob quicker than you think.

If its a 150 to start with we normally get around 190-200bhp and over 300lbft of torque.

About a match for a 172 in terms of straight line pace then, but much easier to drive fast in terms of not having to rev the knackers off it etc.
 

imprezaworks

ClioSport Club Member
  Mk5 Golf GTI :)
Definatly. You pull up one in the wrong gear and you be left with your pants down. I still wouldnt have one regardless how quick they are, no personality.
 
  182/RS2/ Turbo/Mk1
One thing that winds me up, you're the most cringe worthy boring person I've Actually ever met,
You must be even more boring Im afraid mate as I dont ever even remember meeting you.

why do you actually care and have to comment on everything to make yourself sound knowledgeable
Thats not my reason but it is sometimes a side effect of knowing what you are on about which when it comes to most things related to tuning cars I obviously do, not going to apologise for that or try and hide it.

get lost....
No, but you are welcome to add me to your ignore list.
 
  182/RS2/ Turbo/Mk1
Definatly. You pull up one in the wrong gear and you be left with your pants down. I still wouldnt have one regardless how quick they are, no personality.

Perfectly reasonable daily, would have one for that quite happily as I spend most of my daily driving either sat on a motorway where pretty much any car is boring, or stuck in traffic where the same is true, but I wouldnt want one as an only car though if I ever had just one car again, nowhere near as much fun compared to a 172 and not enough better on fuel to win on that alone.
 
  182 FF sport clio RB
Thats not my reason but it is sometimes a side effect of knowing what you are on about which when it comes to most things related to tuning cars I obviously do, not going to apologise for that or try and hide it.

A side affect of knowing about cars lol "alright mate" sounds to me like you enjoy making people look stupid to get a status of, "don't mess with chip he's a beast when it comes to tuning" you may well be but, medal?
 

imprezaworks

ClioSport Club Member
  Mk5 Golf GTI :)
Ive asked Chip for loads of advice, hes helped me out alot. I suppose when you read a reply you can interperat how you want, im sure he doesnt do it too make people look stupid.
 
  RB 200
YUP its not just you .. i keep getting people in at work who see the 200 outside and go ah is that fast, it has 182 bhp doesn't it... then waffle on about how there fiesta ST std with 147 bhp is faster ... ... and would skin it =/ ..
I get the impression people lie to try and make there car sound better than yours because there jelous ...its a sad world.
 

Dan.AS

ClioSport Club Member
  RB 182 & Mk2 GTE 16v
Was talking to a guy at work the other day, he asks if the 182 outside is mine, and then tells me about a mate of his with a 172 that's got 400+ bhp and he's only spent 1200 quid on it. It seemed to make him smile by believing that. Who am I to take that away from him :)
 

Pacman.

ClioSport Club Member
  Did have a R27
I've got one lad at work who keeps reminding me that my Clio is French and S**T. TBH He is the most boring man in NATO and drives a Subaru Impreza Sport. Sometimes I daydream about stabbing him in the eye with a fork to see what it would be like.

Also another lad that keeps reminding me that his Astra VXR is faster then my R27. Which is true too be fair, I am almost tempted to sell my Megane and Clio and go buy a R26 R and wipe his VXR across the road lol
 
  RB 200
I've got one lad at work who keeps reminding me that my Clio is French and S**T. TBH He is the most boring man in NATO and drives a Subaru Impreza Sport. Sometimes I daydream about stabbing him in the eye with a fork to see what it would be like.

Also another lad that keeps reminding me that his Astra VXR is faster then my R27. Which is true too be fair, I am almost tempted to sell my Megane and Clio and go buy a R26 R and wipe his VXR across the road lol


astra vxr just states CHAV for me ... just laugh in his face knowing your car looks a million times better and will still perform well.
 
  Clio 172
Alot of it tbh is down to people believing what they are told, I don't think they are all liars but alot of them are told 'its this' and thats what they believe as they know no better. Some clearly are full of s**t and it always brightens my day when one wanders into my dealership and tells me bull about a car that I've sold for the last 11 years but hey ho I just smile and let them carry on. I occasionally drop in the 'oh right I've only sold these for X years and didn't know that. They then either shut up or try and justify what they have told me. As I said most people know no better than what they have been told by someone else.
 
  2007 clio dynamique
It seems alot of vxr owners think there the best car on the road , i have a freind that thinks the same , i just take no notice at the comments now much easier lol
 
  172
theres a lad kicking about who has a VTR but with vts lump in and he keeps saying how it goes off the clock so needless to say i sat on his back bumper in my vts and it he didnt get passed 130 on the speedo also keeps saying how hes beat quick cars etc until chris205 left him the other week and he also says hel beat my 182bhp 172 cup lol carnt wait 2 get the cup back on the roads now
 
Last edited:
I had a mechanic tell me my coilovers must be worth £2000, there ktec ones :-s. Also a different mechanic said having a decat will give me 20bhp instantly.
 
