Killzone 2 IGN 9.4/10

[rapid86]

wednesday at 9 would be perfect! maybe half nine for me but 9 onwards!

 

[Brazo]

Its official Killzone 2 is better than Halo3 ROFFLE!!!

Killzone 2 launched exclusively for the PlayStation 3 this Friday, generating much bias from biased people who are biased. It also sold quite a few copies and has been setting the PlayStation Network afire with grenade spam and shotgun rampages. It is a great game.

It is also blatantly better than Halo 3.

Because one good thing cannot exist in this world without something else being absolutely rubbish, we present our concise and thoughtful argument explaining exactly how Killzone 2 is blatantly better than Halo 3.



Sean Pertwee is in it:

Any game with Sean Pertwee in it is better than any game without. By this token, Primal is also far superior to Halo 3, as are the original Killzone and Warhammer 40,000: Fire Warrior. Every multiplayer game needs Sean Pertwee's rasping Englishness barking orders through a gas mask, and if you disagree then you are obviously a casual gamer, which is why you love Halo so much. Halo players are so stupid.

Sean Pertwee was in Event Horizon, which is the best film ever made about a space ship and starring a man who played Merlin. His appearance makes everything better. Better than Halo 3, at least.

You can throw blood packs:

I shouldn't really have to explain this one, but since you probably play Halo 3 and are therefore a moron, I suppose I'll lower myself to speaking like a grade school teacher. In Killzone 2's multiplayer, there's a class system, and you can choose to be a Medic. If you level up the Medic enough, you gain the ability to throw blood packs on the floor and walk over them to quickly regain health. This is fantastic.

Throwing blood packs on the floor and stamping on them to suck the blood up through your boots is more realistic than some magic white box with a red cross on it like inferior FPSes have. I in fact saw a man recover from getting shot in the stomach because doctors pushed blood up through the soles of his feet. He looked at me when they did it, which proves it happened.

The main character is a midget:

A few people have whined and complained that the camera angle of Killzone 2 seems to indicate that the main character, Sgt. Sev Betterthanhalo, is some sort of midget. It's really held low to the ground and you need to look up to see any of the characters. Obviously the only people who complain about that are whiny Micros**tting Fagtart fanboys who are trying to protect their precious Halo 3, which is not as good as Killzone 2. Their bad journalism and bias disgusts me.

The reason why the camera angle is so low is because Guerrilla Games is trying to demonstrate that those of smaller stature still have a valuable contribution to society, since they can be trained into heartless killing machines and used to defend our planet. This is possible because their experience as social pariahs has allowed them to dehumanize themselves to great degrees, allowing them to end another person's life with cold-blooded and ruthless efficiency.

Compare that to Halo 3's bigoted anti-midget stance and I think you'll agree that Killzone 2 comes out on top every time. This shameless glorification of the tall needs to end.



You can bring people to life with a zappy gun:

Again, this has received some criticism from casual frat boy Xbox Live gamers who don't even own a PS3 so they don't know what they're talking about, but in Killzone 2 you can bring downed allies back to life by shooting them with a magical zappy gun that heals all their wounds. Some "people" have a problem with this.

The magical zappy gun of eternal life is better than anything in Halo 3 because it gives us hope for the future. It tells us that if we work hard enough, we too may unlock the secrets of eternal life with a cheap-looking gun that shoots static electricity, and that's a better message to kids than "one day religious aliens will probably kill us all and there is no God," which is what Halo 3 definitely says.

32-player simultaneous voice chat works:

You may think that allowing 32 players to simultaneously talk on their headsets in a game lobby would generate an obnoxiously loud cacophony of indecipherable and excruciating gibberish interspersed with the phrase "Helghast nigga," and you'd be right -- if you're an IDIOT!

32-player voice chat works because it's a metaphorical and scathing satire on the reality of war. War is, in and of itself, a painful mess of miscommunication and a breakdown of human sensibility. War is unintelligible and illogical, something that cannot be understood by man, especially those stuck doing the fighting. A far cry from Halo 3's obnoxiously shallow premise of "War is great," Killzone 2 is a deep game with a morally relevant message for our times. Those who say Killzone 2 has no story obviously missed the whole point.