  182/RS2/ Turbo/Mk1
I had a mechanic tell me my coilovers must be worth £2000, there ktec ones :-s. Also a different mechanic said having a decat will give me 20bhp instantly.
Most mechanics know how to remove and replace parts but utterly naff all about tuning cars properly, that isn't their job at all and yet they nearly all seem to think they have a clue when they don't, I think as an occupation mechanics are the worst for talking rubbish about modified cars. Obviously there are some exceptions, but relatively rare.
 
  182/RS2/ Turbo/Mk1
Was talking to a guy at work the other day, he asks if the 182 outside is mine, and then tells me about a mate of his with a 172 that's got 400+ bhp and he's only spent 1200 quid on it. It seemed to make him smile by believing that. Who am I to take that away from him :)

Most people not into modified cars have little concept of what 400bhp in a light hatchback would feel like really.
I bet even half the people on this forum would believe my turbo was 400bhp if they went out in it even though it's not much over 250 really.
 
  182/RS2/ Turbo/Mk1
A side affect of knowing about cars lol "alright mate" sounds to me like you enjoy making people look stupid to get a status of, "don't mess with chip he's a beast when it comes to tuning" you may well be but, medal?

Without meaning to belittle this forum mate Ive spent the last half a dozen years writing tuning articles for large national magazines, do you really think that compared to that I'm going to really care much about trying to impress a few dozen people reading a thread on cs?
Im just ocd about stuff being accurate so if I see something wrong I point out it's rubbish, couldn't care less about anything else really like who feels big or small or whatever it is you are clearly so bothered about.
Be a boring world if we were all the same though, so viva le difference.
 
  Clio 1.2tce DSX
Most mechanics know how to remove and replace parts but utterly naff all about tuning cars properly, that isn't their job at all and yet they nearly all seem to think they have a clue when they don't, I think as an occupation mechanics are the worst for talking rubbish about modified cars. Obviously there are some exceptions, but relatively rare.

Can I be an exception please? lmao. just about to finish my apprenticeship at long last can't wait to get some more money!!!! ps I don't pretend to know anything I don't know as fact and if I've heard something I do say that it may/may not be true :)
 
  White clique
I sometimes get people starting a conversation about my car, i was at the car wash place the other day and a bloke in a 1 series BMW claimed to have just ordered a Z4 like mine, and when we were talking about the spec list he had chosen it was pretty clear he was making the whole thing up, as the options combinations dont exist and he couldnt even be clear on the engine he had ordered until i had prompted him on the model range. But meh, he was just being friendly.
 
Not Clio related, but amusing.
I was working for a kit car company here in Conrwall, and one day one of the refuse guys walked in, to ask about a BMW his brother had just bought.

Him: My brother has just bought an E30 BMW, and he's been told it's an M3, but he's not sure.

Me: It is left hand drive?

Him: No.

Me: It's not an M3 then.

Him: It's got M3 badges.

Me: Is the boot lid raised up, and is there an additional panel around the rear window making it slope more?

Him: No.

Me: It's not an M3 then.

Him: It' a 6 cylinder one.

Me: WHAT PART OF "IT's NOT AN M3" DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND.................

We get the same thing at Scoobybits. The Subaru bulls*t that some punters talk is unbelievable!
 
  172, Focus
I find it awkward when people run on about all these bolt on performance parts they have fitted to their cars and seem to think that each part has a definitive horsepower gain, like they are actually living in Gran Turismo.
"Yeah man, that induction kit gives me 10 bhp, my exhaust gives me 20 bhp and my monster energy drink sticker is worth at least 200 bhp"
Never mind the fact their car is never actually set up correctly to make the most of any change made, so the engine ecu just confuses itself wondering what the F is going on.
 
  Nissan 350z
Well after seeing this topic a while back and having nothing to contribute i never replied... until Saturday just gone when some randomer tried to open my door with me sat in the drivers side parked up :quiet:

Bricks were shat as i saw someones hand try to open the passenger door via the wing mirror, so i opened the window and asked wtf he was doing but turns out he just wanted to have a snope around the car and talk about it. Aparently his daughter was after a car and he liked the look of mine, felt like saying "too much for you pal" but decided against it. Cue the usual "what gadgets does it have, what mpg do you get" stuff...
 
  PB 182 (1 of 29)
Went to a newly formed Subaru Dealer to look at a MY2007 Hawkeye Sti recently, the dealer came out and talked about how well looked after the car was and said the lady owner even added these big Brembo brakes, the BBS alloys and the spoiler at the top of the rear screen, when I told him that all those parts were actually standard OEM fitments he headed inside to fetch the other 2 salesmen. I then had to give a potted history of the Impreza including MY changes and standard kit - suffice to say I walked away after giving my lecture.