Master Chief is a pedophile:

While this is never explicitly mentioned in Halo 3, Bungie has since confirmed that, like Dumbledore in Harry Potter, Master Chief is a pedophile. We don't have a link to where Bungie said this, but Bungie definitely said it, which is the point. There aren't any pedophiles in Killzone 2, and if there were, they would not be portrayed as heroes like Bungie's man/boy-love propaganda, Halo 3. You'd get to shoot them instead, which is better.

"Master Chief is a pedophile," we think Bungie probably said once. "He is one. We even drew some pictures of him doing it, and that means he is one."

This would also explain why 100% of the people who play Halo 3 are, without exception, gay pedophiles. Meanwhile, Killzone 2 players have lots of sex with adult women, except for the two women who play it, who can't be pedophiles anyway because there's no such thing as a girl pedo.



The controls are superior:

First of all, everybody knows that the Xbox 360 controller is s**t, worse than even PC controls, which are notoriously horrible for shooting games. The PS3 Sixaxis Dual Analog Next Gen Interactive Hand Device 3 is the definitive way to enjoy an FPS, and anybody who says otherwise is an Al-Qaeda sympathizer.

A few total nobody imbeciles have moaned like b**ches that the controls are too hard for their clueless Halo-loving minds to comprehend, and that there is too much sluggish lag because they can't understand actual tactics in a game. Yes, it's not just jumping around firing Spartan Needlers and driving in Pumbaas, pal! Killzone 2's controls are better because of reasons, and you can't argue with reasons.

Also, it would be a crime for me to not point out the realism of the controls, which makes Killzone 2 a way more immersive game than Master Chief's Stupid Adventure Which Isn't Very Immersive Actually. Just ask any real-life soldier who has fought in a real-life war. He'll tell you that Killzone 2 is just like an actual conflict. Real soldiers have to wait a second to turn around after pushing their left analog stick, and Guerrilla has captured that perfectly.

It's f**king obviously better:

Killzone 2 is obviously better because I like it, and if I like it then that means Halo 3 sucks and anybody who likes it is wrong.

So there you have it, we have proven with facts that Killzone 2 is better than Halo 3. If you choose to disagree with the completely irrefutable argument presented, then you are literally a moron. Now f**k off, I need to go play Doom.

 

[willy298]

Started playing this morning had the game ages but just got round to playing it this morning. Wasnt impressed at all, only played the on single player as not got my net sorted in the new house yet.

 

[Munson]

Pmsl at that above. One point is actually correct though. Fancy spending 12 years writing 'the best shooter ever made' and then putting the camera on the players belt buckle. Schoolboy error and an epic failure. I spent most of my KZ2 game wondering if my legs had been cut off. Idiots.

 

[Brazo]

Yep that bit was quality, as was the medi pack blood sucking and halos aniti midget stance,best bit was the controls!!!

 

[Munson]

Yeah the stuff about the controls was funny, especially the bit about K&M PC controls being terrible for shooters

BTW I was being sarcastic with 'best shooter ever made'

 

[16v_er]

just finished this....offline game is too short, and i found the lack of a torch in some areas annoying......however, the most annoying is the reload times???!!!! at one point i thought the charcacter was polishing his gun it was taking that long to reload. Saying this though i think its a cracking game and look forward to kz3 hopefully with a bigger story.

 

[sneeks]

Two new DLC map packs to be released later this month.

 

[sneeks]

The first downloadable content for Killzone 2 on PLAYSTATION 3 is on its way in the form of the Steel & Titanium Pack: a download featuring two all-new maps for Warzone, Killzone 2’s online multiplayer mode where up to 32 players battle it out on PlayStation Network. New from Sony Computer Entertainment Europe, the Steel & Titanium pack will expand the Killzone 2 experience even further with the Wasteland Bullet map and the Vekta Cruiser map: two new crucibles of combat filled with danger and opportunities to dish out punishment for the opposition.
In the Wasteland Bullet map, the action will take place on the bullet train that links Pyrrhus and the Wasteland and transports much needed goods and troops between the two regions. The game is a frenzied firefight to wrestle complete control of the train away from the enemy and into the hands of your faction. With the train hurtling at full speed, you’ll need to remain aware of your immediate environment as well as your enemies – hitting an overhead obstacle at this speed will mean instant death. In the Vekta Cruiser map, ISA troops aboard a vast ship must repel a force of assaulting Helghast troops whilst also protecting the cruiser itself from heavy Helghan fire. The action takes place entirely indoors in a hauntingly claustrophobic game where attackers lurk around every corner.
Released this February, the acclaimed Killzone 2 puts players at the forefront of a daring interplanetary invasion of the terrifying planet Helghan, pitting two fearsome forces - the ISA and the Helghast - against each other in an incredibly hostile warzone where lightning illuminates the theatre of combat and rain lashes the troops. In multiplayer Warzone mode, players join up via PlayStation Network in a specially-developed set of games where teamwork and tactics are key. A world of futuristic combat on a truly planetary scale, Killzone 2 puts players at war with each other and everything around them; now, with the Steel & Titanium pack, the experience is about to get even more intense on April 30th.