However, the best one was when I went to look at an admittedly cheap Trophy at a large independent dealer in South Wales. Car was straight and mileage was good but the service history had a large gap in it. When I looked under the car the whole underside was covered in oil, asked the dealer where the oil was from and he proceded to explain that they brushed oil under all of the cars they sold for rust protection (I checked, none of the other motors he was selling had this!). I also noticed the near side damper was leaking. I mentioned that it needed a damper refurb which would be £700 so asked what he'd knock off, he replied that he had a mate who could get a new set of dampers for £100 so he'd knock that off....................I called in at a dealer in Birmingham on the way home and bought the Petrol Blue 182..........
 
  182/RS2/ Turbo/Mk1
Lol @ getting a paid of trophy dampers for 100 quid, should have asked him for 10 sets and told him you were happy to pay double!
Obviously he just had no clue they werent just normal dampers I guess and to be fair unless you are a clio nerd you arent likely to do so.
 
  182 FF sport clio RB
I find it awkward when people run on about all these bolt on performance parts they have fitted to their cars and seem to think that each part has a definitive horsepower gain, like they are actually living in Gran Turismo.
"Yeah man, that induction kit gives me 10 bhp, my exhaust gives me 20 bhp and my monster energy drink sticker is worth at least 200 bhp"
Never mind the fact their car is never actually set up correctly to make the most of any change made, so the engine ecu just confuses itself wondering what the F is going on.

That.
 

Michaelfoz

ClioSport Club Member
  Clios
Was speaking to someone in the scrappies to other day. (this scrappies buys and sells cars as well)
he was looking at a BG ph2 with white roof and grills etc. (chav wagon)
i heard him say to his mate:
we could put it on track!
i replied - i wouldnt buy that the old owner wrecked it
him. aye they are pretty slow anyway. my mates 1.6 civic would rip it to bits
me. i dont think so. these are pretty fast and have a top end of like 140. ( i know you probably wouldn't hit this on any track but i was just making a point)
him. nah mate, ive been in my mates civic at 165.

need i say more
 
  CBR1000RR Fireblade
I've had 100's of encounters like this, too many to remember. I even had them at CS meets, I deal with them by shaking my head and walking away. Even if I try and educate the uneducated they start to argue so I leave them to be misinformed.
 
  SQ5
Was speaking to someone in the scrappies to other day. (this scrappies buys and sells cars as well)
he was looking at a BG ph2 with white roof and grills etc. (chav wagon)
i heard him say to his mate:
we could put it on track!
i replied - i wouldnt buy that the old owner wrecked it
him. aye they are pretty slow anyway. my mates 1.6 civic would rip it to bits
me. i dont think so. these are pretty fast and have a top end of like 140. ( i know you probably wouldn't hit this on any track but i was just making a point)
him. nah mate, ive been in my mates civic at 165.

need i say more

You do realise a 1.6 Civic Vti/TypeR with a full exhaust system and filter setup would be quicker than a Clio.
 
I got one the other day,

Him: im thinking of fitting a turbo onto my vtr saxo, But i need a new inlet manifold

Me: what for you will be able to get away with a different exhaust manifold, surely ? (just to clarify i don't know what bits need changing on a saxo to accommodate boost, but i assume its the same as it is with most cars, new exhaust manifold-turbo-intercooler then to the inlet.)

Him: no its a petrol the turbo doesnt run off the exhaust like diesels do, because the engine sucking the air in spools the turbo up.

At this point i actually cramped up with laughter
 
  clio sport
ive got a great one pulled up outside my local off liceanse to see three chavs crowded around a clearly marked 1.3 civic.

one mong: oi mate ow much for your wheels (bbs deep dish)
me: not for sale mate
mong: why you want those on a french car and not german they dub wheels init
me: cause they fit :)
mong: my vtecs supercharged and got a chip it would d**k your sport mate
me; when i leave see if you can keep up then

i came out and booted it towards the bypass slip road and he was too far behind for me too see before i even hit the by pass, the funny thing is he actually left his mates there thinking being 1 up would help.... it didnt
 
  SG 200 Cup+F4R'd MK1
"Nice car mate, is that the boost gauge?"

"No, its the oil pressure gauge"

"oh, which one is the boost gauge?"

"It doesnt have a boost gauge because it doesnt have a turbo."

"So it doesnt have a dump valve either?"

Jesus.

Best one i heard was my mate being pulled over by the police because his Starlet turbo was "leaking compressed gas"

He said he spent a few minutes trying to explain that it was supposed to do that.

No idea if it's a true story or not?
 

Knuckles

ClioSport Admin
Lol. I really do not understand chavs. Why do they feel the need to try (and fail) at making themselves sound better than everyone else?! Utter scum.

Im sure I mentioned it in here but I had the bumper, bonnet and lights off my old car working on something when a group of them walked past saying 'it's s**t that, my mates is better. It's got tints and an exhaust' I politely ignored them and carried on tinkering.. But what actually possesses them all to act that way?
 


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