 

[oska]

Ah well, I'm trading mine in, can't even be arse to finish the single player. Think I'm on level 3 or 4 lol.

 

[Brazo]

Must admit I am bored of the multiplayer now! Will be stocking with Socom for a while methinks but may go back to KZ2.

 

[Munson]

I think mine is in the kitchen with a fruit bowl on it. Roffle

</spam>

 

[martynh]

I'm still playing COD4.

 

[16v_er]

i love this game online!!!!

 

[sneeks]

The map pack for this is available on the PSN.

 

[Brazo]

'And they will know.... Helghan is for the Helghast'

Am getting back into this online, graphics are immense tbh, will pick up the Steel and Titanium map pack as its got the moving train level and that is just win!

 

[Brazo]

Have to say was dissapointed to see so many preowned copies in Gamestation today!!!!!

 

[Turkish]

Really enjoying this at the moment, along with Uncharted this has made me feel less like I've wasted my money buying a PS3.

 

[oska]

There's another map pack avaliable iirc.

 

[David]

completed it the other day was good fun

 

[Turkish]

I've finished the Battlegear style level and part way through the next one, any idea how far through I am?

 

[seb]

further than me. i did the first level and haven't turned it on since then.

i enjoyed it but need to crack on with it. so little time, so much to do. plus cod 4 still gets rinsed

 

[Turkish]

I'm actually enjoying it, couple of niggles with it but for the most part I rate it. Visually stunning IMO.

 

[oska]

I liked it at first but it's just another FPS. It does look good but I only did a couple of levels and got bored. I still have it but think I'll trade it and Resistance 2 for Call of Juarez.
http://www.crispygamer.com/gamepages/call-of-juarez-bound-in-blood-pc.aspx

 

[Brazo]

I've finished the Battlegear style level and part way through the next one, any idea how far through I am?

Fighting in a space ship style environment? If so you have one more very hard level left!

 

[Turkish]

You'll have it back soon then I'll try and finish up this weekend fella

 

[Brazo]

LOl no rush fella as not getting on it as much as I would like the good weathers keeping me out!

 

[seb]

online - yay or nay? as addicitive as cod 4 online? perks/levelling up etc?

 

[Brazo]

Online is awSUM!

Its class based m/p action so the higher you go the more classes open up to you. May fave level is Pyrrius rise, graphics are simply stunning and its a huge 32 player level.

 

[Brazo]

Oh and they've recently patched the controls with a high precision option and nerfed the rocket launcher class (assualt) to stop the gits spamming rockets into spawn points!

 

[DH_GTI]

which map pack is better,
Flash and thunder
or steel and titanium

 

[Brazo]

which map pack is better,
Flash and thunder
or steel and titanium

I would say the third one

Napalm and Cordite

http://www.psu.com/Third-Killzone-2-map-pack-incoming,-next-patch-detailed--a007735-p0.php

TBH I will be buying all three!

 

[16v_er]

excellent game online....will be buying this for sure. Clan matches are epic!

 

[16v_er]

is anyone having problems joining their clan matches? keeps saying tornments dont exsist?

 

[Brazo]

Anyone else switched to the high precision aiming mode? It totally changes the game as its now very call of duty (i..e floaty!) All the weight has gone from the movement and tbh its much better

 

[FiXX]

i didnt think it changed it that much.

 

[Brazo]

KZ2 cleaned up on both IGN and Gamespots websites beating MW2 to best shooter of the year!

 

[Munson]

PMSL. Most annoying, linear, drawn out, cheating shooter of the year. That's not to say it isn't good, but shooter of the year??

 

[Darren S]

Didn't KZ2 have some massive install like 40GB+ or something? Or am I thinking of something else?

D.

 

[Scutch]

PMSL @ brazo dishing out the results of the IGN awards in all the threads.

Good stuff, though